HER-story:

With words and images, I am telling my story. Through art, through sculpture, I am remembering HERstory...
CASIMIRA

Wednesday, March 22

tus quince mil encantos


"entre el cielo y el suelo hay algo,
con tendencia a quedarse calvo,
de tanto recordar,
y ese algo que soy yo mismo,
es un cuadro de bifrontismo,
que sólo da una faz,

la cara vista es un anuncio de signal,
la cara oculta es la resulta,
de mi idea genial de echarte,
me cuesta tanto olvidarte,
me cuesta tanto,

olvidar quince mil encantos es
mucha sensatez
y no sé si seré sensato
lo que sé es que me cuesta un rato
hacer las cosas sin querer

y aunque fui yo quien decidió
que ya no más
y no me cansé se jurarte
que no habrá segunda parte
me cuesta tanto olvidarte
me cuesta tanto..." - José M. Cano

mixed media from a series


Tuesday, March 21

the way he loves me


"How nice, I remember thinking. It will be so much fun to have Barry as a friend. I certainly didn't think we were going to fall in love...

Our relationship was unique from day one and quite unexplainable...I was overwhelmed by the way he loved me...gave into me, trusted me blindly, and loved me unconditionally...Never, ever, even for a second, under any circumstances, has he not been there for me. And that's pretty amazing. 

There was passion between us; love, support, honesty. There was never anything forced between us...the way he loves me is true and unique."

- Diane Von Furstenberg

detail from painted silk, circa 2003 or 2004



Monday, March 20

equinox


spring blessings...

this image of my beloved little fairy goddess was originally captured on Snapchat by my sister, Christine Sacasa and was then playfully filtered on a smartphone 

it may become part of a little book I am working on...


Sunday, March 19

silence


"Contain your experience with the Divine so that it does not escape you but rather shapes you. 

Be silent. 

Silence will help you avoid engaging in the games of competition and illusion that regularly seduce us in the outside world. Silence also helps you avoid distraction. It helps focus the busy mind - the mind that always has to be doing something, thinking something, the mind that always has to be otherwise engaged lest it become introspective and allow the soul’s voice to override its own. 

The silence I am describing is a silence that you use to contain the grace you receive when you enter the Castle of your soul. This quality of silence allows you to engage in discernment. 

You carry this silence within you, even when you are with others. It allows you to hold your center amid the chaos of your life; it keeps you clear so that you do not do or say things you will regret or make decisions out of fear. “

- Caroline Myss


Saturday, March 18

unexpected


"I don't believe in rules. I think it's the heart that should talk. The first thing about love is that you have to love yourself. No relationship will work unless you do...I wanted to be his friend. I thought he would be a good friend to have. But we were completely taken over by passion, and it was completely, utterly unexpected on both sides. That made it more exciting, because it was so unexpected...Yes, I do believe in soul mates."
- Diane von Fürstenberg

mixed media on paper


Friday, March 17

after a week of sleepless nights


"...Rumor has it that he was so taken with her beautiful eyes that he went out and bought over a hundred pairs of sunglasses for her to wear to cover her eyes whenever she left her house so no one would fall in love the way he did..."

- S. Daniels 

selfie snapshot: after a week of sleepless nights (motherhood)...no make-up, just gargantuan glasses and fun photo filters with my fabulous friend...



Thursday, March 16

no quiero que me bese


I walked upon a melting blanket of white spring snow under a crisp blue sky with my babe. Her little head rested upon my heart. Birds sang messages.

Forgive.

Let go.

Ignore.

The wind howled warnings. 

The woman emerged from the house. She tried to look away, but I was walking straight towards her. I smiled. We both said hello. When I leaned in to embrace her, the woman backed off and said she did not want me to kiss her.    

"No quiero que me bese."

This same woman welcomes kisses on her cheeks from the men she serves and works for. She giggles around these men as if she were being tickled.

"Si, Señor. Si mi Jefe."

Perhaps the woman is suffering from a cold or some contagious disease and did not wish to expose my child to it. She is most certainly suffering.

I wished her well and sent her blessings.

"Cuídese. Bendiciones."

This is not the first time this woman rejects my kindness and genuine affection. What hurts me the most is that she seems to resent and reject my innocent children.

She may have emotional and psychological issues. She may simply dislike me. She is definitely teaching me.

