HER-story:

With words and images, I am telling my story. Through art, through sculpture, I am remembering HERstory...
CASIMIRA

Saturday, September 23

un viejo rumor


"Hay almas que tienen
azules luceros,
mañanas marchitas
entre hojas del tiempo,
y castos rincones
que guardan un viejo
rumor de nostalgias
y sueños.

Otras almas tienen
dolientes espectros
de pasiones. Frutas
con gusanos. Ecos
de una voz quemada
que viene de lejos
como una corriente
de sombra. Recuerdos
vacíos de llanto
y migajas de besos.
Mi alma está madura
hace mucho tiempo,
y se desmorona
turbia de misterio.
Piedras juveniles
roídas de ensueño
caen sobre las aguas
de mis pensamientos.
Cada piedra dice:
“¡Dios está muy lejos!”

Federico García Lorca (1898-1936)

Friday, September 22

Autumn Equinox


blessings on this autumn equinox 


detail from 2017 mixed media 

Thursday, September 21

felinas divinas - panteras


my little goddess and I transformed into filtered felines for a few moments on the eve of the Autumn Equinox 


panteras


Wednesday, September 20

dark new moon


" A new moon teaches gradualness and deliberation and how one gives birth to oneself slowly. Patience with small details makes perfect a large work, like the universe." - RUMI

2017 mixed media on paper 

Tuesday, September 19

goddess gifts


I was walking barefoot on the cobblestone streets, heading towards the colonial cathedral.

The goddess appeared with specific messages and gifts:

a golden pen to write

a blue feather to fly

corals, crystals and minerals to sculpt

excerpt from my dreams 


Monday, September 18

amuse me with your touch


"In the early dawn of happiness
you gave me three kisses
so that I would wake up
to this moment of love

I tried to remember in my heart
what I’d dreamt about
during the night
before I became aware 
of this moving 
of life

I found my dreams 
but the moon took me away
It lifted me up to the firmament
and suspended me there
I saw how my heart had fallen
on your path
singing a song

Between my love and my heart
things were happening which
slowly slowly 
made me recall everything 

You amuse me with your touch
although I can’t see your hands.
You have kissed me with tenderness
although I haven’t seen your lips
You are hidden from me.

But it is you who keeps me alive

Perhaps the time will come
when you will tire of kisses
I shall be happy 
even for insults from you
I only ask that you 
keep some attention on me."

- my beloved RUMI


detail from 2017 mixed media on wood



Sunday, September 17

me cuesta tanto olvidarte

- 2013 mixed media from series -
"entre el cielo y el suelo hay algo,
con tendencia a quedarse calvo,
de tanto recordar,
y ese algo que soy yo mismo,
es un cuadro de bifrontismo,
que sólo da una faz,

la cara vista es un anuncio de signal,
la cara oculta es la resulta,
de mi idea genial de echarte,
me cuesta tanto olvidarte,
me cuesta tanto,

olvidar quince mil encantos es
mucha sensatez
y no sé si seré sensato
lo que sé es que me cuesta un rato
hacer las cosas sin querer

y aunque fui yo quien decidió
que ya no más
y no me cansé se jurarte
que no habrá segunda parte
me cuesta tanto olvidarte
me cuesta tanto..." - José M. Cano



Saturday, September 16

tu ausencia

- mixed media on paper -
"Como a todas las muchachas del mundo,
también a Ella,
tejiéronla
con sus sueños,
los hombres que la amaban.

Y yo la amaba.

Pudo ser para otros un rostro
que el Viento del Olvido 
borra a cada instante.
Pudo ser,
pero yo la amaba.

Yo veía las cosas más sencillas
volverse misteriosas
cuando Ella las tocaba.
Porque las estrellas de la noche
¡Ella con su mano las sembraba!

Los días de esmeralda,
los pájaros tranquilos,
los rocíos azules,
¡Ella los creaba!

Yo me emocionaba
con sólo verla pisar la hierba.

¡Ah si tus ojos me miraran todavía!

Esta noche no tendría tanta noche.
Esta noche la lluvia caería sin mojarme.

Porque la lluvia no empapa
a los que se pierden 
en el bosque de sus sueños relucientes,
y sus días no terminan
y son sus noches transparentes.

¿Dónde estás ahora?
¿En qué ciudad,
en qué penumbra,
en cuál bosque
te desconocen las luciérnagas?

Tal vez mientras escribo,
estás en un suburbio,
sola, inerme, abandonada...

¡Abandonada, no!

En tu ausencia
mi corazón todas las tardes muere."


