HER-story:

With words and images, I am telling my story. Through art, through sculpture, I am remembering HERstory...
CASIMIRA

Tuesday, January 17

balance pleasure against pain


"...and lately I've begun wondering 
if you're trying to tell me something 

we used to talk all night
and do things alone together 

and I've begun

(as a reaction to a feeling)
to balance
the pleasure of loneliness
against the pain
of loving you "

- Nikki Giovanni



Monday, January 16

harsh and exciting


"You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting over and over announcing your place in the family of things."

- Mary Oliver


Sunday, January 15

can you trust me even though you cannot tame me?

"But can you love me in the deep? In the dark? In the thick of it?

Can you love me when I drink from the wrong bottle and slip through the crack in the floorboard?

Can you love me when I’m bigger than you, when my presence blazes like the sun does, when it hurts to look directly at me?

Can you love me then too?

Can you love me under the starry sky, shaved and smooth, my skin like liquid moonlight?

Can you love me when I am howling and furry, standing on my haunches, my lower lip stained with the blood of my last kill?

When I call down the lightning, when the sidewalks are singed by the soles of my feet, can you still love me then?

What happens when I freeze the land, and cause the dirt to harden over all the pomegranate seeds we’ve planted?

Will you trust that Spring will return?

Will you still believe me when I tell you I will become a raging river, and spill myself upon your dreams and call them to the surface of your life?

Can you trust me, even though you cannot tame me?

Can you love me, even though I am all that you fear and admire?

Will you fear my shifting shape?

Does it frighten you, when my eyes flash like your camera does?

Do you fear they will capture your soul?

Are you afraid to step into me?

The meat-eating plants and flowers armed with poisonous darts are not in my jungle to stop you from coming. Not you.

So do not worry. They belong to me, and I have invited you here.

Stay to the path revealed in the moonlight and arrive safely to the hut of Baba Yaga: the wild old wise one… she will not lead you astray if you are pure of heart.

You cannot be with the wild one if you fear the rumbling of the ground, the roar of a cascading river, the startling clap of thunder in the sky.


If you want to be safe, go back to your tiny room — the night sky is not for you.


If you want to be torn apart, come in. Be broken open and devoured. Be set ablaze in my fire.


I will not leave you as you have come: well dressed, in finely-threaded sweaters that keep out the cold.


I will leave you naked and biting. Leave you clawing at the sheets. Leave you surrounded by owls and hawks and flowers that only bloom when no one is watching.


So, come to me, and be healed in the unbearable lightness and darkness of all that you are.


There is nothing in you that can scare me. Nothing in you I will not use to make you great.


A wild woman is not a girlfriend. She is a relationship with nature. She is the source of all your primal desires, and she is the wild whipping wind that uproots the poisonous corn stalks on your neatly tilled farm.


She will plant pear trees in the wake of your disaster.


She will see to it that you shall rise again.


She is the lover who restored you to your own wild nature."

- Alison Nappi


self-portrait from a new series in progress



Saturday, January 14

divine prey


"Why abstain from love when like the beautiful snow goose - someday your soul will leave this summer camp?
Why abstain from happiness, when like a skilled lion your heart is nearing and will someday see the divine prey is always near!"
- my beloved HAFIZ

self-portrait from a new series I am playing with 

Friday, January 13

in sacred manner


Where are you living? 

What are you doing? 

What are your relationships? 

Are you in right relation? 

Where is your water? 

Know our garden. 

It is time to speak your Truth. 

Create your community. 

Be good to each other. 

And do not look outside yourself for the leader. 

This could be a good time! 

There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel like they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly. 

Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off toward the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water. 

See who is there with you and celebrate. 

At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally, least of all ourselves! For the moment we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt. 

The time of the lonely wolf is over. Gather yourselves! 

Banish the word struggle from your attitude and vocabulary. 

All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration. 

We are the ones we have been waiting for. 

The Elders, 
Oraibi, Arizona 
Hopi Nation


Thursday, January 12

full moon messages


On the first full moon of 2017 and on beloved Tia Melba's birthday, I found a piece I created exactly 10 years ago...

detail from mixed media on paper: crystal quartz, silk thread, vintage tulle, vintage gold lame, watercolor, photograph, pen, ink and pencil, circa 2007

Wednesday, January 11

reach for your dreams


she knows what she wants and reaches out for it...

she moves forward with determination...

