tassology

what do you see?
an island
a lush tropical island formed from volcanic eruptions

a leaf
as if painted in watercolor washes

a ballgown
belonging to a fairy queen

...so am I a fairy queen
who paints in watercolors
and lives on a volcanic island?

...or I am going to travel to a volcanic island
wearing a leaf-ballgown belonging to a fairy queen?

what do you see? I asked him.
I see we need to do the dishes, he answered.

perhaps I should drink another cup of tea in my quest of becoming an expert in tassology...

cry of hunger

2007 collage detail
This early morning, I opened a window trying to figure out where the wailing sound was coming from. Had someone left a crying baby in a basket outside or does that only happen in film and fiction?

It is the cry of hunger, he told me. A baby bird is crying for its mother who is out getting food.

The cry of hunger.
What do I hunger for?
What does my cry of hunger sound like?

I hunger for peace.
I hunger for balance.

My cry of hunger is often silent....do I need to be more like that baby bird, wailing in the early morning making sure I am heard? Or is there a louder sound in the silent cry of hunger?

mamisma - mamista

detail from my notebook

soy mamisma o mamista
y ni lo sabia...

no es exactamente lo opuesto del machismo
no es exactamente lo mismo del feminismo

mamisma es
una fuerza feroz y femenina
una fuerza natural y maternal
compasión con amor

soy mamista
y mi alma siempre lo sabia...

Gracias Isabel Allende...un placer conocerte anoche...

being mamisma or would it be mamista
without realizing it...

it’s not exactly the opposite of machismo
it’s not exactly the same as feminism

mamisma is
a fierce feminine force
a natural and maternal force
compassion with love

I am mamista
and my soul has always known it...

Thank you Isabel Allende...a pleasure meeting you last night...

stones

2003 sculpture surrounded by some of my stone collection
woke up
dancing to the rolling stones
my body
feeling the rhythm
moving freely
without judgment

some people like to
walk for exercise
jog or run to stay strong
some people enjoy machines

I dance
till I drop

I sing
till I laugh

I stretch
till I lengthen

yoga and the rolling stones
extremes that keep me in balance

excerpt from my journal

fragile as a thread

silk threads & amethysts waiting to become part of a CASIMIRA
if a human being is as fragile as a single thread...

...is humanity the cloth made of countless woven threads?

who are the threads in your life?

what texture is your cloth?

decálogo - decalogue

it's not what you think it is...2007 study for sculpture
Decálogo del Artista - Decalogue of the Artist

I. Amarás la belleza, que es la sombra de Dios sobre
el Universo.

I. You shall love beauty, which is the shadow of God
over the Universe.

II. No hay arte ateo. Aunque no ames al Creador,
lo afirmarás creando a su semejanza.

II. There is no godless art. Although you love not the
Creator, you shall bear witness to Him/Her creating His/Her likeness.

III. No darás la belleza como cebo para los sentidos,
sino como el natural alimento del alma.

III. You shall create beauty not to excite the senses
but to give sustenance to the soul.

IV. No te será pretexto para la lujuria ni para
la vanidad, sino ejercicio divino.

IV. You shall never use beauty as a pretext for luxury
and vanity but as a spiritual devotion.

V. No la buscarás en las ferias ni llevarás
tu obra a ellas, porque la Belleza es virgen,
y la que está en las ferias no es Ella.

V. You shall not seek beauty at carnival or fair
or offer your work there, for beauty is virginal
and is not to be found at carnival or fair.

VI. Subirá de tu corazón a tu canto y te habrá
purificado a ti el primero.

VI. Beauty shall rise from your heart in song,
and you shall be the first to be purified.

VII. Tu belleza se llamará también misericordia,
y consolará el corazón de los hombres.

VII. The beauty you create shall be known
as compassion and shall console the hearts of men.

VIII. Darás tu obra como se da un hijo: restando
sangre de tu corazón.

VIII. You shall bring forth your work as a mother
brings forth her child: out of the blood of your heart.

IX. No te será la belleza opio adormecedor,
sino vino generoso que te encienda para la acción,
pues si dejas de ser hombre o mujer,
dejarás de ser artista.

IX. Beauty shall not be an opiate that puts you
to sleep but a strong wine that fires you to action,
for if you fail to be a true man or a true woman,
you will fail to be an artist.

X. De toda creación saldrás con vergüenza,
porque fué inferior a tu sueño, e inferior
a ese sueño maravilloso de Dios,
que es la Naturaleza.

X. Each act of creation shall leave you humble,
for it is never as great as your dream and always
inferior to that most marvelous dream of God
which is Nature.

- GABRIELA MISTRAL

English translation by Doris Dana (with a couple changes by me)

waves

2007 Untitled, a recent photo I took in Nicaragua's Isletas
waves

my body moves in waves

when I dance...even when I walk sometimes

waves of laughter...waves of grief...waves of waves

"I love waves; I wish I had some in my hair. My daddy did, but I guess I didn't dive into that end of the gene pool. Virginia Woolf wrote my favorite book, The Waves, and I have a son who surfs them. I danced a thousand dances to Patti Smith's song "Wave" and I've waved a thousand good-byes. I've seen waves come and take my house, flood the same bedroom where they accompanied countless nights of lovemaking. I have ridden the waves of labor, of sorrow, and of bliss."
- GABRIELLE ROTH

from her book "Sweat Your Prayers: Movement as Spiritual Practice" which I am currently reading and practicing

un tesoro

2007 "TESORO" mixed media collage

llevas un tesoro por dentro

ofrecelo al mundo

con humildad y seguridad

you carry a treasure within

offer it to the world

with humility and security


part of the message I received in a dream last night

delicious ambiguity

2007 Untitled study for sculpture
On the way to Whole Foods' salad bar, I found this quote about perfection and delicious ambiguity...

