CASIMIRA

CASIMIRA
HERstory through ART
With words and images, I am telling my story.

Through art, I am remembering HERstory...

I've been blogging daily since 2007.

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Updated Daily: January 2007 - February 2020

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Thursday, July 31

from friends to lovers

"From the beginning, Paul and I had an advantage: we were good friends before we were lovers. We really liked each other. We could talk to each other, we could tell each other anything without fear of ridicule or rejection. There was trust." - Joanne Woodward 

Wednesday, July 30

you dance inside my chest

"In your light I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art." - my beloved RUMI

Tuesday, July 29

capaz de amar con delirio, capaz de hundirse en la tristeza

- 2013 mixed media -
"Tiene la expresiĂłn de una flor,
la voz de un pájaro,
y el alma como luna llena,
de un mes de abril...

Tiene en sus palabras calor,
y frĂ­o de invierno,
su piel es dura como el árbol,
que azota el viento...

Y tiene el corazĂłn de poeta,
de niño grande y de hombre niño,
capaz de amar con delirio,
capaz de hundirse en la tristeza...

El tiene, el corazĂłn de poeta,
de vagabundo y de mendigo,
y asĂ­ lo he conocido,
y asĂ­ me gusta a mi que sea,
que tenga el corazĂłn de poeta...

Tiene la arrogancia del sol,
mirada cándida,
su piel de nieve se hace fuego cerca de mi...


Es amigo y amante fiel,
ve las estrellas,
camina junto a mi soñando,
con cosas bellas...

Y tiene el corazĂłn de poeta,
de niño grande y de hombre niño,
capaz de amar con delirio,
capaz de hundirse en la tristeza...
El tiene, el corazĂłn de poeta,
de vagabundo y de mendigo,
y asĂ­ lo he conocido
y asĂ­ me gusta a mi que sea,
que tenga el corazĂłn de poeta..." - JEANETTE

Monday, July 28

excuse me while I kiss the sky

He flirted with me all day, sending messages whispered through moving clouds.
I smiled back, but hesitated...
...and finally, upon witnessing his irresistable blues, I gave in and kissed him...again and again.
snapshots from my evening stroll

 



Sunday, July 27

true to myself

- mixed media on paper -
I missed Ziggy last night...

"Life has come a long way since yesterday, I say.
And it's not the same old thing over again, I say.
Just do what you feel and don't you fool yourself, I say.
Cause I can't make you happy unless I am, I say...

I got to be true to myself, got to be true to myself...

Day in, day out I've asked many questions, I say.
Only to find - the truth - it never changes, I say.
If you don't deal with it, it keeps killing you a little by little, I say.
Call me selfish if you will - my life I alone can live, I say...

I got to be true to myself, got to be true to myself...

I don't care if it hurts.  I'm tired of lies and all these games.
I've reached a point in life, no longer can I be this way.
Don't come crying to me - I too have shed my share of tears.
I'm moving on, yes, I'm grooving on, well I'm finally free...

I've got to be true to myself, got to be true to myself..."
- Ziggy Marley



Saturday, July 26

beauty as a hooker on this new moon

- 2013 mixed media on paper -
in between giggles of grace, my beloved HAFIZ whispers to me:

"Knowing how she can benefit us, beauty sometimes acts like a hooker. 
Because she knows if we spend an hour with her we will be better off. 
And beauty is right, she is clever.   
When has looking at the graciousness in nature or in art, or hearing some moving music not softened your face, made your touch more wanted, your voice more rich and alive, and the world more bearable. 
And the sweet taste of hope yours and able to impart." - Hafiz



Friday, July 25

relationships

from The Book of Secrets:

"There are only three kinds of people in your life: those who leave you alone, those who help you, and those who hurt you. People who leave you alone are dealing with your suffering as a nuisance or inconvenience - they prefer to keep their distance in order to feel better about themselves. Those who help you have the strength and awareness to do more with your suffering than you are able to do by yourself. Those who hurt you want the situation to stay the same because they do not have your well-being at heart. Honestly count how many people in each category you have in your life. This isn't the same as counting friends and family members. Assess others solely as they relate to your difficulties. Having made a realistic count, take the following attitude:

- I will no longer bring my problems to anyone who wants to leave me alone. It's not good for them or me. They don't want to help, so I will not ask them.