Forgive.

Let go.

Ignore.

Anger rose from my belly as I walked away. Why had I smiled? Why had I leaned in to embrace this hostile, unhappy being? When would I learn my lesson? 

My baby girl looked up at me and gave me a wise, soulful smile. I kissed her and kissed her.

Forgive.

Let go.

Ignore.





Wednesday, March 15

fruta


"Woman is like a fruit which will only yield its fragrance when rubbed by the hands. Take for example the basil: unless it be warmed by the fingers, it emits no perfume. And do you know that unless amber is warmed and manipulated it retains it's aroma within? The same with women: if you do not animate her with frolics and kisses, with nibbling of her thighs and close embraces, you will not obtain what you desire: you will experience no pleasure when she shares your couch and she will feel no affection for you." - Sir Richard Burton, circa 1886

excerpt from a delicious book my Latin Lover gifted me many moons ago

snapshot: watermelon, from a series of fruit 

Tuesday, March 14

tempted

- "Pomegranate Kiss" mixed media on paper circa 2007 -
Eve had the infamous apple

Persephone her pomegranate

...what is your fruit?

your temptation and pleasure?

"I said to my reflection,
let's get out of this place
...memories of it still
keep calling and calling
but forget  it all
I know I will
tempted by the fruit of another
tempted but the truth is discovered
what's been going on
now that you have gone
there's no other...
your body gets much closer
I fumble for the clock
alarmed by the seduction
I wish that it would stop
I bought a novel, some perfume
a fortune all for you
but it's not my conscience
that hates to be untrue
I asked my reflection
tell me what is there to do?
tempted by the fruit of another..." 
- Glenn Tilbrook and Chris Difford


Monday, March 13

los hombres que la amaban


Como a todas las muchachas del mundo,
también a Ella,
tejiéronla 
con sus sueños,
los hombres que la amaban.

Y yo la amaba.

Pudo ser para otros un rostro 
que el Viento del Olvido 
borra a cada instante.
Pudo ser,
pero yo la amaba.

Yo veía las cosas más sencillas
volverse misteriosas
cuando Ella las tocaba.
Porque las estrellas de la noche
¡Ella con su mano las sembraba!

Los días de esmeralda,
los pájaros tranquilos,
los rocíos azules,
¡Ella los creaba!

Yo me emocionaba
con sólo verla pisar la hierba.

¡Ah si tus ojos me miraran todavía!

Esta noche no tendría tanta noche.
Esta noche la lluvia caería sin mojarme.

Porque la lluvia no empapa
a los que se pierden 
en el bosque de sus sueños relucientes,
y sus días no terminan
y son sus noches transparentes.

¿Dónde estás ahora?
¿En qué ciudad,
en qué penumbra,
en cuál bosque
te desconocen las luciérnagas?

Tal vez mientras escribo,
estás en un suburbio,
sola, inerme, abandonada...

¡Abandonada, no!

En tu ausencia
mi corazón todas las tardes muere.


- Manuel Scorza (1928-1983)

Sunday, March 12

intimate friends


"Like two golden birds perched on the selfsame tree, intimate friends, the ego and the Self dwell in the same body.  The former eats the sweet and sour fruits of the tree of life, while the latter looks on in detachment." - The Mundaka Upanishad

mixed media from my journals 



Saturday, March 11

irresistible


"She was so extraordinarily beautiful that I nearly laughed out loud...I fell in love with her at once.  She was like a mirage of beauty of the ages, irresistible, like a pull of gravity.  She has everything I want in a woman." - Richard Burton (1925-1984)

mixed media on paper


Friday, March 10

tell the truth now

- 2013 mixed media on paper -

"Do I move you?  Are you willing?
Do I groove you?  Is it thrilling?
Do I soothe you?  Tell the truth now,
Do I move you?  Are you loose now?
The answer better be - YES, yes...it pleases me.

Are you ready for this action?
Does it give you satisfaction?
Are you hip to what I'm saying?
If you are then let's start swaying.
The answer better be - YES, yes...it pleases me.

