HER-story:

With words and images, I am telling my story. Through art, through sculpture, I am remembering HERstory...
CASIMIRA

Wednesday, May 31

divine creation


"We live in air, but we do not see it, forgetting to show our thanks for the breath that gives us life.

Our bodies are made of the elements of earth, but few recognize the essential energy of the Earth Mother that fuels our physical strength.

Water blends our dreams and feelings into a sacred creative drive called the will, but few have learned to master freewill or the flow of Creation.

Our hearts contain fire, the Eternal Flame of Love, but few have learned how to use its light to illuminate their paths.

These elements give us the ability to touch our primal human natures and the potential of our spirits, seeing both as being equally sacred.

How did we stray so far from the BASIC WISDOM of the Earth Mother and the Great Mystery? 

Was it too simple a set of truths? Or did our intellectual judgements infuse us with a disdain for earthly experiences as being less desireable than spiritual concepts? 

When flesh, mind, spirit and will meet inside a human form, it is Divine Creation at its best!" 

- Jamie Sams


Tuesday, May 30

es siempre más feliz quien más amó


"Hey! 
no vayas presumiendo por ahí 
diciendo que no puedo estar sin ti 
tú qué sabes de mi. 

ya sé que a ti te gusta presumir 
decir a los amigos que sin ti 
ya no puedo vivir. 

no creas que te haces un favor 
cuando hablas a la gente de mi amor 
y te burlas de mi. 

que hay veces que es mejor querer así 
que ser querido y no poder sentir 
lo que siento por ti. 

ya ves 
tú nunca me has querido ya lo ves 
que nunca he sido tuyo ya lo sé 
fue sólo por orgullo ese querer. 

ya ves 
de que te vale ahora presumir 
ahora que no estoy ya junto a ti 
que les dirás de mi ? 

recuerdo que ganabas siempre tú 
que hacías de ese triunfo una virtud 
yo era sombra y tú luz. 

no sé si tú también recordarás 
que siempre que intentaba hacer la paz 
yo era un río en tu mar. 

ahora que ya todo terminó 
que como siempre soy el perdedor 
cuando pienses en mi. 

no creas que te guardo algún rencor 
es siempre más feliz quien más amó 
y ese siempre fui yo..."

 - Julio Iglesias


Monday, May 29

neon lights when you walk by


"Don't get me wrong
If I'm looking kind of dazzled
I see neon lights
Whenever you walk by

Don't get me wrong
If you say hello and I take a ride
Upon a sea where the mystic moon
Is playing havoc with the tide
Don't get me wrong

Don't get me wrong
If I'm acting so distracted
I'm thinking about the fireworks
That go off when you smile

Don't get me wrong
If I split like light refracted
I'm only off to wander
Across a moonlit mile

Once in awhile
Two people meet
Seemingly for no reason
They just pass on the street
Suddenly thunder, showers everywhere
Who can explain the thunder and rain
But there's something in the air

Don't get me wrong
If I come and go like fashion
I might be great tomorrow
But hopeless yesterday

Don't get me wrong
If I fall in the 'mode of passion'
It might be unbelievable
But let's not say so long
It might just be fantastic
Don't get me wrong..." 

- The Pretenders

Sunday, May 28

our eyes


"All our lives we've looked
into each other's faces.
That was the case today too.

How do we keep our love-secret?
We speak from brow to brow
and hear with our eyes."  

- RUMI

Saturday, May 27

lovers and tribes and tastes


"We die containing a richness of lovers and tribes, tastes we have swallowed, bodies we have plunged into and swum up as if rivers of wisdom, characters we have climbed into as if trees, fears we have hidden in as if caves. 

I wish for all this to be marked on by body when I am dead. I believe in such cartography - to be marked by nature, not just to label ourselves on a map like the names of rich men and women on buildings. We are communal histories, communal books. We are not owned or monogamous in our taste or experience."

- Michael Ondaatje 

detail from mixed media on canvas


Friday, May 26

naked hearts


 “Nobody sees anybody truly but all through the flaws of their own egos. That is the way we all see ...each other in life. Vanity, fear, desire, competition -- all such distortions within our own egos -- condition our vision of those in relation to us. Add to those distortions to our own egos the corresponding distortions in the egos of others, and you see how cloudy the glass must become through which we look at each other. That's how it is in all living relationships except when there is that rare case of two people who love intensely enough to burn through all those layers of opacity and see each other's naked hearts."
- Tennessee Williams (1911-1983)

detail from mixed media on canvas 

Thursday, May 25

wish upon the new dark moon


this new moon ushers in new ideas, new insights and new beginnings...