- I will share my problems with those who want to help me. I will not reject genuine offers of assistance out of pride, insecurity, or doubt. I will ask these people to join me in my healing and make them a bigger part of my life.

- I will put a distance between myself and those who want to hurt me. I do not have to confront them, guilt-trip them, or make them the cause of my self-pity. But I cannot afford to absorb their toxic effect on me, and if that means keeping my distance, I will."  - Deepak Chopra

Perhaps I am in denial of fair-weather relationships...

Perhaps I am naive because I don't believe anyone would want to consciously hurt me...

I do try to keep a distance from people who have a toxic effect on me. I work with my projections and send them blessings, but I need to stay away from their energetic spider webs...











Thursday, July 24

like a puppet on a string

- mixed media on paper -
"...I know now, that I'm way down on your line, but the waiting feel is fine.  So don't treat me like a puppet on a string, cause I know I have to do my thing.  Don't talk to me as if you think I'm dumb...I don't wanna wait in vain for your love...It's me love that you're running from." 
- Bob Marley (1945-1981)

Wednesday, July 23

mama zen


sit quietly doing nothing,

spring comes and the grass grows by itself.

- ZEN proverb

Maternal instinct is that protective wild lioness, unafraid to use claws and jaws...unafraid to risk life and strength for her child.

However, sometimes the best protection is allowing our children to learn on their own. Empower them to distinguish danger and yet be unafraid. Show them by example how to get up and stand after a fall.

from my journals




Tuesday, July 22

a heightened awareness

- 2011 photograph featuring one of my wearable sculptures -
"We do not interact at random.  We are in each other's lives for spiritual reasons.  We have "business" with one another.  By consciously choosing to focus on why I have met someone, on how I can best serve and expand another, I bring to each encounter a heightened awareness.  As I ask to love all and serve all, I bring forward my spiritual gifts and call forward the gifts of others.  Grace fills every moment when we are truly present.  Sometimes we transit each other's lives like benevolent planets."
- Julia Cameron


Monday, July 21

you are always welcome near me

"Those kisses you sent, I found them wandering around the house. They were acting a little lost, not knowing exactly where I was.

I was busy upstairs. But now we are all having tea and talking about you, and wishing you were here.

And they imparted all you intended. They did well.

One more thing: I have seen you at your best and at your worst; still you are always welcome near me." - HAFIZ 

...the sounds of morning birds at my window, yoga stretches, cleansing breaths and Hafiz, my beloved Hafiz...

Sunday, July 20

my own evolution

"Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution.”
- Deepak Chopra


Saturday, July 19

a revolutionary act

- 2007 mixed media on paper -

"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act."
- George Orwell

telling the truth is a revolutionary act...

telling the truth...



Friday, July 18

the human experience

- 2013 watercolor on paper -
"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." - Anais Nin


Every person we come in contact with can be a mirror to various aspects of ourselves.

I don't believe in coincidence.  There is learning in every experience and in every encounter...

We are on this planet to fall in love with ourselves...with our true essence...

We are here to dance, to stretch, to open, to forgive, to love and to learn...

We are here to have the human experience, to FEEL...the pain, the pleasure and the WILD JOY...


from my journals

Thursday, July 17

how deep is your love?


"I know your eyes in the morning sun.  I feel you touch me in the pouring rain, and the moment that you wander far from me, I wanna to feel you in my arms again.

And you come to me on a summer breeze.  Keep me warm in your love and then softly leave.  And it's me you need to show - how deep is your love?...cause we're living in a world of fools, breaking us down when they all should let us be.  We belong to you and me.

I believe in you.  You know the door to my very soul.  You're the light in my deepest, darkest hour.  You're my savior when I fall.  And you may not think I care for you, when you know down inside that I really do..." - The Bee Gees







Wednesday, July 16

wisdom of obscurity

- from one of my journals -
"Should you want to contain something,
you must deliberately let it expand.

Should you want to weaken something,
you must deliberately let it grow strong.

Should you want to eliminate something,
you must deliberately allow it to flourish.

Should you want to take something away,
you must deliberately grant it access.

The lesson here is called
the wisdom of obscurity.

