in a dream

"...I don't know how to tell you what I feel. I live in perpetual expectancy. You come and the time slips away in a dream. It is only when you go that I realize completely your presence. And then it is too late. You numb me...I don't know what to expect of you, but it is something in the way of a miracle. I am going to demand everything of you - even the impossible, because you encourage it. You are really strong. I even like your deceit, your treachery. It seems aristocratic to me." 

- Henry Miller 

no one else like me

"...Intention I feel inventive,

Gonna make you, make you, make you notice -

Got motion restrained emotion...

No reason just seems so pleasing,

Gonna make you, make you, make you notice -

Gonna use my arms,

Gonna use my legs,

Gonna use my style,

Gonna use my sidestep,

Gonna use my fingers,

Gonna use my, my, my imagination -

'Cause I gonna make you see,

There's nobody else here,

No one like me,

I'm special so special,

I gotta have some of your attention give it to me -

Got rhythm I can't miss a beat...

Got something I'm winking at you,

Gonna make you, make you, make you notice...Give it to me..."

- The Pretenders

in an 80s mood

some kind of friend

"I never meant to cause you any sorrow

I never meant to cause you any pain

I only wanted to one time

to see you laughing

I only wanted to see you

Laughing in the purple rain

Purple rain, purple rain

Purple rain, purple rain

Purple rain, purple rain

I only wanted to see you

Bathing in the purple rain

I never wanted to be your weekend lover

I only wanted to be some kind of friend

Baby, I could never steal you from another

It's such a shame our friendship had to end

Purple rain, purple rain

Purple rain, purple rain

Purple rain, purple rain

I only wanted to see you

Underneath the purple rain

Honey, I know, I know

I know times are changing

It's time we all reach out

For something new, that means you too

You say you want a leader

But you can't seem to make up your mind

I think you better close it

And let me guide you to the purple rain

Purple rain, purple rain

Purple rain, purple rain...

Purple rain, purple rain

I only want to see you

Only want to see you

In the purple rain..."

- Prince (1958 - 2016)

mixed media on paper, 2013

only you

"Looking from a window above, it's like a story of love -

Can you hear me?

Came back only yesterday 

I'm moving further away,

Want you near me

All I needed was the love you gave -

All I needed for another day 

And all I ever knew 

Only you 

Sometimes when I think of [your] name 

When it's only a game 

And I need you 

Listen to the words that you say 

It's getting harder to stay 

When I see you

All I needed was the love you gave 

All I needed for another day 

And all I ever knew 

Only you 

This is going to take a long time 

And I wonder what's mine 

Can't take no more 

Wonder if you'll understand 

It's just the touch of your hand 

Behind a closed door 

All I needed was the love you gave 

All I needed for another day 

And all I ever knew 

Only you..."

- Vince Clarke

selfie 

melt with you

"moving forward using all my breath -
making love to you was never second best -
I saw the world thrashing all around your face -
never really knowing it was always mesh and lace -
I'll stop the world and melt with you -
you've seen the difference and -
it's getting better all the time -
there's nothing you and I won't do -
I'll stop the world and melt with you -
dream of better lives the kind which never hate -
dropped in the state of imaginary grace -
I made a pilgrimage to save this human race -
never comprehending a race that long gone by -
I'll stop the world and melt with you -
you've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time -
there's nothing you and I won't do -
I'll stop the world and melt with you -
the future's open wide..." - Modern English

staring at her

"A sky full of stars and he was staring at her."

- ATTICUS 

detail from mixed media on paper 

in my mouth

"still a little bit of your taste in my mouth

still a little bit of you laced with my doubt... 

still a little bit of your ghost - your witness  

still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed...  

still a little bit of your song in my ear, 

still a little bit of your words I long to hear..."

