HER-story:

With words and images, I am telling my story. Through art, through sculpture, I am remembering HERstory...
CASIMIRA

Sunday, June 16

father's day

- mid-1970s - Rehoboth Beach, Delaware -

The beach holds memories of sand castles and salty smiles. It is where I need to begin telling my story, telling her story...with Father Sun and Mother Moon...

excerpt from my journals

Beloved Dad, I love you beyond words...


Saturday, June 15

to make you feel my love


"When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace,
To make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
And there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet, but I will never do you wrong.

I've known it from the moment that we met, no doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
And I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret.
The winds of change are blowing wild and free,
You ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
To make you feel my love..."
- Bob Dylan 

Friday, June 14

dance me


"Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin -
Dance me through the panic, 'til I'm gathered safely in -
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove -
Dance me to the end of love -

Let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone -
Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon -
Show me slowly what I only know the limits of -
Dance me to the end of love -

Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on -
Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long -
We're both of us beneath our love, we're both of us above -
Dance me to the end of love -

Dance me to the children who are asking to be born -
Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn -
Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn -
Dance me to the end of love -

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin -
Dance me through the panic, 'til I'm gathered safely in -
Touch me with your naked hand or touch me with your glove -
Dance me to the end of love..."

- Leonard Cohen

mixed media

Thursday, June 13

mother courage


"I've been through it all, baby, I'm Mother Courage."

- Elizabeth Taylor (1932-2011)

mixed media on paper


Wednesday, June 12

un amor que te quiera despeinada




"Mereces un amor que te quiera despeinada, con todo y las razones que te levantan de prisa, con todo y los demonios que no te dejan dormir. Mereces un amor que te haga sentir segura, que pueda comerse al mundo si camina de tu mano, que sienta que tus abrazos van perfectos con su piel. Mereces un amor que quiera bailar contigo, que visite el paraíso cada que mira tus ojos, y que no se aburra nunca de leer tus expresiones. Mereces un amor que te escuche cuando cantas, que te apoye en tus ridículos, que respete que eres libre, que te acompañe en tu vuelo, que no le asuste caer. Mereces un amor que se lleve las mentiras, que te traiga la ilusión, el café y la poesía.” 

- Frida Kahlo


Tuesday, June 11

nos vamos

- Frida Kahlo and Chavela Vargas, 2013 mixed media on paper -
"Tomate esta botella conmigo,
y en el ultimo trago nos vamos.


Quiero ver a que sabe tu olvido,
sin poner en mis ojos tus manos.

Esta noche no voy a rogarte,
esta noche te vas de deveras.


Que dificil tratar de olvidarte,
sin que sienta que ya no me quieras...

Nada me han enseñado los años,
siempre caigo en los mismos errores,
otra vez a brindar con extraños,
y a llorar por los mismos dolores...

Tomate esta botella conmigo,
y en el ultimo trago me besas.


Esperamos que no hayan testigos,
por si acaso te diera verguenza.


Si algun dia sin querer tropezamos,
no te agaches ni me hables de frente,
simplemente la mano nos damos,
y despues que murmure la gente..." - Chavela Vargas




Monday, June 10

everything happens simultaneously



“At times I feel as if I had lived all this before and that I have already written these very words, but I know it was not I: it was another woman, who kept her notebooks so that one day I could use them. I write, she wrote, that memory is fragile and the space of a single life is brief, passing so quickly that we never get a chance to see the relationship between events; we cannot gauge the consequences of our acts, and we believe in the fiction of past, present, and future, but it may also be true that everything happens simultaneously. ... That's why my Grandmother Clara wrote in her notebooks, in order to see things in their true dimension and to defy her own poor memory.” 


- Isabel Allende



Sunday, June 9

te pienso


"Porque te tengo y no -
porque te pienso -
porque la noche está de ojos abiertos -
porque la noche pasa y digo amor -
porque has venido a recoger tu imagen -
y eres mejor que todas tus imágenes -

porque eres linda desde el pie hasta el alma -

porque eres buena desde el alma a mi -
porque te escondes dulce en el orgullo -
pequeña y dulce -
corazón coraza -

porque eres mía -
porque no eres mía -
porque te miro y muero -
y peor que muero -
si no te miro amor -
si no te miro - 

porque tu siempre existes dondequiera -
pero existes mejor donde te quiero -
porque tu boca es sangre -
y tienes frío -
tengo que amarte amor -
tengo que amarte -
aunque esta herida duela como dos -
y aunque -
la noche pase y yo te tenga -
y no."