I am learning so much from my fearless daughter...


recent snapshot of my beloved barefoot ballerina 



Tuesday, January 10

entre sueños y suspiros


mujer con alas de mariposa bailando entre sueños y suspiros, te recuerdo y te siento cerca...

excerpt from journals


Monday, January 9

stay


stay wild

stay sacred

stay playful

stay flexible

stay open


a moment in my day




Sunday, January 8

how things are


"Conserve your energy until the time is right; be observant of your surroundings.

If Owl has silently glided into your life you may need to remove yourself from the noise of life and become the still silent observer. After slowing down and becoming stable you will be amazed by the wealth of information and meaning that surrounds you. It may be bringing you the ability to see what others may miss. Open your eyes and truly examine how things are, you will be surprised that suddenly you can see things that are normally hidden from view – like the motives of those around you. External appearances will give way to the truth and meaning hidden beneath.
Alternatively Owl is often thought to come to those who need to let go of some part of their life that is no longer needed. Listen carefully to that inner voice and be guided to recapture the knowledge of your true path in life. Owl’s senses pierce through shadows, beyond fear and darkness, through to the other side that promises light, happiness and knowledge."
- Spirit Animal Totem 

owls have been appearing to me as messengers this year 


Saturday, January 7

baptized with sacred snowfall


Close family came together from near and far to celebrate a special day. The lovely church was still aglow with the magic of Christmas. The dear bishop conducted the ancient ritual with wisdom, sweetness, wonder, joy and humor. Baby wore an antique linen and lace gown, a family heirloom. Mother Earth baptized us with sacred snowfall...

excerpt from my journal


Friday, January 6

con tus virtudes, con todos tus errores


"Te extraño -

como se extrañan las noches sin estrellas, 
como se extrañan las mañanas bellas, 
no estar contigo, por Dios que me hace daño.

Te extraño - 

cuando camino, cuando lloro, cuando río, 
cuando el sol brilla, cuando hace mucho frío, 
porque te siento como algo muy mío.

Te extraño - 

como los árboles extrañan el otoño, 
en esas noches que no concilio el sueño, 
no te imaginas Amor, cómo te extraño.

Te extraño - 

en cada paso que siento solitario, 
cada momento que estoy viviendo a diario, 
estoy muriendo Amor porque te extraño.

Te extraño - 

cuando la aurora comienza a dar colores, 
con tus virtudes, con todos tus errores, 
por lo que quieras no sé, pero te extraño..."

- Armando Manzanero 

detail from mixed media on canvas, work in progress 2017


Thursday, January 5

te invento a veces con mi vanidad


"Tengo la convicción de que no existes
y sin embargo te oigo cada noche

te invento a veces con mi vanidad
o mi desolación o mi modorra

del infinito mar viene tu asombro
lo escucho como un salmo y pese a todo

tan convencido estoy de que no existes
que te aguardo en mi sueño para luego."

- Mario Benedetti

detail from mixed media on canvas, 2013

Wednesday, January 4

a fearless mother


"The fastest way to break the cycle of perfectionism and become a fearless mother is to give up the idea of doing it perfectly - indeed to embrace uncertainty and imperfection."

- Arianna Huffington
snapshot: my mother and I received similar gifts over the holidays, Papaya (mine) and Chanel (hers)...








Tuesday, January 3

reconnecting to the celebration of life


"As we heal, the Earth Mother feels our joy. We are like cells in and on her body. The power of love, the power of healing, the power of compassion, the power of unity, and the power of knowing are our abilities. These are the gifts our Earth Mother seeks to share with us at this time. Through reconnecting to the celebration of life we are able to let go of our grief and fear. When we Walk in Beauty, we acknowledge every aspect of the Self. The Power Places of our planet are those that have seen the joy of our Earth Mother when her children have grown toward wholeness, celebrating life."
- Jamie Sams

snapshot - a recent selfie with my baby girl 


Monday, January 2

undercurrents


women, goddesses, candlelight and owls...

"The owl has been worshipped and hated throughout the world, but always it intrigues and fascinates. It is the epitome of mystery, magic, vision, and guidance.  It is also one of the most ancient signs for spirit contact. The owl is the silent guide, teaching us to trust our instincts and silent impressions, especially in regards to spirit communication. Its appearance now is alerting you to much spirit activity around you.

