HER-story:

With words and images, I am telling my story. Through art, through sculpture, I am remembering HERstory...
CASIMIRA

Monday, August 20

Papa-Coco


nací siendo la primera nieta de

Antioco Sacasa Sarria

mi Papa-Coco de ojos azules



Papa-Coco quien me contaba cuentos

historias reales

leyendas maravillosas

con guitarra y voz dulce



Papa-Coco siento su mirada en cielos celestes

Papa-Coco escucho sus consejos con amor

ya que siempre nos encontramos en mis sueños


Beloved Grand Father,

How I wish you were still walking this planet, holding your great-grandchildren's hands.

Although, I am certain you are already great friends.

Mi Papa-Coco de mis sueños...

Sunday, August 19

my world of lovers


"...my friends have become strangers and I'm surrounded by enemies, but I'm free as the wind, no longer hurt by those who reproach me.

I'm at home wherever I am, and in the room of lovers I can see with closed eyes the beauty that dances behind the veils, intoxicated with love I too dance the rhythm of this moving world.

I have lost my senses
in my world of lovers."

- RUMI

Saturday, August 18

I offer myself to you again


"You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever. 

I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it..."

- Jane Austen (1775 - 1817)


original photo credits:  Catalina Checa

The original photograph is from a series Catalina Checa took of me on a devastatingly deserted beach one cloudy morning... I cropped and edited the original image...playing with ideas


Friday, August 17

let the soft animal of your body love what it loves


"You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting over and over announcing your place in the family of things."

- Mary Oliver

a small corner of my world 






Thursday, August 16

I know no other way


"No te amo como si fueras rosa de sal, topacio o flecha de claveles que propagan el fuego:

te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras, secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma.

Te amo como la planta que no florece y lleva dentro de sí, escondida, la luz de aquellas flores, y gracias a tu amor vive oscuro en mi cuerpo el apretado aroma que ascendió de la tierra.

Te amo sin saber cómo, ni cuándo, ni de dónde, te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo:
así te amo porque no sé amar de otra manera, sino así de este modo en que no soy ni eres, tan cerca que tu mano sobre mi pecho es mía, tan cerca que se cierran tus ojos con mi sueño."

- Pablo Neruda

***

"I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz, or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;

thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance, risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; 

so I love you because I know no other way than this:  

where "I" does not exist, nor "you,"
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."

- Pablo Neruda translated by Stephen Tapscott

snapshot - bronze sculpture suspended by endless unconventional pearls and vintage silks 



Wednesday, August 15

how nice, so much fun


"How nice, I remember thinking. It will be so much fun to have Barry as a friend. I certainly didn't think we were going to fall in love...

Our relationship was unique from day one and quite unexplainable...I was overwhelmed by the way he loved me...gave into me, trusted me blindly, and loved me unconditionally...Never, ever, even for a second, under any circumstances, has he not been there for me. And that's pretty amazing. 

There was passion between us; love, support, honesty. There was never anything forced between us...the way he loves me is true and unique."

- Diane Von Furstenberg

detail from painted silk, circa 2003 or 2004



Tuesday, August 14

always something there to remind me


"I walk along the city streets you used to walk along with me -

And every step I take reminds me of just how we used to be - 

Well, how can I forget you, girl?

When there is always something there to remind me -

Always something there to remind me -

As shadows fall, I pass a small cafe where we would dance at night -

And I can't help recalling how it felt to kiss and hold you tight -

Well, how can I forget you, girl?

When there is always something there to remind me -

Always something there to remind me -

I was born to love her, and I will never be free -

You'll always be a part of me -

Oh whoa ooh whoa ooh whoa oh -

If you should find you miss the sweet and tender love we used to share -

Just go back to the places where we used to go and I'll be there..."

- as sung by the Naked Eyes

yes, yet another selfie...I am going through a major 80s musical phase and figure my children will treasure these selfies of their MAMA one day 




Monday, August 13

sage


"I see simplicity in the complicated. 

I do great things while they are small.

I can get anywhere from here.


63rd Verse:

Practice nonaction.

Work without doing.

Taste the tasteless.

Magnify the small, increase the few.

Reward the bitterness with care.

See simplicity in the complicated.

Achieve greatness in little things.

Take on difficulties while the are still easy; do great things while they are still small.

The sage does not attempt anything very big, and thus achieves greatness.

If you agree too easily, you will be little trusted; because the sage always confronts difficulties, s(he) never experiences them."

- Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
Living Wisdom of the Tao



Original Photo Credits: Catalina Checa

I have enjoyed playing with these images of myself and the ocean...I am craving saltwater once again...




