fragile as a thread

silk threads & amethysts waiting to become part of a CASIMIRA
if a human being is as fragile as a single thread...

...is humanity the cloth made of countless woven threads?

who are the threads in your life?

what texture is your cloth?

decálogo - decalogue

it's not what you think it is...2007 study for sculpture
Decálogo del Artista - Decalogue of the Artist

I. Amarás la belleza, que es la sombra de Dios sobre
el Universo.

I. You shall love beauty, which is the shadow of God
over the Universe.

II. No hay arte ateo. Aunque no ames al Creador,
lo afirmarás creando a su semejanza.

II. There is no godless art. Although you love not the
Creator, you shall bear witness to Him/Her creating His/Her likeness.

III. No darás la belleza como cebo para los sentidos,
sino como el natural alimento del alma.

III. You shall create beauty not to excite the senses
but to give sustenance to the soul.

IV. No te será pretexto para la lujuria ni para
la vanidad, sino ejercicio divino.

IV. You shall never use beauty as a pretext for luxury
and vanity but as a spiritual devotion.

V. No la buscarás en las ferias ni llevarás
tu obra a ellas, porque la Belleza es virgen,
y la que está en las ferias no es Ella.

V. You shall not seek beauty at carnival or fair
or offer your work there, for beauty is virginal
and is not to be found at carnival or fair.

VI. Subirá de tu corazón a tu canto y te habrá
purificado a ti el primero.

VI. Beauty shall rise from your heart in song,
and you shall be the first to be purified.

VII. Tu belleza se llamará también misericordia,
y consolará el corazón de los hombres.

VII. The beauty you create shall be known
as compassion and shall console the hearts of men.

VIII. Darás tu obra como se da un hijo: restando
sangre de tu corazón.

VIII. You shall bring forth your work as a mother
brings forth her child: out of the blood of your heart.

IX. No te será la belleza opio adormecedor,
sino vino generoso que te encienda para la acción,
pues si dejas de ser hombre o mujer,
dejarás de ser artista.

IX. Beauty shall not be an opiate that puts you
to sleep but a strong wine that fires you to action,
for if you fail to be a true man or a true woman,
you will fail to be an artist.

X. De toda creación saldrás con vergüenza,
porque fué inferior a tu sueño, e inferior
a ese sueño maravilloso de Dios,
que es la Naturaleza.

X. Each act of creation shall leave you humble,
for it is never as great as your dream and always
inferior to that most marvelous dream of God
which is Nature.

- GABRIELA MISTRAL

English translation by Doris Dana (with a couple changes by me)

waves

2007 Untitled, a recent photo I took in Nicaragua's Isletas
waves

my body moves in waves

when I dance...even when I walk sometimes

waves of laughter...waves of grief...waves of waves

"I love waves; I wish I had some in my hair. My daddy did, but I guess I didn't dive into that end of the gene pool. Virginia Woolf wrote my favorite book, The Waves, and I have a son who surfs them. I danced a thousand dances to Patti Smith's song "Wave" and I've waved a thousand good-byes. I've seen waves come and take my house, flood the same bedroom where they accompanied countless nights of lovemaking. I have ridden the waves of labor, of sorrow, and of bliss."
- GABRIELLE ROTH

from her book "Sweat Your Prayers: Movement as Spiritual Practice" which I am currently reading and practicing

un tesoro

2007 "TESORO" mixed media collage

llevas un tesoro por dentro

ofrecelo al mundo

con humildad y seguridad

you carry a treasure within

offer it to the world

with humility and security


part of the message I received in a dream last night

delicious ambiguity

2007 Untitled study for sculpture
On the way to Whole Foods' salad bar, I found this quote about perfection and delicious ambiguity...

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity."
- GILDA RADNER

one of the greatest artists

2007 mixed media depicting a fellow artist who lives in Granada and participates in art courses taught by Robert Barberena De La Rocha through Future of Nicaragua Foundation in association with Arts for the Aging
She wears butterflies in her hair and sings old love songs never forgotten. She sports a vintage pair of Chuck Taylor All Stars and tries not to use a cane when walking. When I hug her, she smells of fresh roses and baby powder. Once upon a time, she loved to cook and occasionally shares secret recipes. She is one of the greatest artists I have ever met, teaching me about the Art of Living.

meeting & kissing BOTERO

the postcard Maestro Fernando Botero signed for me last night
...So it stopped raining. The sun began to shine. Plans changed. I blow-dried my hair. I wore a CASIMIRA with tiny Colombian emeralds.

The exhibit was truly disturbing on numerous levels. The smaller, intimate watercolors and pencil drawings on paper impacted me more than the larger colorful paintings which reminded me of cartoons at first glance.