The gentle outlasts the strong.

The obscure outlasts the obvious.

Fish cannot leave deep waters, and a country's weapons should not be displayed.

I seek out obscurity by suppressing any desires for attention or recognition."

- Living the Wisdom of the Tao by Dr. Wayne Dyer




Tuesday, July 15

el viento del olvido

- mixed media -
"Como a todas las muchachas del mundo,
también a Ella,
tejiéronla
con sus sueños,
los hombres que la amaban.

Y yo la amaba.

Pudo ser para otros un rostro 
que el Viento del Olvido 
borra a cada instante.
Pudo ser,
pero yo la amaba.

Yo veía las cosas más sencillas
volverse misteriosas
cuando Ella las tocaba.
Porque las estrellas de la noche
¡Ella con su mano las sembraba!

Los dĂ­as de esmeralda,
los pájaros tranquilos,
los rocĂ­os azules,
¡Ella los creaba!

Yo me emocionaba
con sĂłlo verla pisar la hierba.

¡Ah si tus ojos me miraran todavĂ­a!

Esta noche no tendrĂ­a tanta noche.
Esta noche la lluvia caerĂ­a sin mojarme.

Porque la lluvia no empapa
a los que se pierden 
en el bosque de sus sueños relucientes,
y sus dĂ­as no terminan
y son sus noches transparentes.

¿DĂłnde estás ahora?
¿En quĂ© ciudad,
en qué penumbra,
en cuál bosque
te desconocen las luciérnagas?

Tal vez mientras escribo,
estás en un suburbio,
sola, inerme, abandonada...

¡Abandonada, no!

En tu ausencia
mi corazĂłn todas las tardes muere."

- Manuel Scorza (1928-1983)

Monday, July 14

beach story

- circa 1970s -
The beach holds memories of sand castles and salty smiles. It is where I need to begin telling my story, telling her story...with Father Sun and Mother Moon...

excerpt from my journal

Sunday, July 13

don't bring your lips so close - the kiss in your eyes

- mixed media on paper -

"All or nothing at all
Half a love never appealed to me
If your heart never could yield to me
Then I'd rather have nothing at all
All or nothing at all
If it's love there is no in between
Why begin, then cry
For something that might have been
No, I rather have nothing at all
But please, don't bring your lips so close to my cheek
Don't smile or I'll be lost beyond recall the kiss in your eyes
The touch of your hand makes me weak
And my heart may grow dizzy and fall
And if I fell under the spell of your call
I would be caught in the undertow
So you see, I've got to say no, no
All or nothing at all..." - Billie Holiday

...if it's love, there is no in between...
Sunday morning with Billie Holiday

Saturday, July 12

whispery sensation pulsating

- do you trust your gut?  I do... -
"Learning to trust your instincts, using your intuitive sense of what's best for you, is paramount for any lasting success. I've trusted the still, small voice of intuition my entire life. And the only time I've made mistakes is when I didn't listen. 

It's really more of a feeling than a voice—a whispery sensation that pulsates just beneath the surface of your being. All animals have it. We're the only creatures that deny and ignore it. 

How many times have you gone against your gut, only to find yourself at odds with the natural flow of things? We all get caught up in the business of doing, and sometimes lose our place in the flow. But the more we can tune in to our intuition, the better off we are. I believe it's how God speaks to us. 

For all the major moves in my life—to Baltimore, to Chicago, to own my show, and to end it—I've trusted my instincts. I take in all the information I can gather. I listen to proposals, ideas, and advice. Then I go with my gut, what my heart feels most strongly. 

And I often tell friends: When you don't know what to do, do nothing. Get quiet so you can hear the still, small voice—your inner GPS guiding you to true North. " - OPRAH




Friday, July 11

we used to be closer than this

- from my journals -
"...It's hard to say.  
Separate or combine, I ask you one last time:
Did I hold you too tight?
Did I not let enough light in?

If a feeling appears, if your mind should sway,
It's not a secret you should keep,
I won't let you slip away.

We used to be closer than this...
We used to be closer than this...
Is it something you miss?

