HER-story:

With words and images, I am telling my story. Through art, through sculpture, I am remembering HERstory...
CASIMIRA

Saturday, May 19

another heart whispers back


"Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet." - Plato

mixed media on canvas, circa 2001, in a private collection 

Friday, May 18

times forever frozen still


"...loving can hurt sometimes, but it's the only thing that I know...it is the only thing that makes us feel alive. 

We keep this love in a photograph. We made these memories for ourselves, where our eyes are never closing, hearts are never broken, and times are forever frozen still.

So you can keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans, holding me closer until our eyes meet, you won't ever be alone - wait for me to come home.

Loving can heal. Loving can mend your soul and is the only thing that I know. I swear it will get easier. Remember that with every piece of you, and it's the only thing we take with us when we die.

...I will remember how you kissed me...hearing you whisper..."

- Ed Sheeran

snapshot - ideas, pearls, feathers and crystals on my desk 


Thursday, May 17

no other way than this


"No te amo como si fueras rosa de sal, topacio o flecha de claveles que propagan el fuego:

te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras, secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma.

Te amo como la planta que no florece y lleva dentro de sí, escondida, la luz de aquellas flores, y gracias a tu amor vive oscuro en mi cuerpo el apretado aroma que ascendió de la tierra.

Te amo sin saber cómo, ni cuándo, ni de dónde, te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo:
así te amo porque no sé amar de otra manera, sino así de este modo en que no soy ni eres, tan cerca que tu mano sobre mi pecho es mía, tan cerca que se cierran tus ojos con mi sueño."

- Pablo Neruda

***

"I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz, or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;

thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance, risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; 

so I love you because I know no other way than this:  

where "I" does not exist, nor "you,"
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."

- Pablo Neruda translated by Stephen Tapscott



Wednesday, May 16

Nicaragua


"Yo camino hoy

con el dolor del parto en cada paso

con el vientre rompiéndose

y los pedazos de madre

volando sobre espacios vacíos

yo camino gimiendo

apretando en mis manos los barrotes

apretando los dientes

mordiéndome la lengua

Voy vestida de barro

voy cubierta de piedras y de tiempo

tengo cara de asombros y cabellos de fuego

llevo el dolor del parto en cada paso

siento al hijo que brota de la sangre

siento la piel colgando

tengo las venas en un solo nudo

hay un hijo derramado en la noche."

- Rosario Murillo 




Tuesday, May 15

new moon blessings


what does this new dark moon whisper...

may we remain still enough and allow ourselves to feel and heal...

mixed media on paper from my journals 


Monday, May 14

to truly dance


"You would know the secret of death.

But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?

The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.

If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.

For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.

Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.

Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.

Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?

Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?

And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.

And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.

And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance."

Kahlil Gibran

my beloved Mimi, 15 years ago today you began to truly dance and your love continues to guide and encourage me



Sunday, May 13

mama


my mother has always told me that every single day is a Mother's Day...


Saturday, May 12

hold on to our center


"Often we long for another person because, in an invisible, intangible realm, we're still communicating, still connecting, still seeking resolution...

...there was a time when widows wore weeds for a year; grief was understood, acknowledged, validated. It's not neurotic to grieve a relationship; what's neurotic is when we don't. On some level, no matter how disassociated from our feelings we might be, every relationship brings hope - hope that this might be a safe place, a haven, a rest after all our battles.

When a relationship doesn't work out, for whatever reason, our disappointment is natural. Every intense encounter represents a deep and complicated KARMIC connection. An ending of a relationship is much like a death, and in many cases the sadness is even greater. When someone has died, there has often been completion and understanding that doesn't occur when both people are alive but have separated without higher awareness. Perhaps the one we love is simply on the other side of town now, sleeping with someone else, yet they are really universes away since the resolution we so crave has not occurred. There's no need to pretend this isn't a knife to the heart. It is, and there's nothing to do but cry the tears that gush forth like blood from a wound...

...It takes great courage and personal strength to hold on to our center during times of great hurt. It takes wisdom to understand that our reactiveness only fans the flames of FALSE DRAMA. Love creates a mystical shield around us, protecting us from chaos...TRUTH can never be destroyed."

- Marianne Williamson


Friday, May 11

let the soft animal of your body love


"You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting over and over announcing your place in the family of things."

- Mary Oliver

a small corner of my world 






Thursday, May 10

una mirada entre los dos


"El amor es un bolsa de recuerdos
es un grito, una mirada entre los dos
es un abismo sin final
el esfuerzo de tu manos con las mias
la caricia de un buen beso y sin medida

Es sentirse mas que dos cuando caminas
es gastarse en una boca el corazon...

El amor es asertijo, es el pecado santigual
es la locura de los sexos, el sudor de nuestros huesos
y es un punto de partida en nuestra vida
que nos cega la mirada y nos lastima

Es sentirse mas que dos cuando caminas
es gastarse en una boca el corazon...