- Manuel Scorza (1928-1983)



Friday, September 15

something within


"We invoke the prayers of our grandmothers, who taught us to pray, 'God make me a blessing.'  Let their spirit guide us as we claim the spirit of old.  There's something within me that holds the reins.  There's something within me that banishes pain.  There's something within me I cannot explain.   But all I know America, there is something within.  There is something within..."
- Myrlie Evers-Williams (b. 1933)

Thursday, September 14

the way he loves me


"How nice, I remember thinking. It will be so much fun to have Barry as a friend. I certainly didn't think we were going to fall in love...

Our relationship was unique from day one and quite unexplainable...I was overwhelmed by the way he loved me...gave into me, trusted me blindly, and loved me unconditionally...Never, ever, even for a second, under any circumstances, has he not been there for me. And that's pretty amazing. 

There was passion between us; love, support, honesty. There was never anything forced between us...the way he loves me is true and unique."

- Diane Von Furstenberg

detail from painted silk, circa 2003 or 2004



Wednesday, September 13

untouched desire



An extract from the diary Maria wrote... :


"Profound desire, true desire is the desire to be close to someone. From that point onwards, things change, the man and the woman come into play, but what happens before - the attraction that brought them together - is impossible to explain. It is untouched desire in its purest state.

When desire is still in this pure state, the man and the woman fall in love with life, they live each moment reverently, consciously, always ready to celebrate the next blessing.

When people feel like this, they are not in a hurry, they do not precipitate events with unthinking actions. They know that the inevitable will happen, that what is real always finds a way of revealing itself. When the moment comes, they do not hesitate, they do not miss an opportunity, they do not let slip a single magic moment, because they respect the importance of each second."

- PAULO COELHO

snapshot selfie

Tuesday, September 12

HERstory


I have been working on several projects, but my priority is cultivating the divine art of motherhood. 

I am completely dedicated to my children.

Why do I feel as if I need to explain this to anyone? 

I homeschool my fourth grader and he is thriving.

I continue to paint.

I continue to design wearable sculpture. Each piece tells a story and no two are exactly alike (my motto since I began on this journey of creation two decades ago).

I continue to write. 

I continue to practice yoga.

I continue to surrender to the sacred dance of life...

snapshot of my daughter playing with some of my bangles 










Monday, September 11

Guillermo Sevilla-Sacasa


mi bello abuelo de colonias y cuentos 

el que me enseño a dibujar 

a jugar con palabras 

a platicar con seguridad

a ser una verdadera pavo-real-la de plumas blancas y plateadas como las de las hadas

siempre impecable y notable

un genio genial y jovial de medallas y honores

el de mis amores

siento su mirada noche y día

escucho sus consejos

segura que nos encontramos en mis sueños



excerpt from my journals 


Sunday, September 10

dancing naked


"She calls to the wildman -
dancing naked by the shores -
of the ocean that she is,

He who speaks with tigers,
whose muscles move with
slow liquid grace.

He who no longer fears 
his darkness, or
the stillness of the earth, or
the sometimes suffocating pull
of her relentless rhythms,
gravities and tides,

He who has made his peace
with Kali and the void,
he who no longer needs
to run or hide
from the sweet source of power 
calling him from deep
inside."
- J. Levy

image - a corner of my desk inspiring ideas for new pieces...


Saturday, September 9

keeping my distance


Book of Secrets:

"There are only three kinds of people in your life: those who leave you alone, those who help you, and those who hurt you. People who leave you alone are dealing with your suffering as a nuisance or inconvenience - they prefer to keep their distance in order to feel better about themselves. Those who help you have the strength and awareness to do more with your suffering than you are able to do by yourself. Those who hurt you want the situation to stay the same because they do not have your well-being at heart. Honestly count how many people in each category you have in your life. This isn't the same as counting friends and family members. Assess others solely as they relate to your difficulties. Having made a realistic count, take the following attitude:

- I will no longer bring my problems to anyone who wants to leave me alone. It's not good for them or me. They don't want to help, so I will not ask them.

- I will share my problems with those who want to help me. I will not reject genuine offers of assistance out of pride, insecurity, or doubt. I will ask these people to join me in my healing and make them a bigger part of my life.

- I will put a distance between myself and those who want to hurt me. I do not have to confront them, guilt-trip them, or make them the cause of my self-pity. But I cannot afford to absorb their toxic effect on me, and if that means keeping my distance, I will."
- Deepak Chopra


I must keep a distance between myself and anyone who does not genuinely have my well-being at heart...

I will not absorb toxic judgements...

I will not have my sacred joy contaminated...


mixed media on paper from a favorite series



Friday, September 8

quite tough


"Don't worry. I'm quite Irish and quite tough."
- Georgia O'Keeffe (1887-1986)

mixed media on paper


Thursday, September 7

he calls me his goddess


"There are only two types of women - goddesses and doormats."
- Pablo Picasso



Wednesday, September 6

succulent soulfulness

- my artwork - my soul's expression -
"People discuss my art and pretend to understand as if it were necessary to understand, when it's simply necessary to love." - Claude Monet

I actually love when someone questions my creations.