"The soul, like the moon,
is new, and always new again."
- Lalleshwari (14th century)

detail from mixed media, 2017


Wednesday, May 24

rumor de nostalgias y sueños


"Hay almas que tienen
azules luceros,
mañanas marchitas
entre hojas del tiempo,
y castos rincones
que guardan un viejo
rumor de nostalgias
y sueños.

Otras almas tienen
dolientes espectros
de pasiones. Frutas
con gusanos. Ecos
de una voz quemada
que viene de lejos
como una corriente
de sombra. Recuerdos
vacíos de llanto
y migajas de besos.
Mi alma está madura
hace mucho tiempo,
y se desmorona
turbia de misterio.
Piedras juveniles
roídas de ensueño
caen sobre las aguas
de mis pensamientos.
Cada piedra dice:
“¡Dios está muy lejos!”

Federico García Lorca (1898-1936)


Tuesday, May 23

the red blouse


the red blouse

I wore when I felt my anger rise

the red blouse

volcano 

the red blouse 

I wore when my face blushed with rage 

the red blouse 

scandal

the red blouse 

I wore when she wore grey

the red blouse

envy

the red blouse 

I wore when he looked my way

the red blouse 

passion

the red blouse 

I wore when I faked a smile

the red blouse

survival

the red blouse

I wore when I was still bleeding 

the red blouse 

memory 


excerpt from my journals 



Monday, May 22

I say fall


"It's not what you say...it's what you don't say...There's not an ounce of excitement. Not a whisper of a thrill. This relationship has all the passion of a pair of tit mice. I want you to get swept away out there. I want you to levitate. 
I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a Dervish...Yeah. Be deliriously happy or at least leave yourself open to be...I know it's a cornball thing, but love is passion. Obsession. Someone you can't live without. I say fall head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy, and who'll love you the same way back. How do you you find them? Well, you forget your head and you listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Because the truth is, honey, there's no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven't lived a life at all. But you have to try, because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."

- William Parrish from "Meet Joe Black"
circa 1998



Sunday, May 21

intimate


"He sweeps his arm across plates and glasses on a restaurant table so she might look up somewhere else in the city hearing this cause of noise. When he is without her. He, who has never felt alone in the miles of longitude between desert towns...He lies in his room surrounded by the pale maps. He is without her. His hunger wishes to burn down all social rules, all courtesy. Her life with others no longer interests him. He wants only her stalking beauty, her theatre of expressions. He wants the minute and secret reflection between them, the depth of field minimal, their foreignness intimate like two pages of a closed book.  He has been disassembled by her..."

- Michael Ondaatje


Saturday, May 20

what excites your spirit?

"Be patient.  Respond to every call that excites your spirit.  Ignore those that make you fearful and sad, that degrade you back toward disease and death." - RUMI

Friday, May 19

quedarme en vos


"Mi táctica es -
mirarte -
aprender como sos -
quererte como sos -

mi táctica es -
hablarte -
y escucharte -
construir con palabras 
un puente indestructible 

mi táctica es 
quedarme en tu recuerdo 
no sé cómo ni sé 
con qué pretexto 
pero quedarme en vos 

mi táctica es 
ser franco 
y saber que sos franca 
y que no nos vendamos 
simulacros 
para que entre los dos 
no haya telón 
ni abismos 

mi estrategia es 
en cambio 
más profunda y más 
simple 

mi estrategia es 
que un día cualquiera 
no sé cómo ni sé 
con qué pretexto 
por fin me necesites."

- Mario Benedetti



Thursday, May 18

a visitor


"The moment when, after many years 
of hard work and a long voyage 
you stand in the centre of your room, 
house, half-acre, square mile, island, country, 
knowing at last how you got there, 
and say, I own this, 

is the same moment when the trees unloose 
their soft arms from around you, 
the birds take back their language, 
the cliffs fissure and collapse, 
the air moves back from you like a wave 
and you can't breathe. 

No, they whisper. You own nothing. 
You were a visitor, time after time 
climbing the hill, planting the flag, proclaiming. 
We never belonged to you. 
You never found us. 
It was always the other way round."
by Margaret Atwood

Wednesday, May 17

in truth


"Oh soul,
you worry too much.