When I touch you, do you quiver?
From your head down to your liver?
If you like it let me know it...
Don't be psychic or you'll blow it...
The answer better be - YES, yes...that pleases me."
- Nina Simone


Thursday, March 9

mouth to feet


"When she closed her eyes she felt he had many hands, which touched her everywhere, and many mouths, which passed so swiftly over her, and with a wolf-like sharpness, his teeth sank into her fleshiest parts. Naked now, he lay his full length over her. She enjoyed his weight on her, enjoyed being crushed under his body. She wanted him soldered to her, from mouth to feet. Shivers passed through her body."
- Anais Nin (1903-1977)

detail from 2015 mixed media on canvas 


Wednesday, March 8

fiercely feminine


I celebrate women every single day.

I dedicate my life to remembering HERstory.

I am surrounded by fiercely feminine goddesses.

My grandmothers and their mothers and their mothers.

My mother.

My sister.

My aunts and cousins.

My friends.

My daughter.

I am fiercely and unapologetically feminine and a fearless roaring lioness when it comes to defending those I love.



Tuesday, March 7

Mimi visits my dreams


I dreamed with my grandmother last night. We were in a grand palace. A celebration was taking place. There was music and laughter.

My grandmother wore white and an enormous diamond ring that created rainbows all around her.  People gathered  as if to bathe in the dancing colors and light. 

A blonde woman whom I have never met sat nearby. She wore an ill-fitting white suit that appeared to be from the 1980s. She approached me and whispered:
"Do not ask me questions that make me uncomfortable." She had an exaggerated French accent. I looked down and noticed her worn, black shoes were at least one size too big.

I glanced back at my grandmother who smiled mischievously and winked...

Monday, March 6

pretending

- 2013 watercolor from the series titled "A Thousand Kisses Deep" -

"I saw you last night at the gathering,

but could not take you openly in my arms,

so I put my lips next to your cheek,

pretending to talk privately." - RUMI


Sunday, March 5

mariposas hambrientas


"Me siento morir en ti, atravesado de espacios que crecen, que me comen igual que mariposas hambrientas.

Cierro los ojos y estoy tendido en tu memoria, apenas vivo, con los abiertos labios donde remonta el río del olvido.

Y tu, con delicadas pinzas de paciencia me arrancas los dientes, las pestañas, me desnudas el trébol de la voz, la sombra del deseo, vas abriendo en mi nombre ventanas al espacio y agujeros azules en mi pecho por donde los veranos huyen lamentándose.

Transparente, aguzado, entretejido de aire floto en la duermevela, y todavía digo tu nombre y te despierto acongojada.

Pero te esfuerzas y me olvidas, yo soy apenas la burbuja que te refleja, que destruirás con sólo un parpadeo."
- Julio Cortázar 