- Mario Benedetti 


Saturday, June 8

te invento a veces con mi vanidad


"Tengo la convicción de que no existes
y sin embargo te oigo cada noche

te invento a veces con mi vanidad
o mi desolación o mi modorra

del infinito mar viene tu asombro
lo escucho como un salmo y pese a todo

tan convencido estoy de que no existes
que te aguardo en mi sueño para luego."

- Mario Benedetti

detail from mixed media on canvas, 2013

Friday, June 7

una migaja entre dos hambres


"Una esperanza un huerto un páramo
una migaja entre dos hambres
el amor es campo minado
un jubileo de la sangre
cáliz y musgo / cruz y sésamo
pobre bisagra entre voraces
el amor es un sueño abierto
un centro con pocas filiales
un todo al borde de la nada
fogata que será ceniza
el amor es una palabra
un pedacito de utopía
es todo eso y mucho menos
y mucho más / es una isla
una borrasca / un lago quieto
sintetizando yo diría
que el amor es una alcachofa
que va perdiendo sus enigmas
hasta que queda una zozobra
una esperanza un fantasmita."
- Mario Benedetti 


Thursday, June 6

hasta llegar a un beso


"¡Amor, cuántos caminos hasta llegar a un beso,
qué soledad errante hasta tu compañía!
Siguen los trenes solos rodando con la lluvia.
No amanece aún la primavera.

Pero tú y yo, amor mío, estamos juntos,
juntos desde la ropa a las raíces,
juntos de otoño, de agua, de caderas,
hasta ser sólo tú, sólo yo juntos.

Pensar que costó tantas piedras que lleva el río,
la desembocadura del agua de Boroa,
pensar que separados por trenes y naciones

tú y yo teníamos que simplemente amarnos,
con todos confundidos, con hombres y mujeres,
con la tierra que implanta y educa los claveles." - Pablo Neruda

detail from 2013 mixed media on canvas in a private collection 

Wednesday, June 5

tengo un amor


"Yo tuve un amor atlántico
y me converti en sirena
y en mi carne morena
sentí el calor
silbando fuerte a mi alrededor
y tuve un amor lunatico
y me converti en planeta
y estuvimos dando vueltas
en un baile silencioso
las estrellas calladas
como nosotros
y ahora tengo un amor
que es un calor
que navega su aire en el viento
que conoce mis buenos momentos, mis males
y el sabor de mis puntos cardinales
yo tuve un amor antártico
y la nieve me esperaba
noche y dia fría, helada
pero a mi no me importaba
porque el hielo conservaba nuestro ardor
y ahora tengo un amor
que es un calor
que navega su aire en el viento
que conoce mis buenos momentos, mis males
y el sabor de mis puntos cardinales..." 

- Ana Torroja



Tuesday, June 4

mal de amores

- 2007 mixed media on paper -

"Es por culpa de una hembra 
que me estoy volviendo loco.
No puedo vivir sin ella,
pero con ella tampoco.


Y si de este mal de amores -
yo me fuera pa' la tumba,
a mi no me mandeis flores,
que como dice esta rumba:


Quise cortar la flor
mas tierna del rosal,
pensando que de amor
no me podria pinchar,
y mientras me pinchaba
me enseño 
una cosa
que una rosa es una rosa es una rosa...

Y cuando abri la mano
y la deje caer
rompieron a sangrar
las llagas en mi piel
y con sus petalos
me las curo mimosa
que una rosa es una rosa es una rosa...


Pero cuanto mas me cura,
al ratito mas me escuece,
porque amar es el empiece
de la palabra amargura.


Una mentira y un credo
por cada espina del tallo
que injertandose en los dedos
una rosa es un rosario..."

- J.M. Cano

amanecí muy Española...olé...
y que ponte los zapatos de tacón y taconea...

I woke up with this song in my mind...
Spanish dreams perhaps...


Monday, June 3

truth


"Oh soul,
you worry too much.

You have seen your own strength.

You have seen your own beauty.

You have seen your golden wings.

Of anything less,
why do you worry?