I don't always have the answers.  

I create from a place of succulent soulfulness...  

...in complete freedom without the need to please anyone, without the need to explain...

It is the soul that speaks through my artwork and communicates with my collectors.

from my journals



Tuesday, September 5

declaration of love

- what is on your desk? -
From the beginning of my life
I have been looking for your face
but today I have seen it

Today I have seen
the charm, the beauty,
the unfathomable grace
of the face
that I was looking for

Today I have found you
and those who laughed
and scorned me yesterday
are sorry that they were not looking
as I did

I am bewildered by the magnificence
of your beauty
and wish to see you
with a hundred eyes

My heart has burned with passion
and has searched forever
for this wondrous beauty
that I now behold

I am ashamed
to call this love human
and afraid of God
to call it divine

Your fragrant breath
like the morning breeze
has come to the stillness of the garden
You have breathed new life into me
I have become your sunshine
and also your shadow

My soul is screaming in ecstasy
Every fiber of my being
is in love with you

Your effulgence
has lit a fire in my heart
and you have made radiant
for me
the earth and sky

My arrow of love
has arrived at the target
I am in the house of mercy
and my heart
is a place of prayer

- RUMI

I begin my days with poetry and prayer, meditation and yoga...

Monday, September 4

projections


"Do not take anything personally.

Nothing others do is because of you.

What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.

When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."

- Don Miguel Ruiz


Sunday, September 3

silence


"Contain your experience with the Divine so that it does not escape you but rather shapes you. 

Be silent. 

Silence will help you avoid engaging in the games of competition and illusion that regularly seduce us in the outside world. Silence also helps you avoid distraction. It helps focus the busy mind - the mind that always has to be doing something, thinking something, the mind that always has to be otherwise engaged lest it become introspective and allow the soul’s voice to override its own. 

The silence I am describing is a silence that you use to contain the grace you receive when you enter the Castle of your soul. This quality of silence allows you to engage in discernment. 

You carry this silence within you, even when you are with others. It allows you to hold your center amid the chaos of your life; it keeps you clear so that you do not do or say things you will regret or make decisions out of fear. “

- Caroline Myss


Saturday, September 2

decapitating demons


"We have come together to fall apart

The queen of chaos straddles
our corpora callosa

Reins of raw silk weaving our wills
into the corners of the collective mind

There's more to chaos than meets the mind
dialoguing with demons, goddesses
and gods

Wings lying unconscious at our sides
rise and shudder

If chaos were only chaos
we wouldn't sit in the darkness
of new moons choking back howls

If chaos were only chaos
this edge would rise up razor sharp
and take off our heads

Off with our heads!

We'd eat our cake and dance on the crumbs

Oh, God!

If chaos were only chaos
she'd take her spiked heel
and pierce our throats

Ripe verbs would do us all night

Words would fly from our lips like birds
in a formation never seen by humans

If chaos were only chaos
the words wouldn't matter
and the poem would always be there

Always be there

Be there

Be there

We have come together here

We have come together

We have come together to fall apart."

- Jewel Mathieson



the warrior in me has awakened

decapitating demons

slashing fears
through tears

crushing judgements
while dancing and dreaming

the warrior in me

the blessed spiritual warrior in me
manifesting peace




Friday, September 1

Carlos Checa-Velarde


September arrives with my beloved father-in-law's birthday...




Thursday, August 31

consecutive dreams


soñé contigo...

me contabas tus historias,

me decías que querías dejar todo,

viajar lejos,

olvidar todo,

dejar tu cabello crecer y pintar a colores,

soñé contigo...

será otra vida?

la vida de los sueños

será un sueño esta vida?

••••••••

consecutive nights I dream of dreams...

I dream with you...

what messages are you sending me?


excerpt from my dream journal



Wednesday, August 30

to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only


"I would like to watch you sleeping, 
which may not happen.
I would like to watch you, 
sleeping. I would like to sleep 
with you, to enter 
your sleep as its smooth dark wave 
slides over my head

and walk with you through that lucent 
wavering forest of bluegreen leaves 
with its watery sun and three moons 
towards the cave where you must descend, 
towards your worst fear.

I would like to give you the silver 
branch, the small white flower, the one 
word that will protect you 
from the grief at the center 
of your dream, from the grief 
at the center. I would like to follow 
you up the long stairway 
again and become
the boat that would row you back
carefully, a flame
in two cupped hands 
to where your body lies 
beside me, and you enter 
it as easily as breathing in.

