HER-story:

With words and images, I am telling my story. Through art, through sculpture, I am remembering HERstory...
CASIMIRA

Sunday, December 31

déjame robarte un beso que te enamore


"Son muchos años que pasaron sin decir que y en verdad te quiero pero encuentro formas de engañar mi corazón.

Son muchos años que pasaron sin robarte un beso solo quiero un beso, y por esa boca no me importa ser ladrón.

No puede ser que no he encontrado todavía las palabras y en esa noche no dije nada.

No puede ser que en un segundo me perdí en tu mirada aunque por dentro yo te gritaba.

Déjame robarte un beso que me llegue hasta el alma, como un vallenato de esos viejos que nos gustaban.

Se que sientes mariposas, yo también sentí sus alas.

Déjame robarte un beso que te enamore y tú no te vayas...

Déjame robarte el corazón.

Déjame escribirte una canción.

Déjame que con un beso nos perdamos los dos.

Déjame robarte el corazón.

Déjame subirle a esta canción.

Para que bailemos juntos como nadie bailó.

Déjame robarte un beso que me llegue hasta el alma.

Como un vallenato de esos viejos que nos gustaban.

Se que sientes mariposas, yo también sentí sus alas.

Déjame robarte un beso que te enamore y tú no te vayas.

Yo sé que a ti te gusta que yo te cante así.

Que tú te pones seria pero te hago reír.

Que se que tu me quieres... Por qué tú eres así.

Y cuando estamos juntos ya no se que decir..."

Carlos Vives and Sebastian Yatra

Saturday, December 30

dear sweetheart


"One regret, dear world, that I am determined not to have when I am lying on my deathbed is that I did not kiss you enough...

...Nothing can shatter this love. For even if you took another into your arms, the truth is, my sweetheart, you would still be kissing me."

- my beloved HAFIZ



Friday, December 29

que sepas


“Te confieso que no tengo un instante sin pensar en ti, que cuanto como y bebo tiene tu sabor, que la vida eres tú a toda hora y en todas partes. Que el gozo supremo de mi corazón sería morirme contigo. -¿Y ahora? - Ahora nada - Me basta con lo que sepas."

- Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Thursday, December 28

just like you said


"And so it is just like you said it would be,
Life goes easy on me,
Most of the time,
And so it is the shorter story,
No love, no glory,
No hero in her sky,
I can't take my eyes off you...
And so it is just like you said it should be,
We'll both forget the breeze,
Most of the time,
And so it is the colder water,
The Blower's daughter,
The pupil in denial,
I can't take my eyes off you...
Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to leave it all behind?
I can't take my mind off you...
My mind, my mind,
'Til I find somebody new..."
- Damien Rice

Wednesday, December 27

mountains and sea


"...and what I am to you is not real,
what I am to you, you do not need,
what I am to you is not what you mean to me,
you give me miles and miles of mountains,
and I'll ask for the sea.

don't throw yourself like that,
in front of me.
I kissed your mouth, your back,
is that all you need?
don't drag my love around,
volcanoes melt me down.

...what I give to you is just what I'm going through,
there is nothing new, no, no just another phase of finding,
what I really need is what makes me bleed...

I kissed your mouth,
you do not need me."

- Damien Rice


Tuesday, December 26

cerca


mujer con alas de mariposa bailando entre sueños y suspiros, te recuerdo y te siento cerca...

excerpt from journals


Monday, December 25

December 25th


light and wonder...

truth and beauty...

snapshot from last night, Christmas Eve


Sunday, December 24

Noche Buena

- vintage snapshot of my grandparents' home -

Tonight families gather to celebrate each other and to honor Christ’s birth.

Those who are far away are missed more than ever.

Those who have passed away are always remembered.

A feast is prepared and enjoyed amidst laughter and song.

