HER-story:

With words and images, I am telling my story. Through art, through sculpture, I am remembering HERstory...
CASIMIRA

Sunday, August 20

Papa-Coco


nací siendo la primera nieta de

Antioco Sacasa Sarria

mi Papa-Coco de ojos azules



Papa-Coco quien me contaba cuentos

historias reales

leyendas maravillosas

con guitarra y voz dulce



Papa-Coco siento su mirada en cielos celestes

Papa-Coco escucho sus consejos con amor

ya que siempre nos encontramos en mis sueños


Beloved Grand Father,

How I wish you were still walking this planet, holding your great-grandchildren's hands.

Although, I am certain you are already great friends.

Mi Papa-Coco de mis sueños...

Saturday, August 19

tu párvula boca que siendo tan niña me enseñó a pecar.

- she wears feathers she finds -
- she dreams in watercolor blues -
- 2013 mixed media from my journals -
si tienes un hondo penar
piensa en mí,
si tienes ganas de llorar
 piensa en mí,
ya ves que venero
tu imagen divina, 
tu párvula boca,
que siendo tan niña,
me enseñó a pecar.
piensa en mí
cuando beses,
cuando llores,
también piensa en mí.
cuando quieras
quitarme la vida,
no la quiero para nada,
para nada me sirve sin ti.

- Agustin Lara (1900 - 1970)


Friday, August 18

soul-craving lover


"The way to maintain one's connection to the wild is to ask yourself what it is that you want. This is the sorting of the seed from the dirt. One of the most important discriminations we can make in this matter is the difference between things that beckon to us and things that call from our souls. Nowhere can this be seen more clearly than in the choice of mates and lovers. A lover cannot be chosen a la smorgasbord. A lover has to be chosen from soul-craving. To choose just because something mouthwatering stands before you will never satisfy the hunger of the soul-self. And that is what the intuition is for; it is the direct messenger of the soul."

- Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes


Thursday, August 17

my story - HERstory


"A story is medicine that greases and hoists the pulleys, shows us the way out, down, in and around, cuts for us fine wide doors in previously blank walls, doors which lead us to our own knowing."
- C. Pinkola Estes



Wednesday, August 16

tu sabor


“Te confieso que no tengo un instante sin pensar en ti, que cuanto como y bebo tiene tu sabor, que la vida eres tú a toda hora y en todas partes. Que el gozo supremo de mi corazón sería morirme contigo. -¿Y ahora? - Ahora nada - Me basta con lo que sepas."

- Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Tuesday, August 15

wonder


playful mixed media from one of my older journals...

"Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love...

Don't let yourself die without knowing the wonder of  f*cking  with love..."

- Gabriel Garcia Marquez

I am truly grateful for the wonder...intercourse as consolation seems sad, empty, cold, soul-less and unfulfilling...simply not for me...






Monday, August 14

sacred sweat

- detail from watercolor on paper -
how do you pray?

when do you pray?

do you pray?

Although I have encountered moments of reverence at churches during masses throughout the ceremonies,  my soul's prayers - my connection with the Divine - are more purely and more intensely felt elsewhere.  In nature.  In silence.  In dance.  In painting.  In yoga.  In sculpting.  In lovemaking.  In compassion.  In laughter.  In salty tears. In long embraces.

Today I sweat my prayers...

"To sweat is to pray, to make an offering of your innermost self.  Sweat is holy water, prayer beads, pearls of liquid that release your past.  Sweat is an ancient and universal form of self healing, whether done in the gym, the sauna, or the sweat lodge.  I do it on the dance floor.  The more you dance, the more you sweat.  The more you sweat, the more you pray.  The more you pray, the closer you come to ecstasy." - Gabrielle Roth




Sunday, August 13

gnawing hunger


A corner of my home...a mountain of books, endless pearls, healing crystals, a stone carving found at a flea market decades ago...and the prototype of one of my first books in print...

My home is my studio. 

My home is my temple.

"From as far back as I can remember, I was obsessed by a gnawing hunger for rituals of spirit." 
- Gabrielle Roth

a gnawing hunger...

what do you hunger for?





Saturday, August 12

awareness


"Love springs from awareness.

It is only inasmuch as you see someone as he or she REALLY is here and now and not how they are in your memory or your DESIRE or in your imagination or projection that you can truly love them, otherwise it is not the person that you love but the IDEA that you have formed of this person, or this person as the OBJECT of your DESIRE not as he or she is in themselves.

Therefore the first act of love is to see this person or this object, this reality as it truly is.  And this involves ENORMOUS DISCIPLINE of DROPPING your DESIRES, your PREJUDICES, your MEMORIES, your PROJECTIONS, your selective way of looking, a discipline so great that most people would rather plunge headlong into good actions and service than to SUBMIT to the BURNING FIRE of this ASCETICISM.