You are in truth
the soul, of the soul, of the soul."

- my beloved RUMI

Sunday, June 2

more


“I want to see you. 

Know your voice. 

Recognize you when you first come 'round the corner. 

Sense your scent when I come into a room you've just left. 

Know the lift of your heel, the glide of your foot. 

Become familiar with the way you purse your lips then let them part, just the slightest bit, when I lean in to your space and kiss you.

I want to know the joy of how you whisper "more”... 

- RUMI

Saturday, June 1

the way you make love


"There are so many words by Rumi that melt me straightaway into the heart pine floor. This particular line of words is so powerful and free of prediction that first it freezes me, forcing my eyes closed, and then instantly it infuses me with a kind of sweet slow burn that reminds me that I am so alive and so willing to take another chance on another new day. If this line had been spoken at Emmanuel Methodist Church when I was a girl in South Carolina I would not have been bored and scribbling bad poetry in the margins of the church program. I would have been mindful, engrossed, bowed, a devoted girl shepherd — imagining the future.” - Nikky Finney

--  “The way you make love is the way God will be with you." - RUMI --


Friday, May 31

te extraño


"Te extraño -



como se extrañan las noches sin estrellas, 

como se extrañan las mañanas bellas, 

no estar contigo, por Dios que me hace daño.



Te extraño - 

cuando camino, cuando lloro, cuando río, 
cuando el sol brilla, cuando hace mucho frío, 
porque te siento como algo muy mío.

Te extraño - 

como los árboles extrañan el otoño, 
en esas noches que no concilio el sueño, 
no te imaginas Amor, cómo te extraño.

Te extraño - 

en cada paso que siento solitario, 
cada momento que estoy viviendo a diario, 
estoy muriendo Amor porque te extraño.

Te extraño - 

cuando la aurora comienza a dar colores, 
con tus virtudes, con todos tus errores, 
por lo que quieras no sé, pero te extraño..."

- Armando Manzanero 

detail from mixed media on canvas


Thursday, May 30

recuerdos


"Hay almas que tienen
azules luceros,
mañanas marchitas
entre hojas del tiempo,
y castos rincones
que guardan un viejo
rumor de nostalgias
y sueños.
Otras almas tienen
dolientes espectros
de pasiones. Frutas
con gusanos. Ecos
de una voz quemada
que viene de lejos
como una corriente
de sombra. Recuerdos
vacíos de llanto
y migajas de besos.
Mi alma está madura
hace mucho tiempo,
y se desmorona
turbia de misterio.
Piedras juveniles
roídas de ensueño
caen sobre las aguas
de mis pensamientos.
Cada piedra dice:
“¡Dios está muy lejos!”
Federico García Lorca (1898-1936)

Wednesday, May 29

las flores de mayo


"Parece mentira,
Que después de tanto tiempo,
Rotos nuestros lazos,
Sigamos manteniendo la ilusión,
En nuestro aniversario.
La misma mesita,
Que nos ha visto amarrar,
Las manos por debajo,
Cuida que el rincón de siempre,
Permanezca reservado.
Y aunque la historia se acabó,
Hay algo vivo en ese amor,
Que aunque empeñados en soplar,
Hay llamas que ni con el mar.
Las flores de Mayo,
Poco a poco cederán,
A las patas de gallo,
Y nos buscaremos con los ojos,
Por si queda algo.
El siete de Septiembre,
Es nuestro aniversario,
Y no sabremos si besarnos,
En la cara o en los labios.
Y aunque la historia se acabó,
Hay algo vivo en ese amor,
Que aunque empeñados en soplar,
Hay llamas que ni con el mar.
El siete de Septiembre,
Es nuestro aniversario...
- Mecano

Tuesday, May 28

just the thought of you


"The very thought of you
I forget to do
Those little ordinary things
That everyone ought to do
I'm livin' in a kind of a daydream
I'm happy as a queen
And foolish though it may seem
To me that's everything
The mere idea of you
The longing here for you
You'll never know
How slow the moments go
Till I'm near to you
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you,
The very thought of you, my love..."

- as sung by Billie Holiday



Monday, May 27

Queen of Sheba


"Wisdom is
sweeter than honey,
brings more joy
than wine,
illumines
more than the sun,
is more precious
than jewels.

She causes
the ears to hear
and the heart to comprehend.