You have seen your own strength.

You have seen your own beauty.

You have seen your golden wings.

Of anything less,
why do you worry?

You are in truth
the soul, of the soul, of the soul."

- my beloved RUMI

Tuesday, May 16

worthy of being loved



"I hope he calls you in the morning

after a night of sleeping in a big, empty bed


Just to say good morning


Just to hear your voice
as it is the only wake up call
he needs.

I hope he cooks you breakfast 
Knowing how you like your eggs
how you take your coffee
how little or how much you wish to speak.
I hope he cooks you dinner, too
For no reason at all.

I hope he holds your hand proudly
as you walk through a room
of people you don’t know.

I hope he builds you up
until you are standing on a pedestal
of your own creation.

I hope he encourages you to make art
take risks
travel the world
be alone -
always knowing that you’ll be back
home in his warm embrace
as long as his heart is open.

I hope he wears his heart on his sleeve
and is not shy
to adorn yours
as well.


I hope he is the kind of person
who, when presented with the ocean,
will not shy away
from diving in
to ride the waves.


I hope he is all of himself
unafraid to own
his stories
no matter how dark they may seem.


I hope he can see that all of you
is in the stars
poking through
the dark sky
of your past.


I hope he is not scared
by your ability to choose growth
your ability to not be held hostage
by the person you were yesterday
last week
last year.


I hope his attention span
is as long as every word
that exits your mouth
your heart.


I hope that he hears your truth
and meets it with gratitude
for your vulnerability.


I hope he loves you
in a way you didn’t know love existed.
For you have only seen love
in other places
with shaky ground that fell
beneath your hopeful feet.


This is who I hope
for you—
Because you are worthy
of being loved
by a heart so bright
the sun blushes
in admiration."

- Annabelle Blythe

I found this within the pages of one of my journals tonight
image is a mixed media on paper, 2013


Monday, May 15

un pobre corazón que te ama tanto


"No preguntes quién pone en este canto
un alma destinada al sufrimiento
y un pobre corazón que te ama tanto."


- Julio Cortazar




Sunday, May 14

Mother's Day


my mother has always told me that every single day is a Mother's Day...


Saturday, May 13

te aguardo en mi sueño


"Tengo la convicción de que no existes
y sin embargo te oigo cada noche

te invento a veces con mi vanidad
o mi desolación o mi modorra

del infinito mar viene tu asombro
lo escucho como un salmo y pese a todo

tan convencido estoy de que no existes
que te aguardo en mi sueño para luego."

- Mario Benedetti



Friday, May 12

the cure


I don't care if Monday's blue

Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too

Thursday I don't care about you
It's Friday I'm in love

Monday you can fall apart

Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart

Thursday doesn't even start
It's Friday I'm in love

Saturday wait

And Sunday always comes too late

But Friday never hesitate...


I don't care if Monday's black

Tuesday, Wednesday heart attack

Thursday never looking back
It's Friday I'm in love

Monday you can hold your head

Tuesday, Wednesday stay in bed

Or Thursday watch the walls instead
It's Friday I'm in love

Saturday wait

And Sunday always comes too late

But Friday never hesitate...


Dressed up to the eyes

It's a wonderful surprise

To see your shoes and your spirits rise
Throwing out your frown
And just smiling at the sound
And as sleek as a shriek
Spinning round and round
Always take a big bite
It's such a gorgeous sight
To see you eat in the middle of the night
You can never get enough
Enough of this stuff
It's Friday
I'm in love

I don't care if Monday's blue

Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too

Thursday I don't care about you
It's Friday, I'm in love

Monday you can fall apart

Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart

Thursday doesn't even start
It's Friday I'm in love...

- The Cure


Thursday, May 11

books


"For some of us, books are as important as almost anything else on earth. What a miracle it is that out of these small, flat, rigid squares of paper unfolds world after world after world, worlds that sing to you, comfort and quiet or excite you. Books help us understand who we are and how we are to behave. They show us what community and friendship mean; they show us how to live and die."

- Anne Lamott

I adore books. I began collecting children's books as a teenager...

My 12-month old daughter stands amongst magical board books, most of which first belonged to her 8-year-old brother...




