howling at the darkness of the new moon

"We have come together to fall apart 

The queen of chaos straddles 

our corpora callosa 

Reins of raw silk weaving our wills 

into the corners of the collective mind

There's more to chaos than meets the mind 

dialoguing with demons, goddesses

and gods

Wings lying unconscious at our sides

rise and shudder

If chaos were only chaos

we wouldn't sit in the darkness

of new moons choking back howls

If chaos were only chaos

this edge would rise up razor sharp

and take off our heads

Off with our heads!

We'd eat our cake and dance on the crumbs

Oh, God!

If chaos were only chaos

she'd take her spiked heel

and pierce our throats

Ripe verbs would do us all night

Words would fly from our lips like birds

in a formation never seen by humans

If chaos were only chaos

the words wouldn't matter

and the poem would always be there

Always be there

Be there

Be there

We have come together here

We have come together

We have come together to fall apart."

- Jewel Mathieson

the warrior in me has awakened

decapitating demons

slashing fears

through tears

crushing judgements

while dancing and dreaming

the warrior in me

the blessed spiritual warrior in me

manifesting peace

see through desires

"You meet another person and there are qualities in that personality which offend you and there are qualities which attract you - some qualities seduce you - some qualities repel you - some qualities sexually excite you - some qualities revolt you - some qualities interest you - some qualities fascinate you - some qualities bore you. It's only when you can see through all that veil...through all your own desires... Beyond Sita walking in the path that you can see beyond all that to where the other being is." - Ram Dass

hold on to our center

"Often we long for another person because, in an invisible, intangible realm, we're still communicating, still connecting, still seeking resolution...

...there was a time when widows wore weeds for a year; grief was understood, acknowledged, validated. It's not neurotic to grieve a relationship; what's neurotic is when we don't. On some level, no matter how disassociated from our feelings we might be, every relationship brings hope - hope that this might be a safe place, a haven, a rest after all our battles.

When a relationship doesn't work out, for whatever reason, our disappointment is natural. Every intense encounter represents a deep and complicated KARMIC connection. An ending of a relationship is much like a death, and in many cases the sadness is even greater. When someone has died, there has often been completion and understanding that doesn't occur when both people are alive but have separated without higher awareness. Perhaps the one we love is simply on the other side of town now, sleeping with someone else, yet they are really universes away since the resolution we so crave has not occurred. There's no need to pretend this isn't a knife to the heart. It is, and there's nothing to do but cry the tears that gush forth like blood from a wound...

...It takes great courage and personal strength to hold on to our center during times of great hurt. It takes wisdom to understand that our reactiveness only fans the flames of FALSE DRAMA. Love creates a mystical shield around us, protecting us from chaos...TRUTH can never be destroyed."

- Marianne Williamson

pero no cambia mi amor

one of my tshirts, some of my turquoise

Life is change...change is life. 

Change is part of our transformation.

Cambia lo superficial
Cambia también lo profundo
Cambia el modo de pensar
Cambia todo en este mundo

Cambia el clima con los años
Cambia el pastor su rebaño
Y así como todo cambia
Que yo cambie no es extraño

Cambia el más fino brillante
De mano en mano su brillo
Cambia el nido el pajarillo
Cambia el sentir un amante

Cambia el rumbo el caminante
Aunque esto le cause daño
Y así como todo cambia
Que yo cambie no es extraño

Cambia, todo cambia
Cambia, todo cambia

Cambia el sol en su carrera
Cuando la noche subsiste
Cambia la planta y se viste
De verde en la primavera

Cambia el pelaje la fiera
Cambia el cabello el anciano
Y así como todo cambia
Que yo cambie no es extraño

Pero no cambia mi amor
Por mas lejos que me encuentre
Ni el recuerdo ni el dolor
De mi tierra y de mi gente

Y lo que cambió ayer
Tendrá que cambiar mañana
Así como cambio yo
En esta tierra lejana.

- Julio Numhauser

we waste lifetimes in the waiting

"We stand shivering at the door, terrified and panicked that we have lost the key. We waste lifetimes in the waiting because in the haze, the painted fog of our fear, we forget to check the handle and discover it has never been locked at all." 

- Tyler Knott Gregson

revolución evolución

"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act."

- George Orwell

telling the truth is a revolutionary act...

telling the truth...

mixed media on paper

circle of women

all ages from 5 months to 85 years.

mujeres.

spiritual warriors.

daughters.

mothers.

sisters.

women of wisdom.

"The circles of women around us weave invisible nets of love that carry us when we're weak and sing with us when we're strong." - SARK

snapshot: Star's beautiful handmade paper flowers and pink diamonds 

you numb me

"...I don't know how to tell you what I feel.

I live in perpetual expectancy. 

You come and the time slips away in a dream. 

It is only when you go that I realize completely your presence. 

And then it is too late. 

You numb me...I don't know what to expect of you, but it is something in the way of a miracle. 

I am going to demand everything of you - even the impossible, because you encourage it. 

You are really strong. 

I even like your deceit, your treachery. 

It seems aristocratic to me." 

- Henry Miller 

snapshot: feather, stones and crystals on my meditation altar

autumn equinox

the drumming begins.

we dance under the bright moonlight.

we dance in prayer, in gratitude, in celebration.

a new year, a new cycle begins with longer nights to nurture the seeds of the soul planted in fertile imagination and held in perfect balance and harmony.

let us harvest ALL the gifts the universe bestows upon us.

from my prayer journal

dreaming with ancient oceans

"The graceful movements come from a pearl somewhere on the ocean floor. Poems reach up like spindrift and the edge of driftwood along the beach, wanting! They derive from a slow and powerful root that we can't see. Stop the words now. Open the window in the center of your chest, and let the spirits fly in and out." - RUMI

snapshot: detail from a work in progress, mixed media on canvas

earth goddess

"As I go into her, she pierces my heart. 

As I penetrate further, she unveils me. 

When I have reached her center, I am weeping openly.

I have known her all my life, yet she reveals stories to me, and these stories are revelations and I am transformed. Each time I go to her I am born like this. Her renewal washes over me endlessly, her wounds carress me; I become aware of all that has come between us, of the noise between us, the blindness, of something sleeping between us. Now my body reaches out to her. They speak effortlessly, and I learn at no instant does she fail me in her presence. She is as delicate as I am; I know her sentience; I feel her pain and my own pain comes into me, and my own pain grows large and I grasp this pain with my hands, and I open my mouth to this pain, I taste, I know, and I know why she goes on, under great weight, with this great thirst, in drought, in starvation, with intelligence in every act does she survive disaster. This earth is my sister; I love her daily grace, her silent daring, and how loved I am how we admire this strength in each other, all that we have lost, all that we have suffered, all that we know: we are stunned by this beauty, and I do not forget: what she is to me, what I am to her." - Susan Griffin

SNAPSHOT:

detail from one of my pieces: endless freshwater pearls suspended from bronze sculpture and vintage silks...

the earth goddess is my muse...

I remember and celebrate HERstory...

gentle sting between us

"I'm a fool for that shake in your thighs.

I'm a fool for that sound in your sighs.

I'm a fool for your belly.

I'm a fool for your love.

I want to make this plain.

Oh, I know your faded, but stay, don't close your eyes...

Caught in this pool held in your eyes.

Caught like a fool without a line.

We're in a natural spring,

With this gentle sting between us.

Stay, stay open..."

- RHYE

a favorite song I had not listened to in a long time

una noche con Federico García Lorca

el me llamó y me contó lo siguiente:

"So I took her to the river.

I thought she wasn't married,

but she had a husband.

It was St. James' eve,

and almost as if agreed.

The streetlights went out,

the crickets went on.

At the far edge of town

I touched her sleeping breasts.

They opened to me suddenly

like fronds of hyacinth.

The starch of her petticoat

made a sound in my ears 

like a piece of silk

being ripped by ten knives.

Silver light gone from their leaves,

the trees have grown bigger,

and a horizon of dogs

barks far from the river.

Out beyond the rambles,

the hawthorns and reeds,

beneath her mane of hair

I made a hollow in the sedge.

I took off my necktie.

She took off her dress.

I, my belt and pistol.

She, four bodices.

No silken shell or spikenard

is finer than her skin,

nor did moons or mirrors

ever glow like this.

Her thighs eluded me

like startled fish,

one half filled with fire,

the other half with cold.

That night the road I ran

was the finest of them all,

without a bridle or stirrup

on a filly made of pearl.

As a man, I won't repeat

the things she said to me.

The light of understanding 

has made me more discreet.

I took her from the river

spiked with kisses and sand.

The sabers of the irises

were stabbing at the breeze.

I behaved as what I am.

A true-born gypsy.

I gave her a sewing basket 

made of straw-gold satin,

and refused to fall in love

because she had a husband,

though she said she wasn't married

when I took her to the river."

- Federico Garcia Lorca

discipline

My Dear, I ask you:

"Do you have the discipline to be a free spirit?" - G. Roth

still in love with you on this harvest moon

"Come a little bit closer 

Hear what I have to say 
Just like children sleeping
We could dream this night away.

But there's a full moon rising 

Let's go dancing' in the light
We know where the music's playing
Let's go out and feel the night.

Because I'm still in love with you

I want to see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon.

When we were strangers

I watched you from afar
When we were lovers
I loved you with all my heart.

But now it's getting late

And the moon is climbing high
I want to celebrate
See it shining in your eye.

Because I'm still in love with you

I want to see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon."

- Neil Young

this song found me through a dear friend

detail from mixed media on canvas 

all knowledge is within you

"In many shamanic societies, if you came to a medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions:

When did you stop dancing? 

When did you stop singing? 

When did you stop being enchanted by stories? 

When did you stop being comforted by the sweet territory of silence?"

- Gabrielle Roth

2013 mixed media on paper, All Knowledge Is Within You

liberated from fear

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

- Marianne Williamson

This quote sits on my altar and is also tucked within the pages of my journals...

words of wisdom

"All eyeZ on me...

I bet you got it twisted you don't know who to trust...

Y'all got me under surveillance huh?

All eyeZ on me.

But I'm knowing..."

- TUPAC

snapshot of my son at the Grammy Museum

un amor que se lleve las mentiras

"Mereces un amor que te quiera despeinada, con todo y las razones que te levantan de prisa, con todo y los demonios que no te dejan dormir. 

Mereces un amor que te haga sentir segura, que pueda comerse al mundo si camina de tu mano, que sienta que tus abrazos van perfectos con su piel. 

Mereces un amor que quiera bailar contigo, que visite el paraíso cada vez que mira tus ojos, y que no se aburra nunca de leer tus expresiones. 

Mereces un amor que te escuche cuando cantas, que te apoye en tus ridículos, que respete que eres libre, que te acompañe en tu vuelo, que no le asuste caer. 

Mereces un amor que se lleve las mentiras, que te traiga la ilusión, el café y la poesía."

- Frida Kahlo

a corner of my world

nieta de Guillermo Sevilla-Sacasa

mi bello abuelo de colonias y cuentos 

el que me enseño a dibujar 

a jugar con palabras 

a platicar con seguridad

a ser una verdadera pavo-real-la de plumas blancas y plateadas como las de las hadas

siempre impecable y notable

un genio genial y jovial de medallas y honores

el de mis amores

siento su mirada noche y día

escucho sus consejos

segura que nos encontramos en mis sueños

excerpt from my journals