ancient druid holiday

- mixed media depicting dreams -

"Halloween is an ancient druidic holiday, one the Celtic peoples have celebrated for millennia. It is the crack between the last golden rays of summer and the dark of winter; the delicately balanced tweak of the year before it is given over entirely to the dark; a time for the souls of the departed to squint, to peek and perhaps to travel through the gap. What could be more thrilling and worthy of celebration than that? It is a time to celebrate sweet bounty, as the harvest is brought in. It is a time of excitement and pleasure for children before the dark sets in. We should all celebrate that." - Jenny Colgan

when will you stay?

"A bough with blossoms bears fruit.

The hawk descends with purpose.

Your image comes and goes here inside me. 

When will you stay?"

- my beloved RUMI

deeper into feeling

"Rather than fearfully shutting down your sensitivity, dive in deeper into all possible feeling. As you expand, keep only those who are not afraid of oceans."

- Victoria Erickson

almost

“You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever. 

I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it..."

- Jane Austen (1775 - 1817)

seis meses

mitad de un año -

descalza -

descubriendo el mundo

lovers

"...seeds in the belly...

can love endure?

why does it end?

...I totally recommend lovers...

much better to see each other in secret..."

- Isabel Allende during an interview promoting her latest novel, The Japanese Lover

always

"Whenever I'm alone with you

You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you 
You make me feel like I am whole again 

Whenever I'm alone with you 
You make me feel like I am young again 
Whenever I'm alone with you 
You make me feel like I am fun again 

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again

However far away
I will always love you..." - THE CURE

brave and true

"I think your applause died out, hands red, tired, and stained with the hue of once excited blood. I think you thought I was magic. Did my curtain lift when I forgot to take my bow? I think you thought you saw mirrors hiding in the fog and light. Backstage and alone I will slide off the cape, set down the hat, and bow to the empty seat I thought you were filling. I think you thought I was magic."

- T. Knott Gregson

br brave my darling, be true to your soul

from my journals 

siempre existes dondequiera

"Porque te tengo y no -

porque te pienso -

porque la noche está de ojos abiertos -

porque la noche pasa y digo amor -

porque has venido a recoger tu imagen -

y eres mejor que todas tus imágenes -

porque eres linda desde el pie hasta el alma -

porque eres buena desde el alma a mi -

porque te escondes dulce en el orgullo -

pequeña y dulce -

corazón coraza -

porque eres mía -

porque no eres mía -

porque te miro y muero -

y peor que muero -

si no te miro amor -

si no te miro - 

porque tu siempre existes dondequiera -

pero existes mejor donde te quiero -

porque tu boca es sangre -

y tienes frío -

tengo que amarte amor -

tengo que amarte -

aunque esta herida duela como dos -

y aunque -

la noche pase y yo te tenga -

y no."

- Mario Benedetti 

simply delighted

she greeted him in a cloud of tulle,

a barefoot Cinderella,

he brought her a gift in a famous blue box with white ribbon,

it was the beginning of a beautiful, timeless friendship...

I will bare my soul in time

- 2007 sketch from my journals -

"Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow..."

- Sacha Skarbek, sung by James Blunt 

the way you can get

- a page from my journals -

"I know the way you can get when you have not had a drink of Love;  your face hardens, your sweet muscles cramp.

Children become concerned about a strange look that appears in your eyes which even begins to worry your own mirror and nose.

Cats sense your sadness and call in an important conference in a tall tree.  They decide which secret code to chant to help your mind and soul.

Even angels fear that brand of madness that arrays itself against the world and throws sharp stones and spears into the innocent and into one's self.

Oh I know that way you can get if you have not been drinking Love:

 - You might rip apart every sentence your friends and teachers say, looking for hidden clauses.

 - You might weigh every word on a scale like a dead fish.

 - You might pull out a ruler to measure from every angle in your darkness the beautiful dimensions of a heart you once trusted.

I know the way you can get if you have not had a drink from Love's hands.

That is why all the Great Ones speak of the vital need to keep remembering God, so you will come to know and see Him as being so giving and wanting, just wanting to help.

That is why Hafiz says,

"Bring your cup near me, for a I am a Sweet Old Vagabond with an infinite leaking barrel of Light and Laughter and Truth that the Beloved has tied to my back.  Dear One, indeed, please bring your heart near me.  For all I care about is quenching your thirst for freedom!  All a sane man can ever care about is giving LOVE!"

- my beloved beloved HAFIZ

layers

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. 

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. 

A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..."