When you set out to serve someone whom you have not taken the trouble to see, are you meeting that person's need or your own? So the first ingredient of love is to really see the other.

The second ingredient is equally important to see yourself, to RUTHLESSLY flash the LIGHT of AWARENESS on your motives, your emotions, your needs, your dishonesty, your self-seeking, your TENDENCY to CONTROL and MANIPULATE.  This means calling things by their name, no matter how painful the discovery and the consequences.  If you achieve this kind of awareness of the other and yourself, you will know what love is. For you will have attained a mind and a heart that is alert, vigilant, clear, sensitive, a clarity of perception, a sensitivity that will draw out of you an accurate, appropriate response to every situation at every moment.

Sometimes you will be irresistibly impelled into action, at others you will be held back and restrained. You will sometimes be made to ignore others and sometimes give them the attention they seek. At times you will be gentle and yielding, at others hard, uncompromising, assertive, even violent. For the love that is BORN of SENSITIVITY takes many unexpected forms and it responds not to prefabricated guidelines and principles but to present, concrete reality. When you first experience this kind of sensitivity you are likely to experience TERROR. For all your defenses will be torn down, your dishonesty exposed, the protected wall around you burned.

...If it is love that you truly desire then set out at once on the task of seeing, take it seriously and look at someone you DISLIKE and really see your PREJUDICE. Look at someone you CLING TO or something you cling to and really see the SUFFERING, the FUTILITY, the UNFREEDOM of CLINGING and look long and lovingly at human faces and human behavior..."

- Anthony De Mello

from my early morning meditation

Friday, August 11

spirit


"Be patient.  Respond to every call that excites your spirit.  Ignore those that make you fearful and sad, that degrade you back toward disease and death." - RUMI

Thursday, August 10

get quiet

- do you trust your gut?  I do... -
"Learning to trust your instincts, using your intuitive sense of what's best for you, is paramount for any lasting success. I've trusted the still, small voice of intuition my entire life. And the only time I've made mistakes is when I didn't listen. 

It's really more of a feeling than a voice—a whispery sensation that pulsates just beneath the surface of your being. All animals have it. We're the only creatures that deny and ignore it. 

How many times have you gone against your gut, only to find yourself at odds with the natural flow of things? We all get caught up in the business of doing, and sometimes lose our place in the flow. But the more we can tune in to our intuition, the better off we are. I believe it's how God speaks to us. 

For all the major moves in my life—to Baltimore, to Chicago, to own my show, and to end it—I've trusted my instincts. I take in all the information I can gather. I listen to proposals, ideas, and advice. Then I go with my gut, what my heart feels most strongly. 

And I often tell friends: When you don't know what to do, do nothing. Get quiet so you can hear the still, small voice—your inner GPS guiding you to true North. " - OPRAH




Wednesday, August 9

the powers that speak through dreams


"She shows up just when you need her. She always gives you the support and counsel you need, and never judges you.

She is an amazing psychic advisor: she knows what the future holds for you, and she can tell you what to do and what not to do to avoid something bad or find the right job, or the right home, or the right partner.

She is a...healer who can help you to fix your body before you get sick, and who has the right medicine and nurturing to speed you into healing and recovery...She makes house calls at any time, and she never charges you a cent.

She's fabulous fun and a great traveling companion. She makes you want to get up and dance, and sing, and play. She loves to fly off to exotic places...

She has wonderful energy. An hour in her company gives you a boost for a whole week.

She'll mother you when you, and your beautiful inner child self, need mothering, hold you when you need holding, and give you a shove when you need to jump through a hole in the world.

She knows you better than you know yourself, in your everyday mind. When she holds up a mirror in front of you, you don't notice the blemishes. You see a being of radiant power and possibility, your ancient and shining self. And in that moment of recognition, you begin to remember and live from your soul's purpose, the sacred contract you signed before you came into your present body.

...and you never say thank you, or remember her birthday. You ignore her advice more often than not...You forget the songs you sang together, and those nights of love and beauty...If you find the moon through the smog and city lights, you do not recollect that she flew you there...

If she were a regular friend, she might dump you as a miserable ingrate. This friend is beyond the ordinary, and she has the patience of an angel - but even the patience of angels is not endless. So if you won't take her advice, she might make less of an effort to warn you...Then the magic begins to flicker in your world, and you are more alone than you ever need or want to be.

...dreams require action. We must take action to honor the friend who visits and advises and travels with us in our dreams, but the most important is the one we find in the mirror - when our sight is clear: the ancient and shining self. 

Taking the right action to honor dreams is practical magic of a high order. Real magic is the art of reaching into a deeper reality and bringing gifts from it into the physical world. This is what we do when we honor dreams, and the powers that speak through dreams."
- Robert Moss


Tuesday, August 8

me la como entera


I woke up with this quote on my mind.