Sunday, August 12

you standing quiet in the rain


"I've been looking so long at these pictures of you 

That I almost believe that they're real 

I've been living so long with my pictures of you

That I almost believe that the pictures are 

All I can feel

Remembering

You standing quiet in the rain

As I ran to your heart to be near

And we kissed as the sky fell in

Holding you close

How I always held close in your fear

Remembering

You running soft through the night

You were bigger and brighter and whiter than snow

And screamed at the make-believe

Screamed at the sky

And you finally found all your courage

To let it all go

Remembering

You fallen into my arms

Crying for the death of your heart

You were stone white

So delicate

Lost in the cold

You were always so lost in the dark

Remembering

You how you used to be

Slow drowned

You were angels

So much more than everything

Hold for the last time then slip away quietly

Open my eyes

But I never see anything

If only I'd thought of the right words

I could have held on to your heart

If only I'd thought of the right words

I wouldn't be breaking apart

All my pictures of you

Looking so long at these pictures of you

But I never hold on to your heart

Looking so long for the words to be true

But always just breaking apart

My pictures of you

There was nothing in the world

That I ever wanted more

Than to feel you deep in my heart

There was nothing in the world

That I ever wanted more

Than to never feel the breaking apart

All my pictures of you" - THE CURE

I am finally finding all of my courage to let it all go...





Saturday, August 11

oceans


"Rather than fearfully shutting down your sensitivity, dive in deeper into all possible feeling. As you expand, keep only those who are not afraid of oceans."

- Victoria Erickson

detail from mixed media on wood 

Friday, August 10

the touch of your hand


"You must understand though the touch of your hand makes
 my pulse react.

That it's only the thrill of boy meeting girl, opposites attract.

It's physical.

Only logical.

You must try to ignore that it means more than that.
What's love got to do, got to do with it?
What's love but a second hand emotion?
What's love got to do, got to do with it?
Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?
It may seem to you that I'm acting confused when you're close to me.
If I tend to look dazed I've read it someplace, I've got cause to be.
There's a name for it.
There's a phrase that fits.
But whatever the reason you do it for me...
I've been taking on a new direction, but I have to say.
I've been thinking about my own protection; it scares me to feel this way..."
- as sung by Tina
I am in an 80s mood...a dancing mood...
 

Thursday, August 9

staring


"A sky full of stars and he was staring at her."

- ATTICUS 

detail from mixed media on paper 




Wednesday, August 8

shivers, my dear


"When she closed her eyes she felt he had many hands, which touched her everywhere, and many mouths, which passed so swiftly over her, and with a wolf-like sharpness, his teeth sank into her fleshiest parts. Naked now, he lay his full length over her. She enjoyed his weight on her, enjoyed being crushed under his body. She wanted him soldered to her, from mouth to feet. Shivers passed through her body."
- Anais Nin (1903-1977)

detail from 2015 mixed media on canvas 


Tuesday, August 7

Estrella Maruca


The story-poem is about a little star who dreams of becoming a mother...it was written for my beloved Grandmother, in her honor:

Un día, una estrellita muy bonita fue hablar con el Padre Sol, pidiéndole un gran favor. 

- Padre, yo sueño con ser Madre. Quisiera vivir en la tierra para sentir y amar hasta llorar.

--- Estrellita, hija mía, tu lugar es en el cielo, de donde puedes alumbrar y atravez de esa luz, amar.

- O, Padre Sol, te pido que me dejes caminar el mundo. Prometo llevar conmigo el manto de nuestra Madre María, ya que es por Ella que sueño con ser Madre un día.

excerpt from "Estrella Maruca" © 2005

Monday, August 6

kissing Valentino


"six o'clock already,
I was just in the middle of a dream,
I was kissing Valentino,
by a crystal blue Italian stream...

it's just another manic Monday,
I wish it was Sunday,
'cause that's my fun day,
my I don't have to run day,
it's just another manic Monday...

all of the nights,
why did my lover have to pick last night,
to get down...
he tells me in his bedroom voice:
come on honey, let's go make some noise...

time it goes so fast,
when you're having fun...
it's just another manic Monday..." - The Bangles

I am learning to love my early Monday mornings - they hold infinite potential for the week ahead...

Sunday, August 5

enjoy


"I'm very definitely a woman and I enjoy it."

- Marilyn Monroe
(1926 – 1962)
With every year that passes, I enjoy who I am and where I am headed...
Being a woman is a great adventure.
Being a woman is a gift...an honor.

mixed media on paper in a private collection 


Saturday, August 4

the book he gave me


"Lady, i will touch you with my mind.

Touch you and touch you and touch

until you give

me suddenly, a smile, shyly obscene 



(lady i will

touch you with my mind.) Touch

you, that is all,



lightly and you utterly will become

with infinite ease



the poem which i do not write."