- Elizabeth Gilbert 

sketches on a paper table cover by the light of a candle in New York City

surrender to the dance

The Law of Detachment:

In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty...in the wisdom of uncertainty lies the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the prison of past conditioning. 

And in our willingness to step into the unknown, the field of all possibilities, we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe.

- Deepak Chopra

una luna llena de bendiciones en mis cumpleaños

My life overflows with blessings...

I am grateful to everyone who remembered my birthday and took a moment to acknowledge me...

snapshot - a selfie from a whimsical birthday series with my two little darlings, my greatest joys 

every day every moment

"birthday girl philosophy: be grateful to have been given one more day, let alone one more year. remember to dance in your nightgown, sing in the shower, ride a bike, fly a kite, and take an occasional "wind bath" in your bare skin. give those you love big kisses, huge hugs, and the words "i love you" often and always. nurture your body rather than starve your soul with fad dieting. spend time with the old and the weary to better appreciate your life. on your birthday, call your mother and father wherever they are to thank them for all that they have done for you. watch the movie "life is beautiful" at least once a year. remember that you are not guaranteed tomorrow and that today is as good as it gets. thank god for every thing, every day, every moment."

- a quote from a gift a dear friend gave me many years ago

This birthday on a powerful FULL MOON brought clarity on many levels...

los esqueletos

"The world's flattery and hypocrisy is a sweet morsel: eat less of it, for it is full of fire. Its fire is hidden while its taste is manifest, but its smoke becomes visible in the end."

- my beloved Rumi

los esqueletos mienten para quedar bien con la muerte

los esqueletos no creen en la vida

los esqueletos esconden la verdad

shifting relationship with time

forgiveness keeps us young, forgiveness keeps us light, forgiveness keeps us in love with life

who do we need to forgive?

who needs to forgive us?

"The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that's why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what they've really done is they've shifted their relationship with time. Forgive and call back the energy wasted on past events."
- Carolyn Myss

it was your world

"...She takes just like a woman, yes she does...

She makes love just like a woman, yes she does...

And she aches just like a woman...

But she breaks just like a little girl...

When we meet again,

introduced as friends,

please don't let on that you knew me when, I was hungry and it was your world...

Ah, you fake just like a woman, yes you do...

You make love just like a woman, yes you do...

Then you ache just like a woman...

But you break just like a little girl..."

- Bob Dylan

 

Papa-Coco

Beloved Grand Father and fellow Libra,

How I wish you were still walking upon this planet, holding my son's hand and looking into my baby daughter's sparkling eyes.

Although, I am certain you are already great friends on a soul level.


Mi Papa-Coco de mis sueños...

nací siendo la primera nieta del 

Doctor Antioco Sacasa Sarria 

mi Papa-Coco de ojos azules

quien me contaba cuentos

historias reales

leyendas maravillosas

con guitarra y voz dulce...

Papa-Coco siento su mirada en cielos celestes.

Papa-Coco escucho sus consejos con amor, ya que siempre nos encontramos en mis sueños...

la infinita serenidad antes de ser maldita

" Te doy mi alma desnuda, como estatua a la cual ningún cendal escuda. Desnuda con el puro impudor de un fruto, de una estrella o una flor; de todas esas cosas que tienen la infinita serenidad de Eva antes de ser maldita. De todas esas cosas, frutos, astros y rosas, que no sienten vergüenza del sexo sin celajes y a quienes nadie osara fabricarles ropajes. Sin velos, como el cuerpo de una diosa serena ¡que tuviera una intensa blancura de azucena! Desnuda, y toda abierta de par en par ¡por el ansia del amar! "

- Juana de Ibarbourou (1892 – 1929)

shivers

"When she closed her eyes she felt he had many hands, which touched her everywhere, and many mouths, which passed so swiftly over her, and with a wolf-like sharpness, his teeth sank into her fleshiest parts. Naked now, he lay his full length over her. She enjoyed his weight on her, enjoyed being crushed under his body. She wanted him soldered to her, from mouth to feet. Shivers passed through her body."

- Anais Nin (1903-1977)

detail from 2015 mixed media on canvas 

of kings and wings

"I have dined with kings,

I’ve been offered wings,

And I’ve never been too impressed."

- Bob Dylan

is it something you miss?

"...It's hard to say.  

Separate or combine, I ask you one last time:

Did I hold you too tight?

Did I not let enough light in?

If a feeling appears, if your mind should sway,

It's not a secret you should keep,

I won't let you slip away.

We used to be closer than this...

We used to be closer than this...

Is it something you miss?