El amor es mi extructura, es la palabra
las esquinas de tu boca, la verdad
es pilar que me sostiene cuando siento que estoy solo
cuando tardas y demoras en volver

Cuando tardas y demoras
y hace tiempo que no vuelves
y se retarda nuestro encuentro es mi amor el que soporta
y es mi muro elaborado con heridas
el que inyecta su veneno y asi vivo

Es sentirse mas que dos cuando caminas
es gastarse en una boca el corazon...

El amor es complicado acurrucarlo
cuando decide marcharse del lugar donde aparco
el amor es nuestro punto de partida
es sentirse mas que dos cuando caminas
es tu pierna entre cruzada, que me anima la garganta
y te canto esta cancion

El amor es mi estructura, es la palabra
las esquinas de tu boca, la verdad
es pilar que me sostiene cuando siento que estoy solo
cuando tardas y demoras en volver

El amor es no espantarse a las miradas
es querer vivir el tiempo un poco mas
es pilar que me sostiene, cuando siento que estoy solo
cuando tardas y demoras en volver..."

- PERROZOMPOPO


Wednesday, May 9

trade in those medals


"You are a royal fish trying to wear pants in a country as foreign as land.

Now there's a problem worth discussing.

Your separation from God had ripened. Now fall like a golden fruit into my hand.

All your wounds from craving love exist because of heroic deeds.

Now trade in those medals; that courage will help this world.

One needs to love those they have yet to love to stand near the Friend.

Why be a royal fish trying to wear pants?

Hafiz, what are you talking about? Has something happened to good brilliant mind?" - HAFIZ

detail from mixed media on paper, circa 2007



Tuesday, May 8

grasping the golden light


"What large, dark hands are those at the window
Lifted, grasping the golden light
Which weaves its way through the creeper leaves
       To my heart's delight?

Ah, only the leaves! But in the west,
In the west I see a redness come
Over the evening's burning breast —
       — 'Tis the wound of love goes home!

The woodbine creeps abroad
Calling low to her lover:
The sun-lit flirt who all the day
Has poised above her lips in play
And stolen kisses, shallow and gay
Of pollen, now has gone away
— She woos the moth with her sweet, low word,
And when above her his broad wings hover
Then her bright breast she will uncover
And yield her honey-drop to her lover.

Into the yellow, evening glow
Saunters a man from the farm below,
Leans, and looks in at the low-built shed
Where hangs the swallow's marriage bed.
The bird lies warm against the wall.
She glances quick her startled eyes
Towards him, then she turns away
Her small head, making warm display
Of red upon the throat. His terrors sway
Her out of the nest's warm, busy ball,
Whose plaintive cry is heard as she flies
In one blue stoop from out the sties
Into the evening's empty hall.

Oh, water-hen, beside the rushes
Hide your quaint, unfading blushes,
Still your quick tail, and lie as dead,
Till the distance folds over his ominous tread.

The rabbit presses back her ears,
Turns back her liquid, anguished eyes
And crouches low: then with wild spring
Spurts from the terror of his oncoming
To be choked back, the wire ring
Her frantic effort throttling:
Piteous brown ball of quivering fears!

Ah soon in his large, hard hands she dies,
And swings all loose to the swing of his walk.
Yet calm and kindly are his eyes
And ready to open in brown surprise
Should I not answer to his talk
Or should he my tears surmise.

I hear his hand on the latch, and rise from my chair
Watching the door open: he flashes bare
His strong teeth in a smile, and flashes his eyes
In a smile like triumph upon me; then careless-wise
He flings the rabbit soft on the table board
And comes towards me: ah, the uplifted sword
Of his hand against my bosom, and oh, the broad
Blade of his hand that raises my face to applaud
His coming: he raises up my face to him
And caresses my mouth with his fingers, which still smell grim
Of the rabbit's fur! God, I am caught in a snare!
I know not what fine wire is round my throat,
I only know I let him finger there
My pulse of life, letting him nose like a stoat
Who sniffs with joy before he drinks the blood:
And down his mouth comes to my mouth, and down
His dark bright eyes descend like a fiery hood
Upon my mind: his mouth meets mine, and a flood
Of sweet fire sweeps across me, so I drown
Within him, die, and find death good."

- D. H. Lawrence 

detail from mixed media on canvas, 2017

Monday, May 7

in truth


"Oh soul,
you worry too much.

You have seen your own strength.

You have seen your own beauty.

You have seen your golden wings.

Of anything less,
why do you worry?

You are in truth
the soul, of the soul, of the soul."