I love her
like a mother,
and she embraces me
as her own child.

I will follow
her footprints
and she will not cast me away."

- Makeda, Queen of Sheba 



Sunday, May 26

no pido mucho


"Look, I don't ask much, just your hand, to hold it...I need that door you gave me for coming into your world, that little chunk of green sugar, of a lucky ring. Can't you just spare me your hand tonight at the end of a year of hoarse-voiced-owls? You can't for technical reasons. So I weave it in the air, warping each finger, the silky peach of the palm and the back, that country of blue trees. That's how I take it and hold it, as if so much of the world depended on it..."
- Julio Cortázar translated by Stephen Kessler

the original version in Spanish always takes my breath away...

"Mira, no pido mucho, solamente tu mano, tenerla...Necesito esa puerta que me dabas para entrar a tu mundo, ese trocito de azúcar verde, de redondo alegre. No me prestas tu mano en esta noche de fin de año de lechuzas roncas? No puedes, por razones técnicas. Entonces la tramo en aire, urdiendo cada dedo, el durazno sedoso de la palma y el dorso, ese país de azules árboles. Así la tomo y la sostengo, como si de ello dependiera muchísimo del mundo..."
- Julio Cortázar 

Saturday, May 25

never second best


"moving forward using all my breath -
making love to you was never second best -
I saw the world thrashing all around your face -
never really knowing it was always mesh and lace -
I'll stop the world and melt with you -
you've seen the difference and -
it's getting better all the time -
there's nothing you and I won't do -
I'll stop the world and melt with you -
dream of better lives the kind which never hate -
dropped in the state of imaginary grace -
I made a pilgrimage to save this human race -
never comprehending a race that long gone by -
I'll stop the world and melt with you -
you've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time -
there's nothing you and I won't do -
I'll stop the world and melt with you -
the future's open wide..." - Modern English


Friday, May 24

at ease within

"...Many people use alcohol, drugs, sex, food, work, television, or even shopping as anesthetics in an unconscious attempt to remove the basic unease. When this happens, an activity that might be very enjoyable if used in moderation becomes imbued with a compulsive or addictive quality, and all that is ever achieved through it is extremely short-lived symptom relief.

...The best indicator of your level of consciousness is how you deal with life's challenges when they come. Through those challenges, an already unconscious person tends to become more deeply unconscious, and a conscious person more intensely conscious. You can use a challenge to awaken you, or you can allow it to pull you into deeper sleep. The dream of ordinary unconsciousness then turns into a nightmare.

If you cannot be present even in normal circumstances, such as when you are sitting alone in a room, walking in the woods, or listening to someone, then you certainly won't be able to stay conscious when something 'goes wrong' or you are faced with difficult people or situations, with loss or the threat of loss. You will be taken over by a reaction, which ultimately is always some form of fear, and pulled into unconsciousness. Those challenges are your tests. Only the way in which you deal with them will show you and others where you are at - as far as your state of consciousness is concerned, not how long you can sit with your eyes closed or what visions you see.

So it is essential to bring more consciousness into your life in ordinary situations when everything is going relatively smoothly. In this way, you grow in presence power. It generates an energy field in you and around you of a high vibrational frequency. No unconsciousness, no negativity, no discord or violence can enter that field and survive, just as darkness cannot survive in the presence of light.

When you learn to be the witness of your thoughts and emotions, which is an essential part of being present, you may be surprised when you become aware of the background 'static' of ordinary unconsciousness and realize how rarely, if ever, you are truly at ease within yourself. On the level of your thinking, you will find a great deal of resistance in the form of judgement, discontent, and mental projection away from the NOW. On the emotional level, there will be an undercurrent of unease, tension, boredom, or nervousness. Both are aspects of the mind in its habitual resistance mode."
- Eckhart Tolle

Thursday, May 23

silent devotion


"light reflects from your shadow,
it is more than I thought could exist,
you move through the room,
like breathing was easy,
if someone believed me,

they would be,
as in love with you as I am,
they would be,
as in love with you as I am,
they would be,
as in love with you as I am,
they would be,
in love, love, love...

and everyday,
I'm learning about you,
the things that no one else sees,
and the end comes too soon,
like dreaming of angels,

and leaving without them,
and with words unspoken,
a silent devotion,
I know you know what I mean,
and the end is unknown,
but I think I'm ready,
as long as you're with me,

being
as in love with you as I am
as in love, love, love..." 