I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
and that necessary."
- Margaret Atwood

unnoticed and necessary...
air...breath...yes...to enter your dreams

Tuesday, August 29

es una mosquita muerta


"They're probably watching me. Well, let them. Let them see what kind of a person I am. I'm not even going to swat that fly. I hope they are watching... they'll see. They'll see and they'll know, and they'll say, Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly."
- Psycho, 1960 Hitchcock film

I killed a fly and thought of the saying:

Es una mosquita muerta.

"Mosquita Muerta: is a person who pretends to be innocent, dainty, and weak (hence a dead fly), but they are actually evil backstabbers. Essentially a Spanish version of a - snake in the grass. They are extremely manipulative and will have everyone fooled by their game except for the smart ones. They will usually try to make the ones who don't fall for their game look like bad people while they play the victim." 
- Urban Dictionary 






Monday, August 28

prepared to bleed


Just before our love got lost you said -

"I am as constant as a northern star" and I said, 

"Constantly in the darkness -
Where's that at?...

Oh you are in my blood like holy wine -
You taste so bitter -
And so sweet oh -
I could drink a case of you,
darling and I would -
Still be on my feet -
Oh I would still be on my feet -

Oh I am a lonely painter -
I live in a box of paints -
I'm frightened by the devil -
And I'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid -

I remember that time that you told me, you said -
"Love is touching souls" -
Surely you touched mine 'cause -
Part of you pours out of me -
In these lines from time to time -

Oh you are in my blood like holy wine -
You taste so bitter -
And so sweet oh -
I could drink a case of you darling -
Still I'd be on my feet -
I would still be on my feet -

I met a woman -
She had a mouth like yours, she knew your life -
She knew your devils and your deeds,
and she said -
"Go to him -
stay with him if you can -
But be prepared to bleed..."

- Joni Mitchell (circa 1971)


Sunday, August 27

hold on to our center


"Often we long for another person because, in an invisible, intangible realm, we're still communicating, still connecting, still seeking resolution...

...there was a time when widows wore weeds for a year; grief was understood, acknowledged, validated. It's not neurotic to grieve a relationship; what's neurotic is when we don't. On some level, no matter how disassociated from our feelings we might be, every relationship brings hope - hope that this might be a safe place, a haven, a rest after all our battles.

When a relationship doesn't work out, for whatever reason, our disappointment is natural. Every intense encounter represents a deep and complicated KARMIC connection. An ending of a relationship is much like a death, and in many cases the sadness is even greater. When someone has died, there has often been completion and understanding that doesn't occur when both people are alive but have separated without higher awareness. Perhaps the one we love is simply on the other side of town now, sleeping with someone else, yet they are really universes away since the resolution we so crave has not occurred. There's no need to pretend this isn't a knife to the heart. It is, and there's nothing to do but cry the tears that gush forth like blood from a wound...

...It takes great courage and personal strength to hold on to our center during times of great hurt. It takes wisdom to understand that our reactiveness only fans the flames of FALSE DRAMA. Love creates a mystical shield around us, protecting us from chaos...TRUTH can never be destroyed."
- Marianne Williamson




Saturday, August 26

co-create with the universe


"Aborigines believe that two separate realities exist: that of everyday life, and that of the dreamtime, the timeless realm from which energy beings (the gods) first sung the world into existence. The dreamtime is the domain of song and poetry, of symbols and archetypes; the shamans believe that it's the more important of the two realities, for it births, shapes, and forms the physical world. They'd probably agree with Einstein, who said, 'Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.'

In our own culture, we've come to value our waking reality so much that we've forgotten our power to conceive from the invisible world of the dreamtime and co-create with the universe."
- Alberto Villoldo

from childhood I learned that I could receive messages through dreams...

ideas for my artwork and poetry often originate in vivid, detailed dreams...

Friday, August 25

soy la reina de tus caprichos

el talismán de tu piel me ha dicho -
que soy la reina de tus caprichos,
yo soy el as de los corazones,
que se pasean en tus tentaciones,
el talismán de tu piel me cuenta
que en tu montura caerán las riendas

cuando una noche de amor desesperados
caigamos juntos y enredados
la alfombra y el alrededor, acabaran
desordenados
cuando una noche de amor que yo no dudo
la eternidad venga seguro
tu y yo, el desnudo y el corazón...seremos uno

yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: el talismán de tu piel lo dice,
yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: lo dice el corazón y el fuego de tu piel,
yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: el talismán de tu piel lo dice,
yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: a ver que dices tu

el talismán de tu piel me chiva
que ando descalza de esquina a esquina,
por cada calle que hay en tus sueños,
que soy el mar de todos tus puertos,
el talismán de tu piel me cuenta
que tu destino caerá a mi puerta
 
song lyrics - © ROSANA ARBELO