At midnight, bells ring to announce La Misa del Gallo, midnight mass with choir and candlelight.
Esta noche es Noche-Buena
Y no es noche de dormir.
– old Spanish verse

Saturday, December 23

the path


"Everything that occurs is not only usable and workable but is actually THE PATH itself. We can use everything that happens to us as the means for waking up. We can use everything that occurs - whether it's our conflicting emotions and thoughts or our seemingly outer situation - to show us where we are asleep and how we can wake up completely, utterly, without reservations."

- Pema Chodron



Friday, December 22

beloved Gurudev

Sri Gurudev playing with me, circa 1973-1974
His Holiness Sri Swami Satchidananda was born on December 22nd in 1914.  I celebrate beloved Gurudev, today and always...OM Shanti, Shanti, Shanti...




Thursday, December 21

winter solstice



"Circle round, and I'll tell you a story about when the sun was born again...

It was the middle of winter, and the sun had grown very old.  All year long the sun had worked very hard, rising and setting day after day.  All year long the sun had fed everybody on earth, shining and shining, giving energy to the trees and the flowers and the grasses so they could grow and feed the animals and birds and insects and people...

Night felt sorry for the sun.

"Come to my arms and rest, child." she said. "After all, I am your mother.  You were born out of darkness, billions of years ago, and you will return to me when all things end.  Let me cradle you now, as I shelter every galaxy and star in the universe."

So Night wrapped her great arms around the sun, and the night was very long indeed...

Every time a child said thank you, the sun began to feel a little warmer, a little brighter.  Wrapped safely in the arms of Night, the sun grew younger and younger...For in the long night the sun had rested well and grown young from the songs and the thanks of the children, young as a brand-new baby, born out of Night once more.

"The sun has returned!  The sun is reborn!" the people cried.  And they danced and sang to celebrate the birth of a new day..." 

- STARHAWK

Wednesday, December 20

anoche soñé contigo


soñé contigo...

me contabas tus historias,

me decías que querías dejar todo,

viajar lejos,

olvidar todo,

dejar tu cabello crecer y pintar a colores,

soñé contigo...

será otra vida?

la vida de los sueños

será un sueño esta vida?

••••••••

consecutive nights I dream of dreams...

I dream with you...

what messages are you sending me?


excerpt from my dream journal



Tuesday, December 19

universality and cyclicity


"Arianrhod is a matriarchal Welsh triple moon goddess, both virgin and mother. Famed for her beauty...she has a special love, concern, and responsibility for all life, especially for the green growing things of the earth. One derivation of her name is 'high fruitful mother who turns the wheel of the heavens;' the other is 'silver wheel.' Her name tells us of her role as keeper of the heavens and of the cycles and changes of time. She lives in a castle in the Corona Borealis, where she watches over souls in a purgatory filled with beings awaiting rebirth. 

Arianrhod, keeper of time, giver and nurturer of life, shows us the universality and cyclicity of our lives; she is there to nurture us through the dark night of our soul changes."
- Michael Babcock

image: my journal with a Susan Eleanor Boulet goddess card, a crystal and flowers from a workshop 

Monday, December 18

freedom to create




"The beauty of art is that there are no rules..." - Mia Michaels

no rules to follow

no rules to break

only soul

Sunday, December 17

todo lo que ves es lo que soy

yin and yang, tu y yo

"Yo no se si tu no se si yo
Seguirimos siendo como hoy
No se si despues de amanecer, 
vamos a sentir la misma sed 
Para que pensar y suponer, 
no preguntes cosas que no se... yo no se
No se donde vamos a parar, 
eso ya la piel nos lo dira
Para que jurar y prometer,
algo que no esta en nuestro poder
Yo no se lo que es eterno, 
no me pidas algo que es del tiempo

Yo no se mañana, yo no se mañana,
Si estaremos juntos, si se acaba el mundo
Yo no se si soy para ti, si seras para mi
Si lleguemos a amarnos o a odiarnos
Yo no se mañana, yo no se mañana,
Quien va a estar aqui 

De un cafe pasamos al sofa, 
de un boton a todo lo demas
No pusimos reglas ni reloj, 
aqui estamos solos tu y yo
Todo lo que ves es lo que soy, 
no me pidas mas de lo que doy