Winged or chained,
I ask you,
Would you have stayed?" - XX

Thursday, July 10

when we meet again introduced as friends

- 2013 watercolor from A Thousand Kisses Deep series -
"...She takes just like a woman, yes she does...
She makes love just like a woman, yes she does...
And she aches just like a woman...
But she breaks just like a little girl...

When we meet again,
introduced as friends,
please don't let on that you knew me when,
I was hungry and it was your world...
Ah, you fake just like a woman, yes you do...
You make love just like a woman, yes you do...
Then you ache just like a woman...
But you break just like a little girl..."
- Bob Dylan

...watercolor meditations... 



Wednesday, July 9

for your soul to shake


"I will be waiting here

for your silence to break

for your soul to shake

for your love to wake." - RUMI




Tuesday, July 8

tu voz

- my shoulder -
"...I am like a scorched rock that suddenly sings when you are near, because it drinks the water you carry from the forest, in your voice."

"...soy como piedra quemada que de pronto, contigo, canta, porque recibe el agua de los bosques por tu voz conducida."

- Pablo Neruda


Monday, July 7

closer to ecstasy

- detail from watercolor on paper -
how do you pray?

when do you pray?

do you pray?

Today I went to mass, and although I encountered moments of reverence throughout the ceremony, my soul's prayers - my connection with the Divine - are more purely and more intensely felt elsewhere.  In nature.  In silence.  In dance.  In painting.  In yoga.  In sculpting.  In lovemaking.  In compassion.  In laughter.  In salty tears. In long embraces.

Today I sweat my prayers...

"To sweat is to pray, to make an offering of your innermost self.  Sweat is holy water, prayer beads, pearls of liquid that release your past.  Sweat is an ancient and universal form of self healing, whether done in the gym, the sauna, or the sweat lodge.  I do it on the dance floor.  The more you dance, the more you sweat.  The more you sweat, the more you pray.  The more you pray, the closer you come to ecstasy." - Gabrielle Roth




Sunday, July 6

si he de vivir sin ti

"If I'm to live without you, let it be hard and bloody, cold soup, broken shoes, or in the midst of opulence let the dry branch of a cough jerk through me, barking your twisted name, the foaming vowels, and let the bedsheets stick to my fingers, and nothing give me peace. I won't learn to love you any better this way, but abandoned by happiness I'll know how much you gave me just by sometimes being around. I think I understand this, but I'm kidding myself: there'll need to be frost on the lintel so the one taking shelter in the vestibule feels the light in the dining room, the milky tablecloths, and the smell of bread passing its brown hand through the crack.

As far apart from you as one eye from the other, out of this affliction I've taken on, will be born the gaze that deserves you at last." - Julio Cortázar translated by Stephen Kessler

in the original Spanish version...

"Si he de vivir sin ti, que sea duro y cruento, la sopa fría, los zapatos rotos, o que en mitad de la opulencia se alce la rama seca de la tos, ladrandome tu nombre deformado, las vocales de espuma, y en los dedos se me peguen las sábanas, y nada me de paz. No aprenderé por eso a quererte mejor, pero desalojado de la felicidad sabre cuanto me debas con solamente a veces estar cerca. Esto creo entenderlo, pero me engaño: hará falta la escarcha del dintel para que el guarecido en el portal comprenda la luz del comedor, los manteles de leche, y el aroma del pan que pasa su morena mano por la hendija.

Tan lejos ya de ti como un ojo del otro, de esta asumida adversidad nacerá la mirada que por fin te merezca." - Julio Cortázar 


Saturday, July 5

coral petals

I brought home coral petals as mementos of seven days by the sea...







Friday, July 4

refuse to stop kissing

"Because there's nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline, no matter how many times it's sent away." - Sarah Kay


Thursday, July 3

mango on the beach

a threatening storm - 
sun - 
blue umbrellas - 
laughter - 
sweat - 
salty kisses - 
sacred waves -
flirtatious poses -
a Persian princess -
sips of coconut water - 
playfulness - 
hand in hand - 
a ripe juicy mango -
like water for chocolate kitchen - 
dance - 
heal - 
family - 
love -
and more laughter - 

...another mystical day...




Wednesday, July 2

karma

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."
- Wayne Dyer


Tuesday, July 1

once upon a time I was a mermaid

...another blessed day by the sea wearing blue...