"The demon that you can swallow gives you its power, and the greater life's pain, the greater life's reply."
- Joseph Campbell

snapshot of the lion-headed goddess, Sekhmet 




Monday, August 7

full moon lunar eclipse


my exquisite grandmother transitioned on this day years ago...her love and sweetness continue to guide me... 

Estrella Maruca, I promise to publish your story in print one of these days...


Sunday, August 6

simplemente la mano nos damos y despues que murmure la gente

- Frida Kahlo and Chavela Vargas, 2013 mixed media on paper -
"Tomate esta botella conmigo,
y en el ultimo trago nos vamos.


Quiero ver a que sabe tu olvido,
sin poner en mis ojos tus manos.

Esta noche no voy a rogarte,
esta noche te vas de deveras.


Que dificil tratar de olvidarte,
sin que sienta que ya no me quieras...

Nada me han enseñado los años,
siempre caigo en los mismos errores,
otra vez a brindar con extraños,
y a llorar por los mismos dolores...

Tomate esta botella conmigo,
y en el ultimo trago me besas.


Esperamos que no hayan testigos,
por si acaso te diera verguenza.


Si algun dia sin querer tropezamos,
no te agaches ni me hables de frente,
simplemente la mano nos damos,
y despues que murmure la gente..." - Chavela Vargas




Saturday, August 5

si nos tentamos


"Paso que pasa 
rostro que pasabas 
qué más quieres 
te miro 
después me olvidaré 
después y sólo 
solo y después 
seguro que me olvido.
Paso que pasas 
rostro que pasabas 
qué más quieres 
te quiero 
te quiero sólo dos 
o tres minutos 
para quererte más 
no tengo tiempo.
Paso que pasas 
rostro que pasabas 
que más quieres 
ay no 
ay no me tientes 
que si nos tentamos 
no nos podremos olvidar 
adiós."
- Mario Benedetti 



Friday, August 4

words unspoken

- mixed media from a series -

"light reflects from your shadow,
it is more than I thought could exist,
you move through the room,
like breathing was easy,
if someone believed me,

they would be,
as in love with you as I am,
they would be,
as in love with you as I am,
they would be,
as in love with you as I am,
they would be,
in love, love, love...

and everyday,
I'm learning about you,
the things that no one else sees,
and the end comes too soon,
like dreaming of angels,

and leaving without them,

and with words unspoken,
a silent devotion,
I know you know what I mean,
and the end is unknown,
but I think I'm ready,
as long as you're with me,

being
as in love with you as I am
as in love, love, love..." 

- Romy Madley Croft

Thursday, August 3

tu compañía


"¡Amor, cuántos caminos hasta llegar a un beso,
qué soledad errante hasta tu compañía!
Siguen los trenes solos rodando con la lluvia.
No amanece aún la primavera.

Pero tú y yo, amor mío, estamos juntos,
juntos desde la ropa a las raíces,
juntos de otoño, de agua, de caderas,
hasta ser sólo tú, sólo yo juntos.

Pensar que costó tantas piedras que lleva el río,
la desembocadura del agua de Boroa,
pensar que separados por trenes y naciones

tú y yo teníamos que simplemente amarnos,
con todos confundidos, con hombres y mujeres,
con la tierra que implanta y educa los claveles." - Pablo Neruda

detail from 2013 mixed media on canvas in a private collection 

Wednesday, August 2

walking in the rain


"Don't threaten me with love, baby. Let's just go walking in the rain." - Billie Holiday

mixed media on paper


Tuesday, August 1

nine years


In the blink of an eye my baby boy turned nine years old, yet what was the meaning of my life before him? 

I seemed to have all of the time in the world.

I could indulge in uninterrupted sleep and extraordinary lovemaking.

I traveled. I was carefree. I was selfish and self-centered. 

I seemed content, but something - or rather someone - was missing. 

excerpt from my journal 

2009 snapshot of his 1st birthday; it is important for me to mention that all of the surrounding toys were gifts from dear family and friends 


Monday, July 31

all the rest of what I want with you




While doing some research for a series of mixed media, I stumbled upon these inspiring words of wisdom:

"There is something very satisfactory about being in the middle of something."

"...sweetheart, it isn’t lust; it’s all the rest
of what I want with you that scares me..."

"You were the weather in my neighborhood. You were the epic in the episode. You were the year poised on the equinox."

"There are lines of yours I know by heart. There are scents of yours soaked in my skin."

- Marilyn Hacker




Sunday, July 30

messages


I heard my name being whispered.


I looked up.


I read the messages in the clouds,


our secret love language of the skies.


The moon, the sun, the stars, the clouds...