- my beloved RUMI

Sunday, May 6

intimate friends


"Like two golden birds perched on the selfsame tree, intimate friends, the ego and the Self dwell in the same body.  The former eats the sweet and sour fruits of the tree of life, while the latter looks on in detachment." - The Mundaka Upanishad

mixed media from my journals 



Saturday, May 5

no fixed agenda


"If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another. The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience. If this sounds too mystical, refer again to the body. Every significant vital sign- body temperature, heart rate, oxygen consumption, hormone level, brain activity, and so on- alters the moment you decide to do anything… decisions are signals telling your body, mind, and environment to move in a certain direction."

- Deepak Chopra


Thursday, May 3

Mimi Lillian


"Walking, I am listening to a deeper way. Suddenly, all my ancestors are behind me. Be still, they say. Watch and listen. You are the result of the love of thousands." - Linda Hogan

be still...
watch...
listen...
words of wisdom...

Thinking of my beloved maternal grandmother, Lillian...my Mimi who is urging me to continue telling my story, to continue writing HERstory, especially now that I have a daughter...

mixed media on paper 

Wednesday, May 2

pretending

- 2013 watercolor from the series titled "A Thousand Kisses Deep" -

"I saw you last night at the gathering,

but could not take you openly in my arms,

so I put my lips next to your cheek,

pretending to talk privately." - RUMI


Tuesday, May 1

levitate

"It's not what you say...it's what you don't say..

There's not an ounce of excitement. 

Not a whisper of a thrill.

This relationship has all the passion of a pair of tit mice.

I want you to get swept away out there. 

I want you to levitate. 

I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a Dervish...

Yeah. Be deliriously happy or at least leave yourself open to be...

I know it's a cornball thing, but love is passion. 

Obsession. 

Someone you can't live without.

I say fall head over heels. 

Find someone you can love like crazy, and who'll love you the same way back. 

How do you find them?

Well, you forget your head and you listen to your heart. 

I'm not hearing any heart. 

Because the truth is, honey, there's no sense living your life without this.

To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven't lived a life at all. But you have to try, because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."

- William Parrish (Meet Joe Black)



Monday, April 30

truths beyond


"The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself." 
- Anais Nin 

mixed media on paper 


Sunday, April 29

trying to keep things tidy


I asked for wisdom and my beloved HAFIZ answered:

"One of the dumbest things you can do is backbite an animal or a human being. 

Reason is: Besides the fact that an animal who is feeling grouchy that day might bite you back...

Whenever you speak ill of any living creature something of their shadow might fall on you.

Some unwanted impressions of theirs could spill on your floor, 

and I imagine you are busy enough trying to keep things tidy."
- HAFIZ

snapshot - endless pearls with vintage silks and signature bronze sculpture




Saturday, April 28

tu


"La persona más próxima a mí
eres tú, a la que sin embargo
no veo desde hace tanto tiempo
más que en sueños."
- Ernesto Cardenal


Friday, April 27

happy to you


two years ago today a fiercely feminine little goddess arrived with eyes wide open...

happy birthday my darling baby girl

"happy to you!" - as you say 


Thursday, April 26

el corazón de poeta


"Tiene la expresión de una flor,
la voz de un pájaro,
y el alma como luna llena,
de un mes de abril...

Tiene en sus palabras calor,
y frío de invierno,
su piel es dura como el árbol,
que azota el viento...

Y tiene el corazón de poeta,
de niño grande y de hombre niño,
capaz de amar con delirio,
capaz de hundirse en la tristeza...

El tiene, el corazón de poeta,
de vagabundo y de mendigo,
y así lo he conocido,
y así me gusta a mi que sea,
que tenga el corazón de poeta...

Tiene la arrogancia del sol,
mirada cándida,
su piel de nieve se hace fuego cerca de mi...


Es amigo y amante fiel,
ve las estrellas,
camina junto a mi soñando,
con cosas bellas...

Y tiene el corazón de poeta,
de niño grande y de hombre niño,
capaz de amar con delirio,
capaz de hundirse en la tristeza...
El tiene, el corazón de poeta,
de vagabundo y de mendigo,
y así lo he conocido
y así me gusta a mi que sea,
que tenga el corazón de poeta..." - JEANETTE



Wednesday, April 25

immune


"Do not take anything personally.

Nothing others do is because of you.

What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.

When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."

- Don Miguel Ruiz


Tuesday, April 24

we shared a moment that will last till the end


"My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yes, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Flying high.
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till t
he end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you." - James Blunt

Monday, April 23

fool for your love


"I'm a fool for that shake in your thighs.

I'm a fool for that sound in your sighs.

I'm a fool for your belly.

I'm a fool for your love.

I want to make this plain.

Oh, I know your faded, 
but stay, don't close your eyes...

Caught in this pool held in your eyes.

Caught like a fool without a line.

We're in a natural spring,

With this gentle sting between us.

Stay, stay open..."

- RHYE

a favorite song and a selfie