succulent soulfulness

- my artwork - my soul's expression -

"People discuss my art and pretend to understand as if it were necessary to understand, when it's simply necessary to love." - Claude Monet

I actually love when someone questions my creations.

I don't always have the answers.  

I create from a place of succulent soulfulness...  

...in complete freedom without the need to please anyone, without the need to explain...

It is the soul that speaks through my artwork and communicates with my collectors.

from my journals

declaration of love

- what is on your desk? -

From the beginning of my life

I have been looking for your face

but today I have seen it

Today I have seen

the charm, the beauty,

the unfathomable grace

of the face

that I was looking for

Today I have found you

and those who laughed

and scorned me yesterday

are sorry that they were not looking

as I did

I am bewildered by the magnificence

of your beauty

and wish to see you

with a hundred eyes

My heart has burned with passion

and has searched forever

for this wondrous beauty

that I now behold

I am ashamed

to call this love human

and afraid of God

to call it divine

Your fragrant breath

like the morning breeze

has come to the stillness of the garden

You have breathed new life into me

I have become your sunshine

and also your shadow

My soul is screaming in ecstasy

Every fiber of my being

is in love with you

Your effulgence

has lit a fire in my heart

and you have made radiant

for me

the earth and sky

My arrow of love

has arrived at the target

I am in the house of mercy

and my heart

is a place of prayer

- RUMI

I begin my days with poetry and prayer, meditation and yoga...

projections

"Do not take anything personally.

Nothing others do is because of you.

What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.

When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."

- Don Miguel Ruiz

silence

"Contain your experience with the Divine so that it does not escape you but rather shapes you. 

Be silent. 

Silence will help you avoid engaging in the games of competition and illusion that regularly seduce us in the outside world. Silence also helps you avoid distraction. It helps focus the busy mind - the mind that always has to be doing something, thinking something, the mind that always has to be otherwise engaged lest it become introspective and allow the soul’s voice to override its own. 

The silence I am describing is a silence that you use to contain the grace you receive when you enter the Castle of your soul. This quality of silence allows you to engage in discernment. 

You carry this silence within you, even when you are with others. It allows you to hold your center amid the chaos of your life; it keeps you clear so that you do not do or say things you will regret or make decisions out of fear. “

- Caroline Myss

decapitating demons

"We have come together to fall apart

The queen of chaos straddles

our corpora callosa

Reins of raw silk weaving our wills

into the corners of the collective mind

There's more to chaos than meets the mind

dialoguing with demons, goddesses

and gods

Wings lying unconscious at our sides

rise and shudder

If chaos were only chaos

we wouldn't sit in the darkness

of new moons choking back howls

If chaos were only chaos

this edge would rise up razor sharp

and take off our heads

Off with our heads!

We'd eat our cake and dance on the crumbs

Oh, God!

If chaos were only chaos

she'd take her spiked heel

and pierce our throats

Ripe verbs would do us all night

Words would fly from our lips like birds

in a formation never seen by humans

If chaos were only chaos

the words wouldn't matter

and the poem would always be there

Always be there

Be there

Be there

We have come together here

We have come together

We have come together to fall apart."

- Jewel Mathieson

the warrior in me has awakened

decapitating demons

slashing fears

through tears

crushing judgements

while dancing and dreaming

the warrior in me

the blessed spiritual warrior in me

manifesting peace

Carlos Checa-Velarde

September arrives with my beloved father-in-law's birthday...

consecutive dreams

soñé contigo...

me contabas tus historias,

me decías que querías dejar todo,

viajar lejos,

olvidar todo,

dejar tu cabello crecer y pintar a colores,

soñé contigo...

será otra vida?

la vida de los sueños

será un sueño esta vida?

••••••••

consecutive nights I dream of dreams...

I dream with you...

what messages are you sending me?

excerpt from my dream journal

to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only

"I would like to watch you sleeping, 

which may not happen.

I would like to watch you, 

sleeping. I would like to sleep 

with you, to enter 

your sleep as its smooth dark wave 

slides over my head

and walk with you through that lucent 

wavering forest of bluegreen leaves 

with its watery sun and three moons 

towards the cave where you must descend, 

towards your worst fear.