The owl is also a creature of the night, and night symbolizes the darkness within — the places where great secrets and great treasures are hidden. Spirit is around now to remind you of this and to help you uncover these treasures.
The owl provides guidance through heightening your senses — physically and spiritually. Its eyes are adapted to see the subtlest of movement with the least amount of light. Because of this, when Owl appears, you will hear undercurrents in the voices of others. Owl is telling you that help and guidance are available to you, but it is still up to you to act upon its guidance."
- Ted Andrews
snapshot - detail from a work in progres

Sunday, January 1

anointing Mother Earth


she wears feathers in her hair,

she dances barefoot with a babe at her breast, 

sacred milk drips down and anoints the earth

Mother Earth


selfie 




Saturday, December 31

2016


This year swept me off my feet into wild dances that brought me to my knees in sacred surrender.

I have savored the sweetest moments of motherhood this year which shall remain engraved in my soul.

I carried and birthed a blessed daughter who is already teaching me so much. She is a JOY.

My beloved, angelic children empowered me with the courage to face and slash demons...

Too many "friends" and family members have been absent from my life this past year. I am grateful for their indifference for it has shown me some true colors I have been unwilling to see. I am grateful for the opportunity to practice the art of forgiveness.

am grateful for all of the blessings, especially those which may still be disguised. 

I open my heart, body, mind and soul to the NEW YEAR which I welcome with curiosity...

excerpt from my journal



Friday, December 30

the truth is, my sweetheart


"Nothing can shatter this love. For even if you took another into your arms, the truth is, my sweetheart, you would still be kissing me." - my beloved HAFIZ




Thursday, December 29

the last new moon of 2016


we prayed and set seeds of intention amidst healing sounds, fire, crystals, dance and more...



Wednesday, December 28

Tuesday, December 27

8 months


my darling daughter is eight months old today...

she says "DADA" and simply adores her father...

she loves bananas and sweet potatoes and her new high chair...

she has two bottom teeth that show when she laughs and sings opera...

she devours books, quite literally...

she knows what she wants...

she has the most wonderful wild hair and she leaves her bows on...

she makes me laugh every single day...

she is in love with her older brother...

she is fiercely feminine...

my blessed baby girl...

excerpt from my journal 




Monday, December 26

his gifts


"Are your pants from outer space?
Cuz your butt is out of this world..."

xo xo xo




Sunday, December 25

my elf


a merry little christmas, indeed...

baby's first...


Saturday, December 24

Noche Buena

- vintage snapshot of my grandparents' home -

Tonight families gather to celebrate each other and to honor Christ’s birth.

Those who are far away are missed more than ever.

Those who have passed away are always remembered.

A feast is prepared and enjoyed amidst laughter and song.

At midnight, bells ring to announce La Misa del Gallo, midnight mass with choir and candlelight.
Esta noche es Noche-Buena
Y no es noche de dormir.
– old Spanish verse

Friday, December 23

my lips next to your cheek

- 2013 watercolor from the series titled "A Thousand Kisses Deep" -

"I saw you last night at the gathering,

but could not take you openly in my arms,

so I put my lips next to your cheek,

pretending to talk privately." - RUMI


Thursday, December 22

remembering Gurudev

Sri Gurudev playing with me, circa 1973-1974
His Holiness Sri Swami Satchidananda was born on December 22nd in 1914.  I celebrate beloved Gurudev, today and always...OM Shanti, Shanti, Shanti...




Wednesday, December 21

guides from beyond on the winter solstice


"This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond."

- RUMI

Tuesday, December 20

without apology



"This is your time. Your time to say what you have kept silent. Your time to ask your big questions without apology. Your time to shine like a blazing comet, whether they like it or not. Your time to believe what your heart tells you: that this world could be very different. Your time to live by your rhythms, and teach them to the world. Your time to nurture your village back to health. Your time to show the world what it has been missing. Your time to show the world the other side of itself."
- T.S. Mohr




Monday, December 19

my name doesn't fill your mouth



"I am haunted by the things I miss and the times my name doesn't fill your mouth. I need a word for the way that feels, for all the letters don't seem to say it properly."

- Tyler Knott Gregson