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity."
- GILDA RADNER

one of the greatest artists

2007 mixed media depicting a fellow artist who lives in Granada and participates in art courses taught by Robert Barberena De La Rocha through Future of Nicaragua Foundation in association with Arts for the Aging
She wears butterflies in her hair and sings old love songs never forgotten. She sports a vintage pair of Chuck Taylor All Stars and tries not to use a cane when walking. When I hug her, she smells of fresh roses and baby powder. Once upon a time, she loved to cook and occasionally shares secret recipes. She is one of the greatest artists I have ever met, teaching me about the Art of Living.

meeting & kissing BOTERO

the postcard Maestro Fernando Botero signed for me last night
...So it stopped raining. The sun began to shine. Plans changed. I blow-dried my hair. I wore a CASIMIRA with tiny Colombian emeralds.

The exhibit was truly disturbing on numerous levels. The smaller, intimate watercolors and pencil drawings on paper impacted me more than the larger colorful paintings which reminded me of cartoons at first glance.

I recognized his tall wife from the Spanish HOLA magazines certain Latinas enjoy reading at salons and on airplanes ( I like to quickly view the photos, but have never purchased a copy). She seemed elegant yet not without a certain air of melancholy. Dressed all in black, as if mourning a youth that has begun to escape her. I could not help but notice a little stain on the right sleeve of her suit. I admired the bold sculptural necklace she wore. She said something about speaking French better than Spanish and about being married to the most famous man in the world. I asked if I might have a photo with her. She was gracious and kind. My camera was moody and out of focus.

He seemed to be a perfect gentleman. White hair and beard with sparkling little eyes of a man who has lived and seen a lot. Impeccably dressed in a dark blue-gray suit with stripes. He smiled and glanced into my eyes with a hint of mischief. An excellent memory - he remembered my grandfather who purchased his first painting in the United States. He signed my postcard. I may have given him a kiss on the cheek...I can't remember. Did I kiss Botero? Did Botero kiss me?

Will he ever paint me? Actually, I am not sure I would like to be portrayed as a cartoon figure...a chubby one at that...and I doubt he would consider changing the style which has made his art instantly recognizable.

So, does rain bring poetry and does sunlight dry it all away? Read yesterday's entry for a possible answer today...

rain, poetry & fernando botero

1996 Untitled, detail from mixed media
I have been awake since 5 a.m. The rain outside is comforting...soothing. This early morning has become a favorite time for me – a little gift I give myself. My morning ritual is made up of yoga practice and meditation followed by writing. I love knowing a lot of my neighbors are still sleeping. I have a busy day ahead...I need to complete a (gorgeous) necklace and begin to make some more cards. After classes, I am meeting my Mom to attend international poetry readings. Since it’s raining, I don’t have to worry about blow-drying my hair...what will I wear?...something that goes with the necklace I suppose...and what about meeting Fernando Botero?...that will have to be on another occasion, perhaps when he paints that portrait of me...

excerpt from my journal

noble soul's disappointment

2004 self-portrait in metal

“Disappointment to a noble soul

is what cold water is to burning metal;

it strengthens, tempers, intensifies,

but never destroys it.” - ELIZA TABOR

disappointment only creates opportunities - JOYFUL opportunities

el talismán de tu piel

2007 self-portraits inspired by Andy Warhol







"el talismán de tu piel me ha dicho
que soy la reina de tus caprichos,
yo soy el as de los corazones,
que se pasean en tus tentaciones,
el talismán de tu piel me cuenta
que en tu montura caerán las riendas

cuando una noche de amor desesperados
caigamos juntos y enredados
la alfombra y el alrededor, acabaran
desordenados
cuando una noche de amor que yo no dudo
la eternidad venga seguro
tu y yo, el desnudo y el corazón...seremos uno

yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: el talismán de tu piel lo dice,
yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: lo dice el corazón y el fuego de tu piel,
yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: el talismán de tu piel lo dice,
yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: a ver que dices tu

el talismán de tu piel me chiva
que ando descalza de esquina a esquina,
por cada calle que hay en tus sueños,
que soy el mar de todos tus puertos,
el talismán de tu piel me cuenta
que tu destino caerá a mi puerta"
song lyrics - © ROSANA ARBELO

I woke up dancing....singing...loving life...

hija de la luna

2007 "Hija de la Luna" linoleum print on hand-made tree-free paper

nací una noche salvaje

del vientre sagrado de luz


soy hija de luna

hermana de sol

madre de estrellas

the little print was created in Nicaragua as part of a recent course taught by Robert Barberena De La Rocha

deepest fear

2007 study for sculpture

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."

–Marianne Williamson

día de los muertos

gemstones from my studio waiting to become a CASIMIRA sculpture
los espíritus me andan siguiendo
he soñado con muertos
con lunas llenas
con playas plenas
con diamantes y esmeraldas

hoy
día de los muertos
celebro mi vida
y la tuya también

hoy
día de todos los santos
me visto de luna
canto diamantes
bailo esmeraldas

muertos o vivos - todos somos los mismos

WRITE she whispered

2007 mixed media color study
She visited my dreams last night and this morning. She smelled of roses when she hugged me close and told me she loved me and was so happy for me. She warned me against a certain few who would be envious and who would not hesitate to betray. Together we visited palaces and gardens. Before waking up, she embraced me and whispered into my ear, "WRITE"....

excerpt from my dream journal, from last night's dream

lending wings

"If you want to be an angel,
I can lend you my wings..."

- Alexandra Bertran

are you willing to lend your angel wings to another in need?


are you aware of your wings?

creating veins

2007 mixed media study for 2008 sculpture
create the veins
- he said

i shall build the body around the veins
- he whispered