I recognized his tall wife from the Spanish HOLA magazines certain Latinas enjoy reading at salons and on airplanes ( I like to quickly view the photos, but have never purchased a copy). She seemed elegant yet not without a certain air of melancholy. Dressed all in black, as if mourning a youth that has begun to escape her. I could not help but notice a little stain on the right sleeve of her suit. I admired the bold sculptural necklace she wore. She said something about speaking French better than Spanish and about being married to the most famous man in the world. I asked if I might have a photo with her. She was gracious and kind. My camera was moody and out of focus.

He seemed to be a perfect gentleman. White hair and beard with sparkling little eyes of a man who has lived and seen a lot. Impeccably dressed in a dark blue-gray suit with stripes. He smiled and glanced into my eyes with a hint of mischief. An excellent memory - he remembered my grandfather who purchased his first painting in the United States. He signed my postcard. I may have given him a kiss on the cheek...I can't remember. Did I kiss Botero? Did Botero kiss me?

Will he ever paint me? Actually, I am not sure I would like to be portrayed as a cartoon figure...a chubby one at that...and I doubt he would consider changing the style which has made his art instantly recognizable.

So, does rain bring poetry and does sunlight dry it all away? Read yesterday's entry for a possible answer today...

rain, poetry & fernando botero

1996 Untitled, detail from mixed media
I have been awake since 5 a.m. The rain outside is comforting...soothing. This early morning has become a favorite time for me – a little gift I give myself. My morning ritual is made up of yoga practice and meditation followed by writing. I love knowing a lot of my neighbors are still sleeping. I have a busy day ahead...I need to complete a (gorgeous) necklace and begin to make some more cards. After classes, I am meeting my Mom to attend international poetry readings. Since it’s raining, I don’t have to worry about blow-drying my hair...what will I wear?...something that goes with the necklace I suppose...and what about meeting Fernando Botero?...that will have to be on another occasion, perhaps when he paints that portrait of me...

excerpt from my journal

noble soul's disappointment

2004 self-portrait in metal

“Disappointment to a noble soul

is what cold water is to burning metal;

it strengthens, tempers, intensifies,

but never destroys it.” - ELIZA TABOR

disappointment only creates opportunities - JOYFUL opportunities

el talismán de tu piel

2007 self-portraits inspired by Andy Warhol







"el talismán de tu piel me ha dicho
que soy la reina de tus caprichos,
yo soy el as de los corazones,
que se pasean en tus tentaciones,
el talismán de tu piel me cuenta
que en tu montura caerán las riendas

cuando una noche de amor desesperados
caigamos juntos y enredados
la alfombra y el alrededor, acabaran
desordenados
cuando una noche de amor que yo no dudo
la eternidad venga seguro
tu y yo, el desnudo y el corazón...seremos uno

yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: el talismán de tu piel lo dice,
yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: lo dice el corazón y el fuego de tu piel,
yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: el talismán de tu piel lo dice,
yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: a ver que dices tu

el talismán de tu piel me chiva
que ando descalza de esquina a esquina,
por cada calle que hay en tus sueños,
que soy el mar de todos tus puertos,
el talismán de tu piel me cuenta
que tu destino caerá a mi puerta"
song lyrics - © ROSANA ARBELO

I woke up dancing....singing...loving life...

hija de la luna

2007 "Hija de la Luna" linoleum print on hand-made tree-free paper

nací una noche salvaje

del vientre sagrado de luz


soy hija de luna

hermana de sol

madre de estrellas

the little print was created in Nicaragua as part of a recent course taught by Robert Barberena De La Rocha

deepest fear

2007 study for sculpture

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."

–Marianne Williamson

día de los muertos

gemstones from my studio waiting to become a CASIMIRA sculpture
los espíritus me andan siguiendo
he soñado con muertos
con lunas llenas
con playas plenas
con diamantes y esmeraldas

hoy
día de los muertos
celebro mi vida
y la tuya también

hoy
día de todos los santos
me visto de luna
canto diamantes
bailo esmeraldas

muertos o vivos - todos somos los mismos

WRITE she whispered

2007 mixed media color study
She visited my dreams last night and this morning. She smelled of roses when she hugged me close and told me she loved me and was so happy for me. She warned me against a certain few who would be envious and who would not hesitate to betray. Together we visited palaces and gardens. Before waking up, she embraced me and whispered into my ear, "WRITE"....

excerpt from my dream journal, from last night's dream

lending wings

"If you want to be an angel,
I can lend you my wings..."

- Alexandra Bertran

are you willing to lend your angel wings to another in need?


are you aware of your wings?

creating veins

2007 mixed media study for 2008 sculpture
create the veins
- he said

i shall build the body around the veins
- he whispered

celeste

2007 color studies


celeste
cielo
laguna
mar

celeste
pétalos
uno por uno

celeste-mente
te quiero

celeste
es mi amor

celeste y fresco
celeste y puro

celeste-mente tu
celeste-mente yo

humble

a humble little leaf
are you humble?

why?

why not?