- Damien Rice

excerpt from my journals, mixed media on canvas 

and then all

"it's a lip thing with you.

the first time we met i could not

take my eyes off them.

you probably thought you had something 

in your teeth with the way i was staring.

i know their curvature like the reminiscent

smell of my mother.

give me a photograph of every mouth in the

world and i will pick yours out without question.

i do not have a religion but if i did it

would be them...

...they are what roses and mountains and oceans

could only hope to be.

with you it's a lip thing.

and then it became a heart thing.

and then soul.

and then all."

- Christopher Poindexter

balance

"He returned to her and his lips awakened every atom in her body. His love exhausted her stars, she could not help it! She stumbled and lost her balance, wrapped herself in his moonlight and forever she seasoned his love." 

- R.M.Drake

my love

"...and what I am to you is not real,

what I am to you, you do not need,

what I am to you is not what you mean to me,

you give me miles and miles of mountains,

and I'll ask for the sea.

don't throw yourself like that,

in front of me.

I kissed your mouth, your back,

is that all you need?

don't drag my love around,

volcanoes melt me down.

...what I give to you is just what I'm going through,

there is nothing new, no, no just another phase of finding,

what I really need is what makes me bleed...

I kissed your mouth,

you do not need me."

- Damien Rice

curious

"...you never were the one...

and then I lay here open,

on the floor,

on the ground,

on the stairs,

on the way,

...and it's dangerous to go and listen to what they say...

the way you hold yourself straight,

you were never innocent,

and I just lay here frozen,

curious..."

- Zola Jesus

it is certainly dangerous to listen to what they say...

La Loba La Que Sabe

"...now before our sights, into our baskets of water held out to the heavens... 

the wolf moon, named after wolves howling to summon one another...

SUMMONS FROM LA LOBA I CALL HER 'LA QUE SABE, SHE WHO KNOWS...'

For those with ears to hear, eyes to see...

The howl is the call to 
Rest and Create. Both. 
Not one or the other. Both now. 

The howl is the call to Reconvene Gentleness and Fierceness: Both. Not one or the other. Both now. 

The howl is the call to 
Keep no collections of grievances 
petty and large. 
Throw that dung list away. 
No wolf drags a long bag of yesterdays 
behind them today.

The howl is the call to 
instead, build your list of effective solutions 
within your reach, and if not 
practice your trapeese flying. 
Wolves are the masters of the flying leap 
that lands square. We can do this. 

The howl is the call to 
choose one goal. 
The most life-giving, the most life sparing. 
Not one or the other, both. Both. 
Like a true wolf would do.

The howl is the call to 
Focus. One thing to shelter, build in beauty, 
end, begin, one thing at a time. 

The howl is the call to Collect your tendernesses and strengths. Both. Not one or the other. Both. Like a true wolf.

The howl is the call to 
not bathe nor clothe thyself in fears, 
for they weaken the child spirit, 
Who is your Creative Force. 
Wolves stand before and protect their pups, 
not place them in the teeth of predators.

The howl is the call to
Love everything one can, truly so, 
with dedication, not passing over, 
not saying yah, yah, 
but seeing the bee as equal to the butterfly, 
the human as equal to the precious waters 
and the air, the creatures equal to the mountains. And visa versa. 

La Loba, La que sabe,
whom I name She Who Knows, 
says so...
in her long, long howl 
'at the first Full Moon
of this New Year. 

All good come...
All good come now
both and all.
All. Good. Now. Come....

May it be so for thee
May it be so for me
May it be so for us all,
Each in her and his own way,
as each sees fit."

- words of wisdom by beloved Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

La Mama Loba and her wild wolf cub remind you to go out and HOWL at tonight's full wolf moon 

desire gratified

- 2013 mixed media on paper -

"Abstinence sows sand all over

The ruddy limbs and flaming hair,

But Desire Gratified

Plants fruits of life and beauty there."