   ~~~

"I feel myself dying in you, overtaken by expanding spaces, which feed on me like hungry butterflies. 

I close my eyes and I'm laid out in your memory, barely alive, with my mouth wide open and the river of oblivion rising. 

And you, patiently, with needle-nosed pliers, pull out my teeth, my eyelashes, you strip the clover from my voice, the shade from my desire, you open up windows of space in my name and blue holes in my chest through which the summers rush out in mourning.

Transparent, sharpened, interwoven with air I float in a drowse, and still I say your name and wake you, anguished. 

But you force yourself to forget me, and I'm barely a bubble reflecting you, which you'll burst with the blink of an eye." 
- Julio Cortázar translated by Stephen Kessler 




Saturday, March 4

enter your sleep


"I would like to watch you sleeping, 
which may not happen.
I would like to watch you, 
sleeping. I would like to sleep 
with you, to enter 
your sleep as its smooth dark wave 
slides over my head

and walk with you through that lucent 
wavering forest of bluegreen leaves 
with its watery sun and three moons 
towards the cave where you must descend, 
towards your worst fear.

I would like to give you the silver 
branch, the small white flower, the one 
word that will protect you 
from the grief at the center 
of your dream, from the grief 
at the center. I would like to follow 
you up the long stairway 
again and become
the boat that would row you back
carefully, a flame
in two cupped hands 
to where your body lies 
beside me, and you enter 
it as easily as breathing in.

I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
and that necessary."
- Margaret Atwood

unnoticed and necessary...
air...breath...yes...to enter your dreams

Friday, March 3

more

- mixed media -
“I want to see you. Know your voice. Recognize you when you first come 'round the corner. Sense your scent when I come into a room you've just left. Know the lift of your heel, the glide of your foot. Become familiar with the way you purse your lips then let them part, just the slightest bit, when I lean in to your space and kiss you. I want to know the joy of how you whisper "more”... - RUMI

Thursday, March 2

attuned


"My life is fruitful and abundant. Just as the earth has its cycles and seasons, so, too, our own lives have times of planting, times of growth and times of harvest."


"So much of my frustration comes from my refusal to accept life's seasons as they come to me."


"An adolescent child enters a period of rebellion. This is necessary to full maturation. A project at the midpoint is sprawling and unwieldy. This, too, is necessary. A marriage enters a time of solo growth and trajectories as each partner pursues independent interests. However unsettling, this, too, is healthy."


"Not all seasons lie serene in the sun, yet each has its place. As I ask to be attuned to life's cycles, I feel my anxiety slipping away. I rest in the faith that all is unfolding according to right timing. I am where I should be when I should be. I am alert to the good of every moment."
- Julia Cameron

images: mixed media on paper from a series of work in progress





Wednesday, March 1

fertility


"When a woman feels alone, when the room is full of daemons,” the Nootka tribe tells us, "The Old Woman will be there.” She has come to me over three thousand miles and what does she have to tell me, troubled "by phantoms in the night”? 

Is she really here? 
What is the saving word from so deep in the past. 
From as deep as the ancient root of the redwood, from as deep as the primal bed of the ocean, from as deep as a woman’s heart sprung open again through a hard birth or a hard death? 
Here under the shock of love, I am open to you, Primal Spirit, one with rock and wave, one with survivors of flood and fire, who have rebuilt their homes a million times, who have lost their children and borne them again. 
The words I hear are strength, laughter, endurance. 
Old Woman I meet you deep inside myself. There in the root bed of fertility, world without end, as the legend tells it. 
Under the words you are my silence."
- May Sarton

snapshot of bronze sculpture suspended by pearls

Tuesday, February 28

sueños


soñé contigo...

me contabas tus historias,

me decías que querías dejar todo,

viajar lejos,

olvidar todo,

dejar tu cabello crecer y pintar a colores,

soñé contigo...

será otra vida?

la vida de los sueños

será un sueño esta vida?

••••••••

consecutive nights I dream of dreams...

I dream with you...

what messages are you sending me?


excerpt from my dream journal



Monday, February 27

69 years 10 months


my beloved godmother celebrated 69 years of life today...

my beloved daughter turned 10 months old today...

vintage snapshot, circa 1973 

Sunday, February 26

please don't bring your lips so close

- mixed media on paper -

"All or nothing at all
Half a love never appealed to me
If your heart never could yield to me
Then I'd rather have nothing at all
All or nothing at all
If it's love there is no in between
Why begin, then cry
For something that might have been
No, I rather have nothing at all
But please, don't bring your lips so close to my cheek