- Romy Madley Croft

Wednesday, May 22

un rayo que te parte los huesos


"Lo que mucha gente llama amar consiste en elegir una mujer y casarse con ella. La eligen, te lo juro, los he visto. Como si se pudiera elegir en el amor, como si no fuera un rayo que te parte los huesos y te deja estaqueado en la mitad del patio. Vos dirás que la eligen porque la aman, yo creo que es al vesre. A Beatriz no se la elige, a Julieta no se la elige. Vos no elegís la lluvia que te va a calar hasta los huesos cuando salís de un concierto."

- Julio Cortazar


Tuesday, May 21

it might just be fantastic


"Don't get me wrong
If I'm looking kind of dazzled
I see neon lights
Whenever you walk by

Don't get me wrong
If you say hello and I take a ride
Upon a sea where the mystic moon
Is playing havoc with the tide
Don't get me wrong

Don't get me wrong
If I'm acting so distracted
I'm thinking about the fireworks
That go off when you smile

Don't get me wrong
If I split like light refracted
I'm only off to wander
Across a moonlit mile

Once in awhile
Two people meet
Seemingly for no reason
They just pass on the street
Suddenly thunder, showers everywhere
Who can explain the thunder and rain
But there's something in the air

Don't get me wrong
If I come and go like fashion
I might be great tomorrow
But hopeless yesterday

Don't get me wrong
If I fall in the 'mode of passion'
It might be unbelievable
But let's not say so long
It might just be fantastic
Don't get me wrong..." 

- The Pretenders

Monday, May 20

Sunday, May 19

your scent


"I threw my heart to the winds
and followed you.
One day the wind brought me your scent,
my heart swelled in gratitude
and scattered in the wind."

- RUMI



Saturday, May 18

in the deep


"But can you love me in the deep? In the dark? In the thick of it?

Can you love me when I drink from the wrong bottle and slip through the crack in the floorboard?

Can you love me when I’m bigger than you, when my presence blazes like the sun does, when it hurts to look directly at me?

Can you love me then too?

Can you love me under the starry sky, shaved and smooth, my skin like liquid moonlight?

Can you love me when I am howling and furry, standing on my haunches, my lower lip stained with the blood of my last kill?

When I call down the lightning, when the sidewalks are singed by the soles of my feet, can you still love me then?

What happens when I freeze the land, and cause the dirt to harden over all the pomegranate seeds we’ve planted?

Will you trust that Spring will return?

Will you still believe me when I tell you I will become a raging river, and spill myself upon your dreams and call them to the surface of your life?

Can you trust me, even though you cannot tame me?

Can you love me, even though I am all that you fear and admire?

Will you fear my shifting shape?

Does it frighten you, when my eyes flash like your camera does?

Do you fear they will capture your soul?

Are you afraid to step into me?

The meat-eating plants and flowers armed with poisonous darts are not in my jungle to stop you from coming. Not you.

So do not worry. They belong to me, and I have invited you here.

Stay to the path revealed in the moonlight and arrive safely to the hut of Baba Yaga: the wild old wise one… she will not lead you astray if you are pure of heart.

You cannot be with the wild one if you fear the rumbling of the ground, the roar of a cascading river, the startling clap of thunder in the sky.

If you want to be safe, go back to your tiny room — the night sky is not for you.

If you want to be torn apart, come in. Be broken open and devoured. Be set ablaze in my fire.

I will not leave you as you have come: well dressed, in finely-threaded sweaters that keep out the cold.

I will leave you naked and biting. Leave you clawing at the sheets. Leave you surrounded by owls and hawks and flowers that only bloom when no one is watching.

So, come to me, and be healed in the unbearable lightness and darkness of all that you are.

There is nothing in you that can scare me. Nothing in you I will not use to make you great.

A wild woman is not a girlfriend. She is a relationship with nature. She is the source of all your primal desires, and she is the wild whipping wind that uproots the poisonous corn stalks on your neatly tilled farm.

She will plant pear trees in the wake of your disaster.

She will see to it that you shall rise again.

She is the lover who restored you to your own wild nature."

- Alison Nappi


snapshot of my eye