I would like to give you the silver 

branch, the small white flower, the one 

word that will protect you 

from the grief at the center 

of your dream, from the grief 

at the center. I would like to follow 

you up the long stairway 

again and become

the boat that would row you back

carefully, a flame

in two cupped hands 

to where your body lies 

beside me, and you enter 

it as easily as breathing in.

I would like to be the air

that inhabits you for a moment

only. I would like to be that unnoticed

and that necessary."

- Margaret Atwood

unnoticed and necessary...

air...breath...yes...to enter your dreams

es una mosquita muerta

"They're probably watching me. Well, let them. Let them see what kind of a person I am. I'm not even going to swat that fly. I hope they are watching... they'll see. They'll see and they'll know, and they'll say, Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly."

- Psycho, 1960 Hitchcock film

I killed a fly and thought of the saying:

Es una mosquita muerta.

"Mosquita Muerta: is a person who pretends to be innocent, dainty, and weak (hence a dead fly), but they are actually evil backstabbers. Essentially a Spanish version of a - snake in the grass. They are extremely manipulative and will have everyone fooled by their game except for the smart ones. They will usually try to make the ones who don't fall for their game look like bad people while they play the victim." 

- Urban Dictionary 

prepared to bleed

Just before our love got lost you said -

"I am as constant as a northern star" and I said, 

"Constantly in the darkness -
Where's that at?...

Oh you are in my blood like holy wine -
You taste so bitter -
And so sweet oh -
I could drink a case of you,

darling and I would -
Still be on my feet -
Oh I would still be on my feet -

Oh I am a lonely painter -
I live in a box of paints -
I'm frightened by the devil -
And I'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid -

I remember that time that you told me, you said -
"Love is touching souls" -
Surely you touched mine 'cause -
Part of you pours out of me -
In these lines from time to time -

Oh you are in my blood like holy wine -
You taste so bitter -
And so sweet oh -
I could drink a case of you darling -
Still I'd be on my feet -
I would still be on my feet -

I met a woman -
She had a mouth like yours, she knew your life -
She knew your devils and your deeds,

and she said -
"Go to him -
stay with him if you can -
But be prepared to bleed..."

- Joni Mitchell (circa 1971)

hold on to our center

"Often we long for another person because, in an invisible, intangible realm, we're still communicating, still connecting, still seeking resolution...

...there was a time when widows wore weeds for a year; grief was understood, acknowledged, validated. It's not neurotic to grieve a relationship; what's neurotic is when we don't. On some level, no matter how disassociated from our feelings we might be, every relationship brings hope - hope that this might be a safe place, a haven, a rest after all our battles.

When a relationship doesn't work out, for whatever reason, our disappointment is natural. Every intense encounter represents a deep and complicated KARMIC connection. An ending of a relationship is much like a death, and in many cases the sadness is even greater. When someone has died, there has often been completion and understanding that doesn't occur when both people are alive but have separated without higher awareness. Perhaps the one we love is simply on the other side of town now, sleeping with someone else, yet they are really universes away since the resolution we so crave has not occurred. There's no need to pretend this isn't a knife to the heart. It is, and there's nothing to do but cry the tears that gush forth like blood from a wound...

...It takes great courage and personal strength to hold on to our center during times of great hurt. It takes wisdom to understand that our reactiveness only fans the flames of FALSE DRAMA. Love creates a mystical shield around us, protecting us from chaos...TRUTH can never be destroyed."

- Marianne Williamson

co-create with the universe

"Aborigines believe that two separate realities exist: that of everyday life, and that of the dreamtime, the timeless realm from which energy beings (the gods) first sung the world into existence. The dreamtime is the domain of song and poetry, of symbols and archetypes; the shamans believe that it's the more important of the two realities, for it births, shapes, and forms the physical world. They'd probably agree with Einstein, who said, 'Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.'

In our own culture, we've come to value our waking reality so much that we've forgotten our power to conceive from the invisible world of the dreamtime and co-create with the universe."