Winged or chained,

I ask you,

Would you have stayed?" - XX

immune

"Do not take anything personally.

Nothing others do is because of you.

What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.

When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."

- Don Miguel Ruiz

my mantra

- mixed media from series - "MUJERES: Hijas - Hermanas - Madres"

"Arrange whatever pieces come your way."

- Virginia Woolf (1882-1941)

the way you make love

"There are so many words by Rumi that melt me straightaway into the heart pine floor. This particular line of words is so powerful and free of prediction that first it freezes me, forcing my eyes closed, and then instantly it infuses me with a kind of sweet slow burn that reminds me that I am so alive and so willing to take another chance on another new day. If this line had been spoken at Emmanuel Methodist Church when I was a girl in South Carolina I would not have been bored and scribbling bad poetry in the margins of the church program. I would have been mindful, engrossed, bowed, a devoted girl shepherd — imagining the future.” - Nikky Finney

--  “The way you make love is the way God will be with you." - RUMI --

don't miss out on the world

"Your past is over!

By bonding to your past, you not only ensure that you'll be immobilized today, but you prevent yourself from healing...

In a universe that's an intelligent system with a divine creative force supporting it, there simply can be no accidents.  As tough as it is to acknowledge, you had to go through what you went through in order to get to where you are today, and the evidence is that you did.  Every spiritual advance that you will make in your life will very likely be preceded by some kind of fall or seeming disaster.  Those dark times, accidents, illnesses, abuses, and broken dreams were ALL IN ORDER...

Practice living in the moment, and REFUSE to allow any thoughts based on your past to define you.  Stop and take notice of all that's in your immediate space - the people, creatures, vegetation, cloud formations, building designs, everything.  Stay in the present by meditating and getting closer to the ultimate now...God.

Your past history and all of your hurts are no longer here in your physical reality.  Don't allow them to be here in your mind, muddying your present moments.  Your life is like a play with several acts.  Some of the characters who enter have short roles to play, others, much larger.  Some are villains and others are good guys.  But all of them are NECESSARY, otherwise they wouldn't be in the play.  Embrace them all, and move on to the next act."
- Dr. Wayne Dyer

2013 limited edition mixed media on paper

it's no matter darling where you are

"...a voice within me keeps repeating: you, you, you. Night and day you are the one. Only you beneath the moon and under the sun. 

Whether near to me, or far - it's no matter darling where you are. I think of you night and day.

Day and night, why is it so?

That this longing for you follows wherever I go...in the silence of my lonely room, I think of you.

...a hungry yearning, burning inside of me and its torment won't be through till you let me spend my life making love to you,

day and night, night and day..."

- written by Cole Porter, circa 1932

my pictures of you

- a little sketch from my journals -

"I've been looking so long at these pictures of you 

That I almost believe that they're real 

I've been living so long with my pictures of you

That I almost believe that the pictures are 
All I can feel

Remembering

You standing quiet in the rain

As I ran to your heart to be near

And we kissed as the sky fell in

Holding you close

How I always held close in your fear

Remembering

You running soft through the night

You were bigger and brighter and whiter than snow

And screamed at the make-believe

Screamed at the sky

And you finally found all your courage

To let it all go

Remembering

You fallen into my arms

Crying for the death of your heart

You were stone white

So delicate

Lost in the cold

You were always so lost in the dark

Remembering

You how you used to be

Slow drowned

You were angels

So much more than everything

Hold for the last time then slip away quietly

Open my eyes

But I never see anything

If only I'd thought of the right words

I could have held on to your heart

If only I'd thought of the right words

I wouldn't be breaking apart

All my pictures of you

Looking so long at these pictures of you

But I never hold on to your heart

Looking so long for the words to be true

But always just breaking apart

My pictures of you

There was nothing in the world

That I ever wanted more

Than to feel you deep in my heart

There was nothing in the world

That I ever wanted more

Than to never feel the breaking apart

All my pictures of you" - THE CURE

I am finally finding all of my courage to let it all go...

never second best

"moving forward using all my breath -
making love to you was never second best -
I saw the world thrashing all around your face -
never really knowing it was always mesh and lace -
I'll stop the world and melt with you -
you've seen the difference and -
it's getting better all the time -
there's nothing you and I won't do -
I'll stop the world and melt with you -
dream of better lives the kind which never hate -
dropped in the state of imaginary grace -
I made a pilgrimage to save this human race -
never comprehending a race that long gone by -
I'll stop the world and melt with you -
you've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time -
there's nothing you and I won't do -
I'll stop the world and melt with you -
the future's open wide..." - Modern English