"Don't be so humble - you are not that great."
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat

annie lennox's fuchsia eyes

2004 hand-dyed silk & concert ticket
a birthday sorpresa he said
i was a bit tired, but went ahead

meeting at the bookstore
in the middle of rain

our waiter was
french
spanish
colombian
quite a cocktail - that mojito
a mountain of gorgonzola cheese, please

annie lennox rocked the house
she's fifty-two not sixty-two
moving like a graceful dancer
with fuchsia eyes...

excerpt from my journal last night before falling asleep

yes & no

1999 detail from mixed media


what are you committed to?


do you trust yourself?
...not to say YES when you mean NO...


maybe?


perhaps?

so much to do

2007 untitled study for sculpture
I have so much to do that I almost don't know where to begin. The trees outside my window have begun to turn yellow - a sign that time is passing. I need to have lunch - how can I forget about eating?

excerpt from my journal

hidden within

2007 Untitled mixed media
Is it not true that hidden within every winter, there is a spring waiting?

What is hidden within you?

What is waiting to spring from within you?

petalos

2007 Untitled mixed media color study
una familia de pétalos

salieron a bailar

uno por uno

fueron cayendo

...lluvia de pétalos familiares

la perla nacio

2007 "PERLA" mixed media
la perla nació en el templo
de la diosa...

an idea for a story about the birth of the pearl

queen of the snakes

2007 "SNAKE" mixed media from a series
the snake dressed in orchid petals
with a parasol to protect from rain
she set off to find the king of pain

he would recognize her by her crown
he would baptize her and make her his queen
Queen of the Snakes...

luz azul

2007 "AZUL" mixed media
hoy estaremos entre azul
en granada
celebrando
bailando
con SACASA
con alegría
y luz
AZUL

take the plunge

2007 "PLUNGE" mixed media texture study
take the plunge, she whispered.

--but the water may be cold...

take the plunge, she urged.

--but what if i drown...

take the plunge, she pleaded.

--but i will get wet...

take the plunge, she ordered.

--but i am afraid of....of never wanting to come back for air...

take the plunge or you'll always be wondering and how sad would that be, she said.

how many excuses do YOU have for not taking the plunge?

warrior crystal

2007 "WARRIOR" mixed media
I was born from crystal waters
baptized by Thee

I genuflect
and pray

A Warrior Crystal I might be...

birthday girl

2007 mixed media of moi...circa 1970's
a dear friend once gave me a cosmetic bag that reads:

"birthday girl philosophy: be grateful to have been given one more day, let alone one more year. remember to dance in your nightgown, sing in the shower, ride a bike, fly a kite, and take an occasional "wind bath" in your bare skin. give those you love big kisses, huge hugs, and the words "i love you" often and always. nurture your body rather than starve your soul with fad dieting. spend time with the old and the weary to better appreciate your life. on your birthday, call your mother and father wherever they are to thank them for all that they have done for you. watch the movie "life is beautiful" at least once a year. remember that you are not guaranteed tomorrow and that today is as good as it gets. thank god for every thing, every day, every moment."

la cueva de lava

2007 Untitled mixed media
Fresa Fresca

aun vestida de corona de cristal

entro a la cueva de lava

encontrándose con Venus del Volcán

from a series of writings about fruit & goddess

el santo

2007 "SANTO" mixed media
el santo de rodillas
le rogaba
le pedía

el santo de rodillas
resaba noche y día
con una cruz de cristal
y una fe natural

el santo de rodillas
iluminado con la luz
de nuestra Rosa Madre María

el destino divino

2007 "DESTINO DIVINO" mixed media
la princesa y el príncipe
nacieron nobles
tenían reales
hasta salían en los billetes de verdad

los dos miraban hacia el sol
y contemplaban
porque somos nobles?
porque sera que DIOS nos mando este castigo de sociedad?

el destino divino
entendió
y les contesto

de vidas pasadas antiguas
vienen ustedes
hoy príncipes
ayer pobres
siempre almas divinas

excerpt from a short story-poem

Antioco Sacasa Sarria

2007 mixed media of my beloved Grand Father
nació un 12 de octubre
entre cielos azules
y mares morados

