timelessness

one of my altars
With the recent and most unexpected passing of a friend, I have been questioning time....and Kahlil Gibran answers me:

You would measure time the measureless and the immeasurable.

You would adjust your conduct and even direct the course of your spirit according to hours and seasons.

Of time you would make a stream upon whose bank you would sit and watch its flowing.

Yet the timeless in you is aware of life's timelessness,

And knows that yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream.

And that that which sings and contemplates in you is still dwelling within the bounds of that first moment which scattered the stars into space.

Who among you does not feel that his power to love is boundless?

And yet who does not feel that very love, through boundless, encompassed within the centre of his being, and moving not from love thought to love thought, nor from love deeds to other love deeds?

And time even as love is, undivided and spaceless?

But if in your thought you must measure time into seasons, let each season encircle the other seasons,

And let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing.

- Kahlil Gibran

one night, all night

2009 self-portrait from a series
he slept with the ebony queen

she dreamed with the ancient pharaoh of peace

the young prince prayed all night

goldfish, yoga & buddha

one of my beloved Buddhas
Last night, I dreamed I attended a yoga retreat.
The instructor was Buddha.
I remember lovely goldfish swimming next to me.

up all night

I was assembling pieces to photograph and someone decided to help

When I am with you, we stay up all night.
When you're not here, I can't go to sleep.

Praise God for these two insomnias!
And the difference between them.

- RUMI

how well do you sleep?
sometimes, I have so many ideas...
sometimes, baby wakes me...
sometimes, I dream so much...

drenched in joy

2007 photograph of sterling warrior bangles receiving nature's blessing

I arise today
Through the strength of heaven-
Light of sun,
Radiance of moon,
Splendour of fire,
Speed of lightning,
Swiftness of wind,
Depth of sea,
Stability of earth,
Firmness of rock.

- Saint Patrick, Irish morning prayer

we began this rainy morning with
prayer
laughter
humility
forgiveness
we began this rainy morning
drenched in joy

celestial patroness

2007 mixed media detail
"Our Lady of Guadalupe
Celestial Patroness of the Americas
Empress of the Americas
Star of the New Evangelization

"I shall be there to listen to your cries, your sadness. I shall be there to cure your grievances, your misery, your suffering."

Mary is, and shall always be, the Mother of all mankind. We must heed Her call to love..."

excerpts from a small pamphlet I picked up at St. Patrick's in NYC, I saved it and just found it in one of my journals

originally published in 2007

learning to make fire

amber detail

Marriage is not
a house or even a tent

it is before that, and colder;

the edge of the forest, the edge
of the desert
the unpainted stairs
at the back where we squat
outside, eating popcorn

the edge of the receding glacier

where painfully and with wonder
at having survived even
this far

we are learning to make fire

- "Habitation" by Margaret Atwood (b. 1939)

The poetry book called to me this morning.
I had never read this particular poem, and just loved it instantly.
...we are learning to make fire....

an empress

2007 Untitled color study for jewels
Purple - is fashionable twice -
This season of the year,
And when a soul perceives itself
To be an Emperor. -- EMILY DICKINSON 1830-1886

or an empress...yes, a CASIMIRA empress

originally published in 2007

in my dreams

2009 photograph of Granada, Nicaragua
I was in an ancient city which seemed so familiar.
Cobblestone streets, an imposing cathedral and artists on every corner: dancing, painting, performing.
I had been here before....in my dreams, in another lifetime.

excerpt from last night's dreams

dreams are wiser

pieces for my upcoming show
Dreams are wiser than men.
- Omaha proverb

what have you been dreaming of?

true emotions

2009 photograph

There were always in me, two women at least,
one woman desperate and bewildered,
who felt she was drowning and another who
would leap into a scene, as upon a stage,
conceal her true emotions because they
were weaknesses, helplessness, despair,
and present to the world only a smile,
an eagerness, curiosity, enthusiasm, interest.

- Anaïs Nin (1907-1977)

why do we feel the need to conceal our true emotions?

every morning

2009 photograph

they don't have
very long memories,
so every morning
seems like a miracle

- Brian Andreas

every morning is a holiday
he wakes up overjoyed
laughing, playing, singing, dancing
...and he has an amazing memory
and an even more amazing heart

poetry of life

2007 Untitled mixed media
see the positive
-- he finds inspiration in everything - even in cleaning toilets

focus on the poetry of life
-- his paintings are silent poems

search for beauty and allow her to take over

forgive everyone, including yourself

thoughts after viewing an interview of a dear friend and mentor
Maestro Omar d'Leon

let us love

Granada, Nicaragua 2009
she loves French music and dancing by moonlight
he loves her laugh
what do you love?
today, let us love...

haves & have nots

I have my hands full....2009 photograph

I have a brilliant one-year-old baby boy.

I do not have a nanny or a housekeeper.



I have an upcoming museum show and an international trip in less than a month.

I do not have an assistant.



I have the best husband-lover-friend on the planet....



excerpt from my journals

grateful

2009 photograph taken by my 1-year-old son
Pablo Picasso believed every child is an artist.
My little artist surprises and inspires me every single day.
New words - this morning it was "TORTUGA" (turtle).
Spontaneous sketches in my journals.
The plastic zebra I stepped on.
I am blessed and grateful beyond words...

floating in moonlight

2007 mixed media
I woke up from a dream to find him praying.
The statue of the Virgin glowed, floating in moonlight.

dia de los muertos

detail from a corner of my desk
estamos muertos si no vivimos la vida al maximo
los muertos viven en nuestros recuerdos
hoy, dia de los muertos

soul surrender

detail from mixed media, 2009
delicate leaves of gold hold tight to their mother's branches

father wind whispers encouraging words

LET GO
FLY
SURRENDER

it is time

rains of gold dance down

all around

FREEDOM
INDEPENDENCE
SURRENDER

...remembering the souls of the departed
who never really leave....they simply surrender to the cycle of life

a story in progress

my son in front of a mural by artist Robert Barberena De La Rocha, Granada, Nicaragua 2009
always writing
in my dreams
in my head
in my journals

this photograph has inspired a story that is in progress

las rosas del principe

"las rosas" 2009 photograph
I was reading The Little Prince to my little prince this morning:

But it so happened that the little prince, having walked a long time through sand and rocks and snow, finally discovered a road. And all roads go to where there are people.

"Good morning," he said.
It was a blossoming rose garden.
"Good morning," said the roses.

The little prince gazed at them.
All of them looked like his flower.

"Who are you?" he asked, astounded.
"We're roses," the roses said.
"Ah!" said the little prince.

And he felt very unhappy. His flower had told him she was the only one of her kind in the whole universe. And here were five thousand of them, all just alike, in just one garden!

......he said to himself, I thought I was rich because I had just one flower, and all I own is an ordinary rose. That and my three volcanoes, which come up to my knee, one of which may be permanently extinct. It doesn't make me much of a prince....And he lay down in the grass and wept.

- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

de mi ventana

2007 Untitled mixed media
los pajarillos color sangre

bailan en arboles dorados

están enamorados

el árbol

2009 "árbol" photograph
excerpt from one of my favorite books:

El árbol cantaba con el viento; su follaje hacia música de hojas y sus ramas al rozarse entre si chirriaban, casi como pajaritos. Pero el árbol nunca le hablo, sino hasta aquel día en que el niño se quedo adormecido entre las raíces que sobresalían entre la hierba antes de hundirse en el suelo. La voz sonora dijo: "Te quiero, si me muero, me iré con vos."

- Salvador Cardenal, "Montaña en Flor"

focus

2009 photograph, sin titulo/untitled
where is our focus?

are we grateful for all that we are?

are we aligned with others who support our growth?

within

my baby boy in Granada, Nicaragua
the path to happiness
is within

If you want to find a deeper meaning in your life, you can't find it in the opinions or the beliefs that have been handed to you. You have to go to that place within yourself. - Dr. Wayne Dyer

songs of change

2006 Untitled mixed mediawhere are they?
they elude me tonight...
my dreams

the wind whispers
songs of change
the breeze kisses
songs of change

be not afraid
to close your eyes and dream
be not afraid
to dream awake

let us dance to songs of change

live like you are dying

2007 Untitled mixed media study





I have never been a big fan of country music,
but this song sent a profound message...

He said I was in my early forties
with a lot of life before me
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime
and I spent most of the next days
looking at the x-rays
Talking bout the options
and talking bout sweet time
I asked him when it sank in
that this might really be the real end
how's it hit you when you get that kinda news
man what'd you do

and he said
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.

He said I was finally the husband
that most the time I wasn't
and I became a friend a friend would like to have
and all the sudden going fishin
wasn't such an imposition
and I went three times that year I lost my dad
well I finally read the good book
and I took a good long hard look
at what I'd do if I could do it all again

Like tomorrow was a gift and you got eternity to think about
what'd you do with it what did you do with it
what did I do with it
what would I do with it'

...and then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I watched an eagle as it was flying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying...

- TIM McGRAW

must we be close to death in order to live?

meditative journey

2005 Untitled hand-dyed silk detail



sound invaded every pore of my body


a meditative journey

embracing memories

inspiring dreams


sitting in stillness...

...suddenly sacredly shy


originally published in 2007

dance

2007 untitled installation detail

we are going to dance
so come now
you delectable graces
you muses with the glorious tresses
- SAPPHO

so, get up and dance
dance for life
dance for light
dance for your SELF

change

self-portraitchange
my 37th year began with major changes around me....
I meditate upon this song
and I move and dance to change, to life itself...
as I realize and trust the perfection of the universe...

Cambia lo superficial
Cambia también lo profundo
Cambia el modo de pensar
Cambia todo en este mundo

Cambia el clima con los años
Cambia el pastor su rebaño
Y así como todo cambia
Que yo cambie no es extraño

Cambia el más fino brillante
De mano en mano su brillo
Cambia el nido el pajarillo
Cambia el sentir un amante

Cambia el rumbo el caminante
Aunque esto le cause daño
Y así como todo cambia
Que yo cambie no es extraño

Cambia, todo cambia
Cambia, todo cambia

Cambia el sol en su carrera
Cuando la noche subsiste
Cambia la planta y se viste
De verde en la primavera

Cambia el pelaje la fiera
Cambia el cabello el anciano
Y así como todo cambia
Que yo cambie no es extraño

Pero no cambia mi amor
Por mas lejos que me encuentre
Ni el recuerdo ni el dolor
De mi tierra y de mi gente

Y lo que cambió ayer
Tendrá que cambiar mañana
Así como cambio yo
En esta tierra lejana.

- Julio Numhauser

healing

one of my beloved buddhas wearing a mixed media sculpture
Just as the soft rains fill the streams,
pour into the rivers, and join together in the oceans,
so may the power of every moment of your goodness
flow forth to awaken and heal all beings--
those here now, those gone before, those yet to come.

By the power of every moment of your goodness,
may your heart's wishes be soon fulfilled
as completely shining as the bright full moon,
as magically as by a wish-fulfilling gem.

By the power of every moment of your goodness,
may all dangers be averted and all disease be gone.
May no obstacle come across your way.
May you enjoy fulfillment and long life.

For all in whose heart dwells respect,
who follow the wisdom and compassion, of the Way,
may your life prosper in the four blessings
of old age, beauty, happiness and strength.

- Traditional Buddhist Blessing & Healing Chant

more beautiful now

2007 Untitled photographic study" One day, I was already old, in the entrance of a public place a man came up to me. He introduced himself and said, “I’ve known you for years. Everyone says you were beautiful when you were young, but I want to tell you I think you’re more beautiful now than then. Rather than your face as a young woman, I prefer your face as it is now. Ravaged.”

opening paragraph of “The Lover” ©1985 Marguerite Duras as translated from the French by Barbara Bray

such a secret place

2007 Untitled
"If some one loves a flower, of which just one single blossom grows in all the millions and millions of stars, it is enough to make him happy just to look at the stars. He can say to himself: 'Somewhere, my flower is there...' But if the sheep eats the flower, in one moment all his stars will be darkened....And you think that is not important!"

He could not say anything more. His words were choked by sobbing....I did not know what to say to him. I felt awkward and blundering. I did not know how I could reach him, where I could overtake him and go on hand in hand with him once more. It is such a secret place, the land of tears.

- excerpt from Antoine de Saint-Exupery's
"The Little Prince"

birthday girl

mixed media of moi...circa 1970's
a dear friend once gave me a cosmetic bag that reads:

"birthday girl philosophy: be grateful to have been given one more day, let alone one more year. remember to dance in your nightgown, sing in the shower, ride a bike, fly a kite, and take an occasional "wind bath" in your bare skin. give those you love big kisses, huge hugs, and the words "i love you" often and always. nurture your body rather than starve your soul with fad dieting. spend time with the old and the weary to better appreciate your life. on your birthday, call your mother and father wherever they are to thank them for all that they have done for you. watch the movie "life is beautiful" at least once a year. remember that you are not guaranteed tomorrow and that today is as good as it gets. thank god for every thing, every day, every moment."

wash away worries

2007 Untitled mixed media
may the SUN
bring you new energy by day,

may the MOON
softly restore you by night,

may the RAIN
wash away your worries,

may the BREEZE
blow new strength into your being.

may you walk gently through the world
and know its beauty all the days of your life.

- APACHE BLESSING

RAIN MOTHER, wash away our worries...

turquoise & silk

detail from my studio
she dresses in turquoise
for protection
for power
she dances in silk
for wisdom
for strength

pearls of wisdom

detail from my studio's desk

The richest merchandise of all, the most sovereign commodity throughout the whole world, are these pearls.

- Pliny the Elder (23-79 A.D.)

pearls of wisdom
from the sea
she has given me

blue eyes

2007 Untitled textile study - hand dyed silk is from 2005
blue reminds me of his eyes
framed in dark rimmed glasses
remembering my Papa-Coco on his birthday

pink feather prayers

feathers found during morning walk
one by one
she collected
pink feather prayers

el camino

detail from sculpture
I was in a strangely wonderful land where giant boulders erupted from blue oceans. He appeared wearing a red mantel over his shoulders and carrying an ancient walking stick. The Shaman smiled and asked me to show him the way...to show him "el camino"....

in progress

detail from a piece in progress, 2009

Thoughts are like drops of water. When I think the same thoughts over and over again, I am creating this incredible body of water. First, I have a little puddle, then I may get a pond, and as I continue to think the same thoughts over and over and over again, I have a lake, and finally an ocean. If my thoughts are negative, I can drown in a sea of my own negativity. If my thoughts are positive, I can float on the ocean of life. I dwell on positive thoughts.

- Louise L. Hay

we are all works in progress
let us be kind to ourselves and to each other
let us choose thoughts of peace and compassion

goddess gifts

detail from a recent photograph taken in Granada, Nicaragua
I was walking barefoot on the cobblestone streets, heading towards the colonial cathedral.

The goddess appeared with specific messages and gifts:

a golden pen to write

a blue feather to fly

corals, crystals and minerals to sculpt

excerpt from last night's dreams

looking

2009 mixed media on wood from a series in progress

Why do you study so much?
What secret are you looking for?
Life will soon reveal it to you.
I already know everything...

- Frida Kahlo,
excerpt from a letter to Alejandro Gomez Arias, circa 1926

what are we looking for?

open open

2007 Untitled mixed media

You use my world without gratitude. You are blessed but fail to see your blessings. Open your eyes. The sun rises in beauty. The day begins. It is my day that I give you. You are my cherished child. Open your heart. Learn to thank me for all that unfolds for you. I am always present, always active. I bring you people, places, and things to bless your path. I am your provider, your opportunity. I am your path. Be conscious of me. Count your blessings and allow me to multiply them. Every thank-you triggers another gift. Blessings build upon blessings. They multiply in a grateful heart.

Bring me your heart. Let me soften it. Let me teach it to cherish and appreciate the smallest things. The puppy basking in the sun. The butterfly alighting on a bush. The industrious ant. The budding rose. All of these are part of me. All of life is my life, and all of life is yours to enjoy.

Celebrate beauty when you find it. Practice compassion for every living thing. Allow life to teach your heart how to respond to life. Let the willow teach you flexibility. For the poplar learn optimism. From the cottonwood take lessons in gentleness. I bless you with all these. Exercise gratitude that I may bless you more.

- Julia Cameron, excerpt from her book
"Answered Prayers: Love Letters from the Divine"

This morning in the midst of feeding, bathing and dressing baby....feeding, bathing and dressing myself...finding lost keys -- I stopped to take a breath and was called to this book, to this passage. Let us open our eyes, open our hearts and remember to be grateful....Om Shanti...

Mercedes Sosa

2009 mixed media
Music can't solve problems. Human beings have to resolve their own problems. But music can console people who suffer from problems, and perhaps it can inspire people to try to solve their problems. Singers have to sing whatever they believe in. They have to stay true to themselves. These are the songs I believe in, so I have to keep singing them.
- Mercedes Sosa (1935-2009)

....and we must continue singing, for our children's children...

I woke up

2003 sculpture surrounded by some of my stone collection
what very strange dreams last night

a famous man was overdressed
his infamous wife was tardy

a nurse attempted to sell me a crystal chandelier
something I do not need or want or even like very much

what very strange dreams last night

I woke up to find my baby dancing and giggling
every day seems like Christmas morning with him

turquoise morning

detail from a turquoise I have been working with




turquoise and corals

silks with silver

sewing and hammering

sculpting with dreams

just another morning

playing with silk

2009 self-portrait
Mother Goddess delivered ten silk pouches for me to play with.
She tells me I am "light years ahead"...

one's courage

2005 “BODHISATTVA” mixed media on paper




“LIFE SHRINKS OR EXPANDS IN PROPORTION TO ONE’S COURAGE.”
--- ANAÏS NIN




for anyone in need of courage today
originally published in 2007