Yo no se mañana, yo no se mañana,
Si estaremos juntos, si se acaba el mundo
Yo no se si soy para ti, si seras para mi
Si lleguemos a amarnos o a odiarnos
Yo no se mañana, yo no se mañana,
Quien va a estar aqui

Esta vida es igual a un libro
Cada pagina es, un dia vivido
No tratemos de correr antes de andar
Esta noches estamos vivos
Solo este momento es realidad
Oh no, no, no se

Yo no se mañana

Esta vida es una ruleta que gira sin parar
Yo no se mañana
Yo no se si tu, yo no se si yo, como sera el final
Yo no se mañana
Puede ser peor, o puede ser mejor
Yo no se mañana
Deja que el corazon decida vida mia lo que sentimos

Mañana... yo no se
Yo no se, yo no se mañana
Ahora lo que vivimos es algo realmente lindo,
Quien puede saber lo que pasara mañana 
no hay nada escrito
Yo no se, yo no se mañana
Estamos solo tu y yo
Y los momentos hay que vivirlos... hay que vivirlos

Yo no se mañana, yo no se mañana,
Si estaremos juntos, si se acaba el mundo
Yo no se si soy para ti, si seras para mi
Si lleguemos a amarnos o a odiarnos
Yo no se mañana, yo no se mañana..."
- Luis Enrique

ahora lo que vivimos es algo realmente lindo...
y los momentos hay que vivirlos...hay que vivirlos...
todo que ves es lo que soy, no te pido mas de lo que das...
deja que el corazon decida vida mia lo que sentimos...


Saturday, December 16

POPO


My beloved grandfather, Guillermo Sevilla-Sacasa transitioned to the spirit world twenty years ago. 

My mother is so much like her father...

I love that my children recognize their great-grandfather in photographs and stories. He and my other grandparents continue to be part of my life every single day. 

My nine-year-old seems to have inherited my grandfather's astonishing memory and my one-year-old says "POPO" each time she sees his photographs.

excerpt from my journals 




Friday, December 15

love in a photograph


"...loving can hurt sometimes, but it's the only thing that I know...it is the only thing that makes us feel alive. 

We keep this love in a photograph. We made these memories for ourselves, where our eyes are never closing, hearts are never broken, and times are forever frozen still.

So you can keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans, holding me closer until our eyes meet, you won't ever be alone - wait for me to come home.

Loving can heal. Loving can mend your soul and is the only thing that I know. I swear it will get easier. Remember that with every piece of you, and it's the only thing we take with us when we die.

...I will remember how you kissed me...hearing you whisper..."

- Ed Sheeran

snapshot - ideas, pearls, feathers and crystals on my desk 


Thursday, December 14

alma de mar

- from my journals -
amanecí con ganas de crear,

amanecí con ganas de volar,

vamos a bailar,

vamos a soñar,

amanecí con alma de mar...

--------

awake and wanting to create,

awake and wanting to fly,

let's dance,

let's dream

I am awake with the soul of the sea...


Wednesday, December 13

reconnecting to the celebration of life


"As we heal, the Earth Mother feels our joy. We are like cells in and on her body. The power of love, the power of healing, the power of compassion, the power of unity, and the power of knowing are our abilities. These are the gifts our Earth Mother seeks to share with us at this time. Through reconnecting to the celebration of life we are able to let go of our grief and fear. When we Walk in Beauty, we acknowledge every aspect of the Self. The Power Places of our planet are those that have seen the joy of our Earth Mother when her children have grown toward wholeness, celebrating life."
- Jamie Sams

snapshot - a recent selfie with my baby girl 


Tuesday, December 12

fruta


"Woman is like a fruit which will only yield its fragrance when rubbed by the hands. Take for example the basil: unless it be warmed by the fingers, it emits no perfume. And do you know that unless amber is warmed and manipulated it retains it's aroma within? The same with women: if you do not animate her with frolics and kisses, with nibbling of her thighs and close embraces, you will not obtain what you desire: you will experience no pleasure when she shares your couch and she will feel no affection for you." - Sir Richard Burton, circa 1886