- Alberto Villoldo

from childhood I learned that I could receive messages through dreams...

ideas for my artwork and poetry often originate in vivid, detailed dreams...

soy la reina de tus caprichos

el talismán de tu piel me ha dicho -
que soy la reina de tus caprichos,
yo soy el as de los corazones,
que se pasean en tus tentaciones,
el talismán de tu piel me cuenta
que en tu montura caerán las riendas

cuando una noche de amor desesperados
caigamos juntos y enredados
la alfombra y el alrededor, acabaran
desordenados
cuando una noche de amor que yo no dudo
la eternidad venga seguro
tu y yo, el desnudo y el corazón...seremos uno

yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: el talismán de tu piel lo dice,
yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: lo dice el corazón y el fuego de tu piel,
yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: el talismán de tu piel lo dice,
yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: a ver que dices tu

el talismán de tu piel me chiva
que ando descalza de esquina a esquina,
por cada calle que hay en tus sueños,
que soy el mar de todos tus puertos,
el talismán de tu piel me cuenta
que tu destino caerá a mi puerta 

- song lyrics - © ROSANA ARBELO

prepared to pick up the pieces

- mixed media on paper -

"Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. A time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over." - Octavia Butler

friendship is truly an art...

I am learning to bite my tongue, despite my intuition...

despite my knowing...

silence...

patience...

prayers of protection...

forgiveness...

above all, love and compassion...

I am prepared to pick up the pieces when it's all over...

il pianto di Maria

"Mary has wept! Mary has wept! ...Weeping is fecund. There never has been a sterile tear. As the rain that falls from on high irrigates the countryside and prepares it to receive, in all fertility, the crops and seed and fruit that will in time come to ripeness, so it will happen in the realizing of the spirit." 

- Archbishop of Syracuse

sacred, fertile, healing tears...

snapshot: my meditation altar

again surrender

- mixed media from my journals -

With praying hands I face the sun, feeling love and joy in my heart.

I stretch up my hands and let the sun fill me with warmth.

I bow before the sun's radiance and place my face to the ground with humble respect.

I lift my face to the sun and then remember, to achieve such heights, I must be as the dust of the earth.

I stretch up towards its light trying to reach the greatest heights and again surrender.

I stand tall as I remember the true sun is within me.

-- Ancient Verse, author unknown

eclipse

"The Native American Navajo believe a SOLAR ECLIPSE is a SACRED time. They stay indoors and pray and tell stories about the sun and the moon. I think I will be able to FEEL the eclipse and I will pray and hope people don't get eye damage today."

- my wise 9 year old 

Papa-Coco

nací siendo la primera nieta de

Antioco Sacasa Sarria

mi Papa-Coco de ojos azules

Papa-Coco quien me contaba cuentos

historias reales

leyendas maravillosas

con guitarra y voz dulce

Papa-Coco siento su mirada en cielos celestes

Papa-Coco escucho sus consejos con amor

ya que siempre nos encontramos en mis sueños

Beloved Grand Father,

How I wish you were still walking this planet, holding your great-grandchildren's hands.

Although, I am certain you are already great friends.

Mi Papa-Coco de mis sueños...

tu párvula boca que siendo tan niña me enseñó a pecar.

- she wears feathers she finds -
- she dreams in watercolor blues -
- 2013 mixed media from my journals -

si tienes un hondo penar
piensa en mí,
si tienes ganas de llorar
 piensa en mí,
ya ves que venero
tu imagen divina, 

tu párvula boca,
que siendo tan niña,
me enseñó a pecar.
piensa en mí
cuando beses,
cuando llores,
también piensa en mí.
cuando quieras
quitarme la vida,
no la quiero para nada,
para nada me sirve sin ti.

- Agustin Lara (1900 - 1970)

soul-craving lover

"The way to maintain one's connection to the wild is to ask yourself what it is that you want. This is the sorting of the seed from the dirt. One of the most important discriminations we can make in this matter is the difference between things that beckon to us and things that call from our souls. Nowhere can this be seen more clearly than in the choice of mates and lovers. A lover cannot be chosen a la smorgasbord. A lover has to be chosen from soul-craving. To choose just because something mouthwatering stands before you will never satisfy the hunger of the soul-self. And that is what the intuition is for; it is the direct messenger of the soul."

- Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes