HER-story:

With words and images, I am telling my story. Through art, through sculpture, I am remembering HERstory...
CASIMIRA

Friday, July 19

stay


My children help me stay in my magic because they live in the moment and find wonder everywhere.

I paint.
I write.
I dance.
I stretch (yoga).
I laugh.
I play.

how do you stay in your magic baby?



Thursday, July 18

honor deeams


"She shows up just when you need her. She always gives you the support and counsel you need, and never judges you.

She is an amazing psychic advisor: she knows what the future holds for you, and she can tell you what to do and what not to do to avoid something bad or find the right job, or the right home, or the right partner.

She is a...healer who can help you to fix your body before you get sick, and who has the right medicine and nurturing to speed you into healing and recovery...She makes house calls at any time, and she never charges you a cent.

She's fabulous fun and a great traveling companion. She makes you want to get up and dance, and sing, and play. She loves to fly off to exotic places...

She has wonderful energy. An hour in her company gives you a boost for a whole week.

She'll mother you when you, and your beautiful inner child self, need mothering, hold you when you need holding, and give you a shove when you need to jump through a hole in the world.

She knows you better than you know yourself, in your everyday mind. When she holds up a mirror in front of you, you don't notice the blemishes. You see a being of radiant power and possibility, your ancient and shining self. And in that moment of recognition, you begin to remember and live from your soul's purpose, the sacred contract you signed before you came into your present body.

...and you never say thank you, or remember her birthday. You ignore her advice more often than not...You forget the songs you sang together, and those nights of love and beauty...If you find the moon through the smog and city lights, you do not recollect that she flew you there...

If she were a regular friend, she might dump you as a miserable ingrate. This friend is beyond the ordinary, and she has the patience of an angel - but even the patience of angels is not endless. So if you won't take her advice, she might make less of an effort to warn you...Then the magic begins to flicker in your world, and you are more alone than you ever need or want to be.

...dreams require action. We must take action to honor the friend who visits and advises and travels with us in our dreams, but the most important is the one we find in the mirror - when our sight is clear: the ancient and shining self. 

Taking the right action to honor dreams is practical magic of a high order. Real magic is the art of reaching into a deeper reality and bringing gifts from it into the physical world. This is what we do when we honor dreams, and the powers that speak through dreams."
- Robert Moss


Wednesday, July 17

magic


"I think your applause died out, hands red, tired, and stained with the hue of once excited blood. I think you thought I was magic. Did my curtain lift when I forgot to take my bow? I think you thought you saw mirrors hiding in the fog and light. Backstage and alone I will slide off the cape, set down the hat, and bow to the empty seat I thought you were filling. I think you thought I was magic."
- T. Knott Gregson



Tuesday, July 16

soldered


"When she closed her eyes she felt he had many hands, which touched her everywhere, and many mouths, which passed so swiftly over her, and with a wolf-like sharpness, his teeth sank into her fleshiest parts. Naked now, he lay his full length over her. She enjoyed his weight on her, enjoyed being crushed under his body. She wanted him soldered to her, from mouth to feet. Shivers passed through her body."
- Anais Nin (1903-1977)

detail from 2015 mixed media on canvas 


Monday, July 15

kneeling at your feet

"Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow..."

- Sacha Skarbek, sung by James Blunt 



Sunday, July 14

salty smiles

- mid-1970s - Rehoboth Beach, Delaware -

The beach holds memories of sand castles and salty smiles. It is where I need to begin telling my story, telling her story...with Father Sun and Mother Moon...

excerpt from my journals

Happy Birthday Dad, I love you beyond words!


Saturday, July 13

soy la reina de tus caprichos

el talismán de tu piel me ha dicho -
que soy la reina de tus caprichos,
yo soy el as de los corazones,
que se pasean en tus tentaciones,
el talismán de tu piel me cuenta
que en tu montura caerán las riendas

cuando una noche de amor desesperados
caigamos juntos y enredados
la alfombra y el alrededor, acabaran
desordenados
cuando una noche de amor que yo no dudo
la eternidad venga seguro
tu y yo, el desnudo y el corazón...seremos uno

yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: el talismán de tu piel lo dice,
yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: lo dice el corazón y el fuego de tu piel,
yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: el talismán de tu piel lo dice,
yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: a ver que dices tu

el talismán de tu piel me chiva
que ando descalza de esquina a esquina,
por cada calle que hay en tus sueños,
que soy el mar de todos tus puertos,
el talismán de tu piel me cuenta
que tu destino caerá a mi puerta
 
song lyrics - © ROSANA ARBELO

Friday, July 12

tu o nada


"A fuego lento tu mirada -
A fuego lento tú o nada -
Vamos fraguando esta locura -
Con la fuerza de los vientos y calor de la ternura -
Sigue el camino del cortejo -
A fuego lento a fuego viejo -
Sigue avivando nuestra llama -
Con todo lo que te quiero y lo mucho que me amas -
A fuego lento me haces agua -
Contigo tengo el alma enamorada -
Me llenas, me vacías, me desarmas -
Ay ay ay amor cuando me amas -
A fuego lento revoltosas -
Caricias que parecen mariposas -
Se cuelan por debajo de la ropa - 
Y van dejando el sentimiento amor forjado a fuego lento -
A fuego lento mi cintura -
A fuego lento y con lisura -
Vamos tramando este alboroto -
Con la danza de los mares y el sabor del poco a poco -
Sigo el camino del cortejo -
A fuego lento a fuego añejo -
Sigo avivando en nuestra llama -
Tantos días como sueños, tantos sueños que no acaban.."
- Rosana Arbelo

Thursday, July 11

muy lejos


With sparkling blue eyes and an unforgettable voice Antioco plays his guitar and serenades beautiful Maruca...remembering my beloved grandparents, truly Grand Parents on their wedding anniversary...


Bésame, bésame mucho,
Como si fuera esta noche
La última vez.

Bésame, bésame mucho,
Que tengo miedo a perderte
Perderte después.

Quiero tenerte muy cerca,
Mirarme en tus ojos,
Y estar junto a tí.

Piensa que tal vez mañana,
Estaré muy lejos,
Muy lejos de aquí.

Bésame, bésame mucho,
Que tengo miedo a perderte
Perderte después.

- original lyrics by Consuelo Velázquez (1917- 2005)


Wednesday, July 10

it might just be fantastic


"Don't get me wrong
If I'm looking kind of dazzled
I see neon lights
Whenever you walk by

Don't get me wrong
If you say hello and I take a ride
Upon a sea where the mystic moon
Is playing havoc with the tide
Don't get me wrong

Don't get me wrong
If I'm acting so distracted
I'm thinking about the fireworks
That go off when you smile

Don't get me wrong
If I split like light refracted
I'm only off to wander
Across a moonlit mile

Once in awhile
Two people meet
Seemingly for no reason
They just pass on the street
Suddenly thunder, showers everywhere
Who can explain the thunder and rain
But there's something in the air

Don't get me wrong
If I come and go like fashion
I might be great tomorrow
But hopeless yesterday

Don't get me wrong
If I fall in the 'mode of passion'
It might be unbelievable
But let's not say so long
It might just be fantastic
Don't get me wrong..." 

- The Pretenders

Tuesday, July 9

stolen kisses


"What large, dark hands are those at the window
Lifted, grasping the golden light
Which weaves its way through the creeper leaves
       To my heart's delight?

Ah, only the leaves! But in the west,
In the west I see a redness come
Over the evening's burning breast —
       — 'Tis the wound of love goes home!

The woodbine creeps abroad
Calling low to her lover:
The sun-lit flirt who all the day
Has poised above her lips in play
And stolen kisses, shallow and gay
Of pollen, now has gone away
— She woos the moth with her sweet, low word,
And when above her his broad wings hover
Then her bright breast she will uncover
And yield her honey-drop to her lover.

Into the yellow, evening glow
Saunters a man from the farm below,
Leans, and looks in at the low-built shed
Where hangs the swallow's marriage bed.
The bird lies warm against the wall.
She glances quick her startled eyes
Towards him, then she turns away
Her small head, making warm display
Of red upon the throat. His terrors sway
Her out of the nest's warm, busy ball,
Whose plaintive cry is heard as she flies
In one blue stoop from out the sties
Into the evening's empty hall.

Oh, water-hen, beside the rushes
Hide your quaint, unfading blushes,
Still your quick tail, and lie as dead,
Till the distance folds over his ominous tread.

The rabbit presses back her ears,
Turns back her liquid, anguished eyes
And crouches low: then with wild spring
Spurts from the terror of his oncoming
To be choked back, the wire ring
Her frantic effort throttling:
Piteous brown ball of quivering fears!

Ah soon in his large, hard hands she dies,
And swings all loose to the swing of his walk.
Yet calm and kindly are his eyes
And ready to open in brown surprise
Should I not answer to his talk
Or should he my tears surmise.

I hear his hand on the latch, and rise from my chair
Watching the door open: he flashes bare
His strong teeth in a smile, and flashes his eyes
In a smile like triumph upon me; then careless-wise
He flings the rabbit soft on the table board
And comes towards me: ah, the uplifted sword
Of his hand against my bosom, and oh, the broad
Blade of his hand that raises my face to applaud
His coming: he raises up my face to him
And caresses my mouth with his fingers, which still smell grim
Of the rabbit's fur! God, I am caught in a snare!
I know not what fine wire is round my throat,
I only know I let him finger there
My pulse of life, letting him nose like a stoat
Who sniffs with joy before he drinks the blood:
And down his mouth comes to my mouth, and down
His dark bright eyes descend like a fiery hood
Upon my mind: his mouth meets mine, and a flood
Of sweet fire sweeps across me, so I drown
Within him, die, and find death good."

- D. H. Lawrence 

detail from mixed media on canvas, 2017

Monday, July 8

paces with her memories


"In the cage is the lion. She paces with her memories. Her body is a record of her past. As she moves back and forth, one may see it all: the lean frame, the muscular legs, the paw enclosing sharp claws, the astonishing speed of her response. She was born in this garden. She has never in her life stretched those legs. Never darted farther than twenty yards at a time. Only once did she use her claws. Only once did she feel them sink into flesh. And it was her keeper's flesh. Her keeper whom she loves, who feeds her, who would never dream of harming her, who protects her. Who in his mercy forgave her mad attack, saying it was her nature, to be cruel at a whim, to try to kill what she loves...she knows no life outside the garden. She has no notion of anger of what she could have been, or might be. No idea of rebellion. It is only her body that knows of these things, moving her, daily, hourly, back and forth, before the bars of her cage."

- Susan Griffin


Sunday, July 7

how much he thinks of her



"...but even so, just as he starts to leave, when he notices a bit of dirt under his thumbnail, he stops to scrub it out. Although she has never complained at all about his grubby appearance whenever he came in tired from the digs and sat drinking with her, she might feel differently now that she is going to take him upstairs.

He is glad to see the show again because it gives him time to anticipate and dream, to build up to a private finale. Though he doesn't fool himself. She has to have known for a while how much he thinks of her, and yet, kind as she always was when he told her all his troubles, he knows she has another regular man, more sophisticated, more of her world. As one more time he watches the extraordinary grace with which she dances, all that gauzy fabric whirling around her, his longing has a different quality now that he knows his desire will soon be met...

...But it is not just the mechanics of what she does that impressed him. He has all he longed for now, even what he never quite understood before that he wanted. It is not just that she had made him happy. He is laughing to find himself lighter than air. And she has given him a deeper pleasure, too; as if reaching into the center of who he is, she has mined the gold that was deep inside."

- Susan Griffin

Saturday, July 6

miles away


"Every time I think of you -

I always catch my breath 

And I'm still standing here 

And you're miles away 

And I'm wondering why you left

And there's a storm that's raging

Through my frozen heart tonight


I hear your name in certain circles

And it always makes me smile

I spend my time

Thinking about you

And it's almost driving me wild

And there's a heart that's breaking

Down this long distance line tonight


I ain't missing you at all

Since you've been gone away

I ain't missing you

No matter what I might say

There's a message in the wire

And I'm sending you this signal tonight

You don't know

How desperate I've become

And it looks like I'm losing this fight

In your world

I have no meaning

Though I'm trying hard to understand

And it's my heart that's breaking

Down this long distance line tonight


I ain't missing you at all

Since you've been gone away

I ain't missing you

No matter what my friends say

And there's a message that I'm sending out


Like a telegraph to your soul


And if I can't bridge this distance

Stop this heartbreak overload

I ain't missing you at all

Since you've been gone away

I ain't missing you

No matter what my friends say

I ain't missing you

I ain't missing you

I can lie to myself

And there's a storm that's raging

Through my frozen heart tonight


I ain't missing you at all

Since you've been gone away

I ain't missing you

No matter what my friends say

Ain't missing you

I ain't missing you

I ain't missing you

I can lie to myself

Ain't missing you...


No matter what my friends might say

I ain't missing you..."

- John Waite



Friday, July 5

Om Shanthi



"Any time anyone complains of worry, anxiety, depression, fear, hatred, jealousy - whatever it is - let him sit back and analyze the cause. If he is really sincere, he will find out that what he wanted something for himself. Selfish desire causes all the problems. Do things for the sake of others, not for yourself. That is the simple and practical way to find peace."
excerpt from "The Golden Present"
Daily Inspirational Readings by Sri Swami Satchidananda

Beloved Gurudev's wise words...Om Shanthi, Shanthi, Shanthi...


Thursday, July 4

priorities


"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much." 

Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis 

mixed media on paper, 2011

Wednesday, July 3

te gusta presumir


"Hey! 
no vayas presumiendo por ahí 
diciendo que no puedo estar sin ti 
tú qué sabes de mi. 

ya sé que a ti te gusta presumir 
decir a los amigos que sin ti 
ya no puedo vivir. 

no creas que te haces un favor 
cuando hablas a la gente de mi amor 
y te burlas de mi. 

que hay veces que es mejor querer así 
que ser querido y no poder sentir 
lo que siento por ti. 

ya ves 
tú nunca me has querido ya lo ves 
que nunca he sido tuyo ya lo sé 
fue sólo por orgullo ese querer. 

ya ves 
de que te vale ahora presumir 
ahora que no estoy ya junto a ti 
que les dirás de mi ? 

recuerdo que ganabas siempre tú 
que hacías de ese triunfo una virtud 
yo era sombra y tú luz. 

no sé si tú también recordarás 
que siempre que intentaba hacer la paz 
yo era un río en tu mar. 

ahora que ya todo terminó 
que como siempre soy el perdedor 
cuando pienses en mi. 

no creas que te guardo algún rencor 
es siempre más feliz quien más amó 
y ese siempre fui yo..."

 - Julio Iglesias


Tuesday, July 2

to watch you



"I would like to watch you sleeping, 

which may not happen.

I would like to watch you, 

sleeping. I would like to sleep 

with you, to enter 

your sleep as its smooth dark wave 

slides over my head




and walk with you through that lucent 

wavering forest of bluegreen leaves 

with its watery sun and three moons 

towards the cave where you must descend, 

towards your worst fear.




I would like to give you the silver 

branch, the small white flower, the one 

word that will protect you 

from the grief at the center 

of your dream, from the grief 

at the center. I would like to follow 

you up the long stairway 

again and become

the boat that would row you back

carefully, a flame

in two cupped hands 

to where your body lies 

beside me, and you enter 

it as easily as breathing in.




I would like to be the air

that inhabits you for a moment

only. I would like to be that unnoticed

and that necessary."

- Margaret Atwood




unnoticed and necessary...

air...breath...yes...to enter your dreams

Monday, July 1

you force yourself to forget me


"I feel myself dying in you, overtaken by expanding spaces, which feed on me like hungry butterflies.

I close my eyes and I'm laid out in your memory, barely alive, with my mouth wide open and the river of oblivion rising. 

And you, patiently, with needle-nosed pliers, pull out my teeth, my eyelashes, you strip the clover from my voice, the shade from my desire, you open up windows of space in my name and blue holes in my chest through which the summers rush out in mourning.

Transparent, sharpened, interwoven with air I float in a drowse, and still I say your name and wake you, anguished. 

But you force yourself to forget me, and I'm barely a bubble reflecting you, which you'll burst with the blink of an eye." 
- Julio Cortázar translated by Stephen Kessler 


"Me siento morir en ti, atravesado de espacios que crecen, que me comen igual que mariposas hambrientas.

Cierro los ojos y estoy tendido en tu memoria, apenas vivo, con los abiertos labios donde remonta el río del olvido.

Y tu, con delicadas pinzas de paciencia me arrancas los dientes, las pestañas, me desnudas el trébol de la voz, la sombra del deseo, vas abriendo en mi nombre ventanas al espacio y agujeros azules en mi pecho por donde los veranos huyen lamentándose.

Transparente, aguzado, entretejido de aire floto en la duermevela, y todavía digo tu nombre y te despierto acongojada.

Pero te esfuerzas y me olvidas, yo soy apenas la burbuja que te refleja, que destruirás con sólo un parpadeo."
- Julio Cortázar 


Sunday, June 30

running


"...I know now, that I'm way down on your line, but the waiting feel is fine.  So don't treat me like a puppet on a string, cause I know I have to do my thing.  Don't talk to me as if you think I'm dumb...I don't wanna wait in vain for your love...It's me love that you're running from." 
- Bob Marley (1945-1981)

mixed media on paper


Saturday, June 29

pulled by the stars


"I'm awaiting a lover. I have to be rent and pulled apart and live according to the demons and the imagination in me. I'm restless. Things are calling me away. My hair is being pulled by the stars again."
- Anais Nin

a playful moment...my impromptu pillow is a mixed media on canvas...


Friday, June 28

cada día sube una flor a tus labios a buscarme


"Quiero que sepas
una cosa.

Tú sabes cómo es esto:
si miro
la luna de cristal, la rama roja
del lento otoño en mi ventana,
si toco
junto al fuego
la impalpable ceniza
o el arrugado cuerpo de la leña,
todo me lleva a ti,
como si todo lo que existe,
aromas, luz, metales,
fueran pequeños barcos que navegan
hacia las islas tuyas que me aguardan.

Ahora bien,
si poco a poco dejas de quererme
dejaré de quererte poco a poco.

Si de pronto
me olvidas
no me busques,
que ya te habré olvidado.

Si consideras largo y loco
el viento de banderas
que pasa por mi vida
y te decides
a dejarme a la orilla
del corazón en que tengo raíces,
piensa
que en ese día,
a esa hora
levantaré los brazos
y saldrán mis raíces
a buscar otra tierra.

Pero
si cada día,
cada hora
sientes que a mí estás destinada
con dulzura implacable.
Si cada día sube
una flor a tus labios a buscarme,
ay amor mío, ay mía,
en mí todo ese fuego se repite,
en mí nada se apaga ni se olvida,
mi amor se nutre de tu amor, amada,
y mientras vivas estará en tus brazos
sin salir de los míos."

- Pablo Neruda

"I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is: 
if I look 
at the crystal moon, at the red branch 
of the slow autumn at my window, 
if I touch 
near the fire 
the impalpable ash 
or the wrinkled body of the log, 
everything carries me to you, 
as if everything that exists, 
aromas, light, metals, 
were little boats 
that sail 
toward those isles of yours that wait for me. 

Well, now, 
if little by little you stop loving me 
I shall stop loving you little by little. 

If suddenly 
you forget me 
do not look for me, 
for I shall already have forgotten you. 

If you think it long and mad, 
the wind of banners 
that passes through my life, 
and you decide 
to leave me at the shore 
of the heart where I have roots, 
remember 
that on that day, 
at that hour, 
I shall lift my arms 
and my roots will set off 
to seek another land. 

But 
if each day, 
each hour, 
you feel that you are destined for me 
with implacable sweetness, 
if each day a flower 
climbs up to your lips to seek me, 
ah my love, ah my own, 
in me all that fire is repeated, 
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten, 
my love feeds on your love, beloved, 
and as long as you live it will be in your arms 
without leaving mine."

- Pablo Neruda
detail from mixed media on canvas, 2017

Thursday, June 27

esperando


love your soul

you must love your soul

love your soul

I do love your soul

my hair turns blue 

waiting for you 


detail from mixed media on wood, 2017


Wednesday, June 26

my mind off of you


"And so it is just like you said it would be
life goes easy on me
most of the time

and so it is the shorter story
no love, no glory
no hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you...

and so it is just like you said it should be
we'll both forget the breeze
most of the time

and so it is the colder water
the blower's daughter
the pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you...

ooh - did I say that I loathe you?
did I say that I want to leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you...

my mind...my mind...
till I find somebody new."
- Damien Rice