Don't smile or I'll be lost beyond recall the kiss in your eyes
The touch of your hand makes me weak
And my heart may grow dizzy and fall
And if I fell under the spell of your call
I would be caught in the undertow
So you see, I've got to say no, no
All or nothing at all..." - Billie Holiday

...if it's love, there is no in between...
Sunday morning with Billie Holiday

Saturday, February 25

en el ultimo trago me besas

- Frida Kahlo and Chavela Vargas, 2013 mixed media on paper -
"Tomate esta botella conmigo,
y en el ultimo trago nos vamos.


Quiero ver a que sabe tu olvido,
sin poner en mis ojos tus manos.

Esta noche no voy a rogarte,
esta noche te vas de deveras.


Que dificil tratar de olvidarte,
sin que sienta que ya no me quieras...

Nada me han enseñado los años,
siempre caigo en los mismos errores,
otra vez a brindar con extraños,
y a llorar por los mismos dolores...

Tomate esta botella conmigo,
y en el ultimo trago me besas.


Esperamos que no hayan testigos,
por si acaso te diera verguenza.


Si algun dia sin querer tropezamos,
no te agaches ni me hables de frente,
simplemente la mano nos damos,
y despues que murmure la gente..." - Chavela Vargas




Friday, February 24

the cure


I don't care if Monday's blue

Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too
Thursday I don't care about you
It's Friday I'm in love

Monday you can fall apart

Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
Thursday doesn't even start
It's Friday I'm in love

Saturday wait

And Sunday always comes too late
But Friday never hesitate...

I don't care if Monday's black

Tuesday, Wednesday heart attack
Thursday never looking back
It's Friday I'm in love

Monday you can hold your head

Tuesday, Wednesday stay in bed
Or Thursday watch the walls instead
It's Friday I'm in love

Saturday wait

And Sunday always comes too late
But Friday never hesitate...

Dressed up to the eyes

It's a wonderful surprise
To see your shoes and your spirits rise
Throwing out your frown
And just smiling at the sound
And as sleek as a shriek
Spinning round and round
Always take a big bite
It's such a gorgeous sight
To see you eat in the middle of the night
You can never get enough
Enough of this stuff
It's Friday
I'm in love

I don't care if Monday's blue

Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too
Thursday I don't care about you
It's Friday, I'm in love

Monday you can fall apart

Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
Thursday doesn't even start
It's Friday I'm in love...

- The Cure


Thursday, February 23

t’es mon amour

Je suis ton pile -
Tu es mon face -
Toi mon nombril -
Et moi ta glace -
Tu es l’envie et moi le geste -
Toi le citron et moi le zeste -
Je suis le thé, tu es la tasse -
Toi la guitare et moi la basse -

Je suis la pluie et tu es mes gouttes -
Tu es le oui et moi le doute -
T’es le bouquet je suis les fleurs -
Tu es l’aorte et moi le coeur -
Toi t’es l’instant moi le bonheur -
Tu es le verre je suis le vin -
Toi tu es l’herbe et moi le joint -
Tu es le vent j’suis la rafale -
Toi la raquette et moi la balle -

T’es le jouet et moi l’enfant -
T’es le vieillard et moi le temps -
Je suis l’iris tu es la pupille -
Je suis l’épice toi la papille -
Toi l’eau qui vient et moi la bouche -
Toi l’aube et moi le ciel qui s’couche -
T’es le vicaire et moi l’ivresse -
T’es le mensonge moi la paresse -
T’es le guépard moi la vitesse -
Tu es la main moi la caresse -
Je suis l’enfer de ta pécheresse -

Tu es le ciel moi la terre, hum -
Je suis l’oreille de ta musique -
Je suis le soleil de tes tropiques -
Je suis le tabac de ta pipe -
T’es le plaisir je suis la foudre -
Tu es la gamme et moi la note -
Tu es la flamme moi l’allumette -
T’es la chaleur j’suis la paresse -
T’es la torpeur et moi la sieste -
T’es la fraîcheur et moi l’averse -
Tu es les fesses je suis la chaise -
Tu es bémol et moi j’suis dièse -

T’es le laurel de mon hardy -
T’es le plaisir de mon soupir -
T’es la moustache de mon trotski -
T’es tous les éclats de mon rire -
Tu es le chant de ma sirène -
Tu es le sang et moi la veine -
T’es le jamais de mon toujours -
T’es mon amour t’es mon amour -

Je suis ton pile -
Toi mon face -
Toi mon nombril -
Et moi ta glace -
Tu es l’envie et moi le geste -
T’es le citron et moi le zeste! -
Je suis le thé, tu es la tasse -
Toi la putain et moi la passe -
Tu es la tombée moi l’épitaphe -
Et toi le texte, moi le paragraphe -
Tu es le lapsus et moi la gaffe -

Toi l’élégance et moi la grâce -
Tu es l’effet et moi la cause -
Toi le divan moi la névrose -
Toi l’épine moi la rose -
Tu es la tristesse moi le poète -
Tu es la belle et moi la bête -
Tu es le corps et moi la tête -
Tu es le corps. hummm ! 
T’es le sérieux moi l’insouciance -
Toi le flic moi la balance -
Toi le gibier moi la potence -

Toi l’ennui et moi la transe -
Toi le très peu moi le beaucoup -
Moi le sage et toi le fou -
Tu es l’éclair et moi la poudre -
Toi la paille et moi la poutre -
Tu es le surmoi de mon ça -
C’est toi qu’arrives des mois si ?
Tu es la mère et moi le doute -
Tu es le néant et moi le tout -
Tu es le chant de ma sirène -
Toi tu es le sang et moi la veine -
T’es le jamais de mon toujours -
T’es mon amour t’es mon amour -

- Carla Bruni