los pájaros cantaban
las mariposas bailaban

amado abuelo

con luna llena
y sol fuerte
hoy te pinto de celeste

remembering my Papa-Coco on his birthday

jaula

2007 "JAULA" mixed media study
jaula de oro

jaula de orgullo

jaula de sociedad

jaula de que dirán los demás

no soporto jaulas de ningún tipo

vivo por LIBERTAD



cage of gold

cage of pride

cage of society

cage of what others may say

I do not tolerate cages of any kind

I live for LIBERTY DIVINE

planta

2007 mixed media sculpture study
planta hierbas

planta arroz

planta papas

planta fruta

planta coco

planta miel

planta amor

planto DIOS
dentro de tu corazón



plant herbs

plant rice

plant potatoes

plant fruit

plant coconuts

plant honey

plant love

planting GOD
within your heart

aspasia

2007 mixed media texture studythe veiled woman


ASPASIA


reknown for her beauty and intelligence


from one of my journals...sounds like the beginning of a great story

over the rainbow to OZ

2007 "OZ" mixed media

"Some place where there isn't any trouble.
Do you suppose there is such a place, Toto?
There must be.
It's not a place you can get to by a boat or a train.
It's far, far away — behind the moon — beyond the rain —

Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high,
There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true."

- Dorothy from the film The Wizard of Oz (1939)

Today, I am traveling far away

behind the moon

beyond the rain

land of my lullaby

a place where there is trouble

but the skies are blue

and my dreams always dare to come true...

nobody or a frog

flowers from my mother's garden

I’m nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?

Then there’s a pair of us – don’t tell!
They’d banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!

- Emily Dickinson

a little poem I randomly read this morning and which made me smile

altar

one of my altars at home
a stone buddha head found in a new york flea market

a river rock that spoke to me

a strand of seeds from the sacred valley of the incas

an ancient necklace my brother gave me

what is on your altar?

La-Mujer-Jala

2007 "LA-MUJER-JALA" mixed media on a recent photograph
se despertó antes del sol

se vistió con su mejor sonrisa

La-Mujer-Jala comenzó su día

jalando esperanzas

jalando paz

jalando amor

...que jalas tu?...quien te jala?



she woke up before the sun

and dressing with her best smile

La-Mujer-Jala began her day

pulling hope

pulling peace

pulling love

...what do you pull?...who pulls you?


inspired by an anonymous woman I named "La-Mujer-Jala", "The-Woman-Pulls"

empress emeralds

The estate sale had passed and I had fortunately missed it. The remains of a once majestic home were scattered about and I began to salvage books, trinkets and treasures...

"...The Empress arrived that night, flashing a million golden lights like the enchanted queen that she was. Her full-skirted Dior ballgown was made of encrusted gold paillettes woven into sheer gold fabric. Other jewel-colored paillettes gleamed as she moved in the light. Crowning her elaborately upswept dark hair was an immense diamond tiara, studded with emeralds the size of robins' eggs. The same design of diamonds and emeralds made up her necklace and bracelet..."
- Letitia Baldrige, 1968 "Of Diamonds & Diplomats" - 1st edition

for all teenage girls

a skinny little twig
They said I had a fabulous figure. Good genes. How lucky. Que dichosa la Julita. Well-proportioned, tiny waist and delicately defined arms. Twenty years ago I had an almost flawless body - tight and alabaster, smooth and free of any stretchmarks, scars or dimples. I ate whatever I wished and never bothered with scales, sizes or exercise. I was 15 years old.

I began gaining weight in my twenties. Three to five pounds here. Two to three pounds there. I was becoming a woman and my body was evolving. They said I had such a "beautiful face" but that I was getting "fat" - "gorda" - "chubby" -- and I believed them.

I believed them and gained more weight without understanding why. I believed them and judged my body as no longer being perfect, no longer being good enough. I believed them and in doing so betrayed myself, my body and my spirit.

I am still over-weight by their standards. I walk into a room and I feel I am being scanned - has she lost weight? Or has she gained more? What a shame with that beautiful face...

My body continues to evolve - with yoga and age. My body has become my temple - my healthy temple - and I am slowing becoming DEAF to their spells that have more to do with THEIR weight and body issues.

Women, men - whomever reads this - please, please - watch what you say and what you don't say to the teenage girls in your life...

excerpt from a series of writings in progress

time

one of my treasures
Time to wake-up. Time to sleep. Time to exercise. Time to lose weight. Time to graduate. Time to grow-up. Time to get married. Time to have babies. Time to build that dream house. Time to spend "more quality time" with those babies who are almost adults. Time to visit with family. Time to get to know the neighbors. Time to go to church. Time to purchase a new vehicle. Time to cook dinner again. Time to take care of aging parents. Time to think about retirement. Time to spoil grandchildren. Time to travel. Time to remember. Time to forget. Time to be honest. Time to make the donuts - oh, I've made the donuts...

I don't eat donuts, do you?

con Ruben y Margarita

2007 Untitled mixed media study for sculpture
eran las 3 de la mañana

de repente despertó

una nube la encontró

entre luna y estrellas

con Ruben y Margarita

la historia quería ser escrita