excerpt from a delicious book my Latin Lover gifted me many moons ago

snapshot: watermelon, from a series of fruit 

Monday, December 11

another heart whispers back


"Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet." - Plato

mixed media on canvas, circa 2001, in a private collection 

Sunday, December 10

lovers, tribes and tastes


"We die containing a richness of lovers and tribes, tastes we have swallowed, bodies we have plunged into and swum up as if rivers of wisdom, characters we have climbed into as if trees, fears we have hidden in as if caves. 

I wish for all this to be marked on by body when I am dead. I believe in such cartography - to be marked by nature, not just to label ourselves on a map like the names of rich men and women on buildings. We are communal histories, communal books. We are not owned or monogamous in our taste or experience."

- Michael Ondaatje 

detail from mixed media on canvas


Saturday, December 9

dance me through the panic


"Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin -
Dance me through the panic, 'til I'm gathered safely in -
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove -
Dance me to the end of love -

Let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone -
Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon -
Show me slowly what I only know the limits of -
Dance me to the end of love -

Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on -
Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long -
We're both of us beneath our love, we're both of us above -
Dance me to the end of love -

Dance me to the children who are asking to be born -
Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn -
Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn -
Dance me to the end of love -

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin -
Dance me through the panic, 'til I'm gathered safely in -
Touch me with your naked hand or touch me with your glove -
Dance me to the end of love..."

- Leonard Cohen

mixed media

Friday, December 8

qualities


"You meet another person and there are qualities in that personality which offend you and there are qualities which attract you - some qualities seduce you - some qualities repel you - some qualities sexually excite you - some qualities revolt you - some qualities interest you - some qualities fascinate you - some qualities bore you. It's only when you can see through all that veil...through all your own desires... Beyond Sita walking in the path that you can see beyond all that to where the other being is." - Ram Dass


Thursday, December 7

if she were a regular friend she might dump you as a miserable ingrate


"She shows up just when you need her. She always gives you the support and counsel you need, and never judges you.

She is an amazing psychic advisor: she knows what the future holds for you, and she can tell you what to do and what not to do to avoid something bad or find the right job, or the right home, or the right partner.

She is a...healer who can help you to fix your body before you get sick, and who has the right medicine and nurturing to speed you into healing and recovery...She makes house calls at any time, and she never charges you a cent.

She's fabulous fun and a great traveling companion. She makes you want to get up and dance, and sing, and play. She loves to fly off to exotic places...

She has wonderful energy. An hour in her company gives you a boost for a whole week.

She'll mother you when you, and your beautiful inner child self, need mothering, hold you when you need holding, and give you a shove when you need to jump through a hole in the world.

She knows you better than you know yourself, in your everyday mind. When she holds up a mirror in front of you, you don't notice the blemishes. You see a being of radiant power and possibility, your ancient and shining self. And in that moment of recognition, you begin to remember and live from your soul's purpose, the sacred contract you signed before you came into your present body.

...and you never say thank you, or remember her birthday. You ignore her advice more often than not...You forget the songs you sang together, and those nights of love and beauty...If you find the moon through the smog and city lights, you do not recollect that she flew you there...

If she were a regular friend, she might dump you as a miserable ingrate. This friend is beyond the ordinary, and she has the patience of an angel - but even the patience of angels is not endless. So if you won't take her advice, she might make less of an effort to warn you...Then the magic begins to flicker in your world, and you are more alone than you ever need or want to be.

...dreams require action. We must take action to honor the friend who visits and advises and travels with us in our dreams, but the most important is the one we find in the mirror - when our sight is clear: the ancient and shining self. 

Taking the right action to honor dreams is practical magic of a high order. Real magic is the art of reaching into a deeper reality and bringing gifts from it into the physical world. This is what we do when we honor dreams, and the powers that speak through dreams."
- Robert Moss