- William Blake (1757-1827)

what do I most desire out of life?

what do I abstain from in life?

some of my Saturday morning questions...

kisses alone

"There are two ways to reach me: by way of kisses or by way of imagination. But there is a hierarchy: the kisses alone don't work." - Anais Nin 

snapshot: Peruvian feathers, grandmother's pearls, crystals and a rock my son painted blue when he was two...a corner of my world...

my time thinking about you

"Every time I think of you -

I always catch my breath 

And I'm still standing here 

And you're miles away 

And I'm wondering why you left

And there's a storm that's raging

Through my frozen heart tonight

I hear your name in certain circles

And it always makes me smile

I spend my time

Thinking about you

And it's almost driving me wild

And there's a heart that's breaking

Down this long distance line tonight

I ain't missing you at all

Since you've been gone away

I ain't missing you

No matter what I might say

There's a message in the wire

And I'm sending you this signal tonight

You don't know

How desperate I've become

And it looks like I'm losing this fight

In your world

I have no meaning

Though I'm trying hard to understand

And it's my heart that's breaking

Down this long distance line tonight

I ain't missing you at all

Since you've been gone away

I ain't missing you

No matter what my friends say

And there's a message that I'm sending out

Like a telegraph to your soul

And if I can't bridge this distance

Stop this heartbreak overload

I ain't missing you at all

Since you've been gone away

I ain't missing you

No matter what my friends say

I ain't missing you

I ain't missing you

I can lie to myself

And there's a storm that's raging

Through my frozen heart tonight

I ain't missing you at all

Since you've been gone away

I ain't missing you

No matter what my friends say

Ain't missing you

I ain't missing you

I ain't missing you

I can lie to myself

Ain't missing you...

No matter what my friends might say

I ain't missing you..."

- John Waite

una migaja

"Una esperanza un huerto un páramo

una migaja entre dos hambres

el amor es campo minado

un jubileo de la sangre

cáliz y musgo / cruz y sésamo

pobre bisagra entre voraces

el amor es un sueño abierto

un centro con pocas filiales

un todo al borde de la nada

fogata que será ceniza

el amor es una palabra

un pedacito de utopía

es todo eso y mucho menos

y mucho más / es una isla

una borrasca / un lago quieto

sintetizando yo diría

que el amor es una alcachofa

que va perdiendo sus enigmas

hasta que queda una zozobra

una esperanza un fantasmita."

- Mario Benedetti 

must I explain

"Do you love me, or are you just extending goodwill?

Do you need me half as bad as you say, or are you just feeling guilt?

I’ve been burned before

and I know the score

So you won’t hear me complain

Will I be able to count on you?

Or is your love in vain?

Are you so fast that you cannot see that I must have solitude?

When I am in the darkness, why do you intrude?

Do you know my world, do you know my kind?

Or must I explain?

Will you let me be myself?

Or is your love in vain?

Well I’ve been to the mountain and I’ve been in the wind

I’ve been in and out of happiness

I have dined with kings, I’ve been offered wings and I’ve never been too impressed

All right, I’ll take a chance, 

I will fall in love with you

If I’m a fool you can have the night,

you can have the morning too

Can you cook and sew, 

make flowers grow?

Do you understand my pain?

Are you willing to risk it all
Or is your love in vain?"

- Bob Dylan

winter

"...What is precious
inside us does not
care to be known
by the mind
in ways that diminish
its presence. 

What disturbs
and then nourishes
has everything
we need.

What we hate
in ourselves
is what we cannot know
in ourselves but
what is true to the pattern
does not need
to be explained.

Inside everyone
is a great shout of joy
waiting to be born."

- David Whyte, excerpt from The Winter of Listening 

exquisite misery

This little sketch is a mixed media from 2011.

"My love has made me selfish. I cannot exist without you. I am forgetful of everything but seeing you again - my life seems to stop there - I see no further. You have absorbed me. I have a sensation at the present moment as though I was disolving - I should be exquisitely miserable without the hope of soon seeing you...I have no limit now to my love...Love is my religion. I could die for that, I could die for you."

- John Keats

exquisite misery...an interesting concept