...ours...

snapshots from an afternoon walk






Saturday, July 29

the truth is



"Nothing can shatter this love. For even if you took another into your arms, the truth is, my sweetheart, you would still be kissing me." - HAFIZ




Friday, July 28

imagination and kisses


"There are two ways to reach me: by way of kisses or by way of imagination. But there is a hierarchy: the kisses alone don't work." - Anais Nin 

snapshot: Peruvian feathers, grandmother's pearls, crystals and a rock my son painted blue when he was two...a corner of my world...

Thursday, July 27

loba


"A healthy woman is much like a wolf: robust, chock-full, strong life force, life-giving, territorially aware, inventive, loyal, roving. Yet separation from the wildish nature causes a woman's personality to become meager, thin, ghosty, spectral. We are not meant to be puny with frail hair and inability to leap up, inability to give chase, to birth, to create a life. When women's lives are in stasis, ennui, it is always time for the wildish woman to emerge; it is time for the creating function of the psyche to flood the delta...It means to establish territory, to find one's pack, to be in one's body with certainty and pride regardless of the body's gifts and limitations, to speak and act in one's behalf, to be aware, alert, to draw on the innate feminine powers of intuition and sensing, to come into one's cycles, to find what one belongs to, to rise with dignity, to retain as much consciousness as we can."

- Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

...a beautiful, wild wolf has continued to visit my dreams 

Wednesday, July 26

deep inside


"...but even so, just as he starts to leave, when he notices a bit of dirt under his thumbnail, he stops to scrub it out. Although she has never complained at all about his grubby appearance whenever he came in tired from the digs and sat drinking with her, she might feel differently now that she is going to take him upstairs.

He is glad to see the show again because it gives him time to anticipate and dream, to build up to a private finale. Though he doesn't fool himself. She has to have known for a while how much he thinks of her, and yet, kind as she always was when he told her all his troubles, he knows she has another regular man, more sophisticated, more of her world. As one more time he watches the extraordinary grace with which she dances, all that gauzy fabric whirling around her, his longing has a different quality now that he knows his desire will soon be met...

...But it is not just the mechanics of what she does that impressed him. He has all he longed for now, even what he never quite understood before that he wanted. It is not just that she had made him happy. He is laughing to find himself lighter than air. And she has given him a deeper pleasure, too; as if reaching into the center of who he is, she has mined the gold that was deep inside."
- Susan Griffin

Tuesday, July 25

antes de ser maldita


" Te doy mi alma desnuda, como estatua a la cual ningún cendal escuda. Desnuda con el puro impudor de un fruto, de una estrella o una flor; de todas esas cosas que tienen la infinita serenidad de Eva antes de ser maldita. De todas esas cosas, frutos, astros y rosas, que no sienten vergüenza del sexo sin celajes y a quienes nadie osara fabricarles ropajes. Sin velos, como el cuerpo de una diosa serena ¡que tuviera una intensa blancura de azucena! Desnuda, y toda abierta de par en par ¡por el ansia del amar! "

- Juana de Ibarbourou (1892 – 1929)

Monday, July 24

motherworld


I am on this earth to mother: to nurture, to birth, to heal, to create, to mourn, to play...to dance the sacred, wild dance of motherhood, remembering HERstory...

"Avalon is psychologically a motherworld. It is the shadow of patriarchal consciousness, repressed and thus feared and distorted, as are any contents of the personal or collective unconscious that are denied. It is also the world of the Mother we once lived in if we were cherished in infancy; in growing up, we left this behind. This mother-world is personally prehistoric, before our own specific memories, as matriarchal history is also. Avalon as mother-world also continues to exist, side by side with rational consciousness, to be entered only when we alter consciousness by falling asleep and dreaming, fall in love, or are in a situation in which the veils between the worlds are thinner and we cross over.

...A model for the existence of motherworld and fatherworld exists as right and left brain psychology, in which the dominant left brain is rational, verbal, and linear, while the right brain is nonverbal, nonrational, nonlinear. The function of the right brain is less appreciated but has to do with images, emotional coloration of experiences, and song (if words at all); the right brain is open to alternative realities.

To cross to Avalon is to remember the archetypal Mother, the Goddess in her several forms and many names, to rediscover the feminine mysteries and the sacred in embodied experiences. Avalon exists where divinity dwells in nature and quickens in the pilgrim. Where there is feminine divinity, there is access to Avalon..."
- Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D.

a favorite snapshot from a series 


Sunday, July 23

new moon blessings


the deliciously dark new moon whispers wisdom through dreams...

begin...

trust...

surrender...




Saturday, July 22

your absence


"You've so distracted me,
your absence fans my love.

Don't ask how.

Then you come near.

"Do not...," I say, and
"Do not...," you answer.

Don't ask why
this delights me."

- RUMI

2013 mixed media on paper