- e.e. cummings (1894-1962)


no, those are not typos you see above, but Edward Estlin Cummings' innovative and unconventional writing style in lowercase letters 

snapshot - cover of the book he gave me



Friday, August 3

la diosa


El enano era un galán. Entró al Salón de Escudos como un sultán. Dos tigres, una avestruz y seis jabalíes lo escoltaron a los aposentos de la Diosa Blanca. El enano le traía las mejores Mariposas Maravillas para adornar sus cabellos de plata. 

excerpt from a short story written in 2007

Thursday, August 2

the mere idea


"The very thought of you
I forget to do
Those little ordinary things
That everyone ought to do
I'm livin' in a kind of a daydream
I'm happy as a queen
And foolish though it may seem
To me that's everything
The mere idea of you
The longing here for you
You'll never know
How slow the moments go
Till I'm near to you
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you,
The very thought of you, my love..."

- as sung by Billie Holiday



Wednesday, August 1

ten


celebrating a blessed decade of motherhood...






Tuesday, July 31

still kissing me


"Nothing can shatter this love. For even if you took another into your arms, the truth is, my sweetheart, you would still be kissing me." - my beloved HAFIZ




Monday, July 30

the less I seem to care

mixed media on paper

"What I like best about myself...is my audacity, my courage. The ways I have found to be true to myself without causing too much pain or damage. What I hate so much is my vanity, my need to shine, my need of applause and my sentimentality. I would like to be harder. I cannot make a joke, make fun of anyone, without feeling regrets."- Anaïs Nin (1903-1977)
I love the artist in me who dares with such security...

I love the author in me, birthing new worlds out of dreams and hopes...

I don't use the word "hate" - but I do dislike my need to please others...my need to be loved by all...although the older I get, the less I seem to care...

Sunday, July 29

your scent


"I threw my heart to the winds
and followed you.
One day the wind brought me your scent,
my heart swelled in gratitude
and scattered in the wind."

- RUMI



Saturday, July 28

letting go




"Heartbreak is unpreventable; the natural outcome of caring for people and things over which we have no control, of holding in our affections those who inevitably move beyond our line of sight.

Heartbreak begins the moment we are asked to let go but cannot, in other words, it colors and inhabits and magnifies each and every day; heartbreak is not a visitation, but a path that human beings follow through even the most average life. Heartbreak is an indication of our sincerity: in a love relationship, in a life’s work, in trying to learn a musical instrument, in the attempt to shape a better more generous self. Heartbreak is the beautifully helpless side of love and affection and is just as much an essence and emblem of care as the spiritual athlete’s quick but abstract ability to let go. Heartbreak has its own way of inhabiting time and its own beautiful and trying patience in coming and going.

Heartbreak is how we mature; yet we use the word heartbreak as if it only occurs when things have gone wrong: an unrequited love, a shattered dream, a child lost before their time. Heartbreak, we hope, is something we hope we can avoid; something to guard against, a chasm to be carefully looked for and then walked around; the hope is to find a way to place our feet where the elemental forces of life will keep us in the manner to which we want to be accustomed and which will keep us from the losses that all other human beings have experienced without exception since the beginning of conscious time. But heartbreak may be the very essence of being human, of being on the journey from here to there, and of coming to care deeply for what we find along the way.

…If heartbreak is inevitable and inescapable, it might be asking us to look for it and make friends with it, to see it as our constant and instructive companion, and even perhaps, in the depth of its impact as well as in its hindsight, to see it as its own reward. Heartbreak asks us not to look for an alternative path, because there is no alternative path. It is a deeper introduction to what we love and have loved, an inescapable and often beautiful question, something or someone who has been with us all along, asking us to be ready for the last letting go."

- David Whyte

excerpt  from CONSOLATIONS: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words



Friday, July 27

more


I wanted to stay. 

Even though I missed my king-sized bed.

I wanted more salty kisses by the sea.

I wanted more.

More sunrises and sunsets, rainfalls and rainbows, moonlight and stars.

I want more...




Thursday, July 26

feel alive


"...loving can hurt sometimes, but it's the only thing that I know...it is the only thing that makes us feel alive. 

We keep this love in a photograph. We made these memories for ourselves, where our eyes are never closing, hearts are never broken, and times are forever frozen still.

So you can keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans, holding me closer until our eyes meet, you won't ever be alone - wait for me to come home.

Loving can heal. Loving can mend your soul and is the only thing that I know. I swear it will get easier. Remember that with every piece of you, and it's the only thing we take with us when we die.

...I will remember how you kissed me...hearing you whisper..."

- Ed Sheeran

snapshot - ideas, pearls, feathers and crystals on my desk 


Wednesday, July 25

winds of change are blowing wild and free


"When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace,
To make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
And there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet, but I will never do you wrong.

I've known it from the moment that we met, no doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
And I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret.
The winds of change are blowing wild and free,
You ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
To make you feel my love..."
- Bob Dylan