Wednesday, May 10

try hard ignoring those lips

- 2013 mixed media on paper -

When an irresistible force such as you
Meets and old immovable object like me
You can bet as sure as you live
Something's gotta give
Something's gotta give
Something's gotta give
When an irrepressible smile such as yours
Warms an old implacable heart such as mine
Don't say no because I insist
Somewhere, somehow
Someone's gonna be kissed
So En Garde who knows what the fates have in store
From their vast mysterious sky?
I'll try hard ignoring those lips I adore
But how long can anyone try?
Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight it with all of our might
Chances are some heavenly star spangled night
We'll find out as sure as we live
Something's gotta give
Something's gotta give
Something's gotta give
-  original music and lyrics by Johnny Mercer, sung by Ella Fitzgerald

I woke up with this song in my heart...and lots of colors in my soul...



Tuesday, May 9

wildfire in the forest


"Te amé sin que yo lo supiera, y busqué tu memoria. En las casas vacías entré con linterna a robar tu retrato. Pero yo ya sabía cómo eras. De pronto mientras ibas conmigo te toqué y se detuvo mi vida: frente a mis ojos estabas, reinándome, y reinas. Como hoguera en los bosques el fuego es tu reino."

 - Pablo Neruda


"I loved you without knowing I did; I searched to remember you. I broke into houses to steal your likeness, though I already knew what you were like. And, suddenly, when you were there with me I touched you, and my life stopped: you stood before me, you took dominion like a queen: like a wildfire in the forest, and the flame is your dominion."

- Pablo Neruda translated by Stephen Tapscott

Monday, May 8

half agony half hope


"You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever. 

I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it..."

- Jane Austen (1775 - 1817)


original photo credits:  Catalina Checa

The original photograph is from a series Catalina Checa took of me on a devastatingly deserted beach one cloudy morning... I cropped and edited the original image...playing with ideas


Sunday, May 7

sense your scent


“I want to see you. Know your voice. Recognize you when you first come 'round the corner. Sense your scent when I come into a room you've just left. Know the lift of your heel, the glide of your foot. Become familiar with the way you purse your lips then let them part, just the slightest bit, when I lean in to your space and kiss you. I want to know the joy of how you whisper "more”... - RUMI


Saturday, May 6

madre de picasso


Mi madre un día me dijo: "Si te haces soldado, serás General; si te haces monje, terminarás como el Papa." En cambio, me hice pintor y ahora soy Picasso.

One day, my mother said to me, "If you become a soldier, you will be a General; if you become a monk you'll end up as the Pope." Instead, I became a painter and now I am Picasso.

- Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)

mixed media on paper by my son when he was 2 years old 




Friday, May 5

simplemente soy

- sterling silver, silk, turquoise and vintage coral necklace (circa 2006) on top of  a mixed media on wood (circa 2009) -

"Me importa una mierda lo que piense el mundo. Yo nací puta, yo nací pintora, yo nací jodida. Pero fui feliz en mi camino. Tu no entiendes lo que soy. Yo soy amor, soy placer, soy esencia, soy una idiota, soy una alcohólica, soy tenaz. Yo soy; simplemente soy..." - Frida Kahlo


Thursday, May 4

children loving our children

"Our babies cried when we left them and we cry when they leave us. Echoes. Proud almost to arrogance then, we pushed them about in their carriages. Dutifully, wearily now, they push us about in our chairs.

Our children don't know us as we are now. Less do they know us as we were. Oh, how I wish they could have known us as we were. Do you think they would recognize their young selves in our young selves? I wish they could have seen us in all our clumsiness and selfishness, which is so like their own clumsiness and selfishness right now. There's another echo for you.

We believed the fairy tales we told our children and we loved them beyond reason even when we were green and bungling about it. We were children loving our children. And that's who we are still."

-Marlena De Blasi
my son and my pregnant belly 


Wednesday, May 3

Mimi


my maternal grandmother was a matriarch, unapologetically regal and earthy, both proud and humble at once

I feel her love, strength and guidance each day

Happy Birthday beloved Mimi...my daughter reminds me so much of you...


Tuesday, May 2

ancestral wisdom


One of my earliest memories is that of sitting on the majestic throne-like lap of beloved Grand Mother and kissing the Pre-Colombian eagle goddess pendant suspended from a long gold chain reaching her solar plexus. The shiny hammered talisman glowed in the sunlight, becoming warm in my hand, silently transferring ancestral wisdom.

from my journals