in search of tulips and mangos

It was a lazy Sunday morning. Tumbling out of bed, I made my way to the grocery store in search of tulips and mangos. The sun was gloriously hot – summer was near.

While contemplating what color of tulips to get, red, pink, white, maybe striped...I suddenly sensed something and looked up. Clad in vintage aviator Ray-Bans, a mane of luscious locks swept back – it was him – HIM...

Ducking behind the roses, my heart and mind began a marathon. Why could I not take 5 minutes to shower...2 minutes to comb my hair...had I even brushed my teeth...PANIC. Could HE see me? Why had I not followed my parents’ cardinal rule – be ready to see anyone and be seen at all times?

He looked freshly showered, impeccable as always, but still maintaining the signature rugged manly appeal for which he was famous. I was dressed in yoga gear – black cotton lycra – UGH. Lip gloss was the extent of my beauty morning routine.

Snatching a bunch of tulips, I took advantage of the fact that he was selecting organic tomatoes. I seized my mangos and sprinted to the check-out...

from my journals, originally published in 2007 and yes I had brushed my teeth

full moon and lunar eclipse

remember to wish upon that moon tonight...

the soul unfolds itself

- detail from a page in my journals -

"...Speak to us of Self-Knowledge...

Your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights.

But your ears thirst for the sound of your heart's knowledge.

You would know in words that which you have always known in thought.

You would touch with your fingers the naked body of your dreams.

...the soul walks upon all paths.

The soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed.

The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of a countless petals."
- KAHLIL GIBRAN

brilliant mistakes

- 2008 mixed media -

"If I had my life to live over again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner."
- Tallulah Bankhead (1902-1968)

Mistakes teach us.

They are stepping-stones.

In my sculpture, I have made brilliant mistakes...

originally published in 2008

mother earth day

- 2013 mixed media -

“The Earth is our Mother. 

Whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons and daughters of the earth. This we know. All things are connected like the blood which unites one family. All things are connected.

Whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons and daughters of the earth. We did not weave the web of life, we are merely strands in it. Whatever we do to the web we do to ourselves.” 
- Chief Seattle (1780-1866)

mujer volcan

- 2013 mixed media -

Volcano Woman,

igniting the world.

Volcano Mother,

birthing new beginnings.

Volcano Goddess,

purifying the soul.

melt with you

- 2013 mixed media -

"moving forward using all my breath
making love to you was never second best
I saw the world thrashing all around your face
never really knowing it was always mesh and lace
I'll stop the world and melt with you
you've seen the difference and
it's getting better all the time
there's nothing you and I won't do
I'll stop the world and melt with you
dream of better lives the kind which never hate
dropped in the state of imaginary grace
I made a pilgrimage to save this human race
never comprehending a race that long gone by
I'll stop the world and melt with you
you've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time
there's nothing you and I won't do
I'll stop the world and melt with you
the future's open wide..." - Modern English

joy

- detail from mixed media, circa 2004 -

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.  

And how else can it be?  

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.  

Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cut that was burned in the potter's oven?  

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed out with knives?  

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.  

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you  shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.  Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall." - Kahlil Gibran

the mythical lover

- self-portrait -

"My love for you has driven me insane.  I wander aimlessly the ruins of my life, my old self a stranger to me.  Because of your love I have broken with my past.  My longing for you keeps me in this moment.  My passion gives me courage.  I look for you in my innermost being.  I used to read the myths of love.  Now I have become the mythical lover." - RUMI

trust your gut

- a new series in progress -

"Learning to trust your instincts, using your intuitive sense of what's best for you, is paramount for any lasting success. I've trusted the still, small voice of intuition my entire life. And the only time I've made mistakes is when I didn't listen. 

It's really more of a feeling than a voice—a whispery sensation that pulsates just beneath the surface of your being. All animals have it. We're the only creatures that deny and ignore it. 

How many times have you gone against your gut, only to find yourself at odds with the natural flow of things? We all get caught up in the business of doing, and sometimes lose our place in the flow. But the more we can tune in to our intuition, the better off we are. I believe it's how God speaks to us. 

For all the major moves in my life—to Baltimore, to Chicago, to own my show, and to end it—I've trusted my instincts. I take in all the information I can gather. I listen to proposals, ideas, and advice. Then I go with my gut, what my heart feels most strongly. 

And I often tell friends: When you don't know what to do, do nothing. Get quiet so you can hear the still, small voice—your inner GPS guiding you to true North. " - OPRAH

love, love, love

- mixed media -

"This sky where we live is no place to lose your wings.  So love, love, love." - HAFIZ

private hints

- 2013 mixed media -

"I saw you last night in the gathering,
but could not take you openly in my arms,
so I put my lips next to your cheek,
pretending to talk privately."

------------------

"I would love to kiss you.
The price of kissing is your life.

Now that my loving is running toward my life shouting,
What a bargain, let's buy it." 

-----------------

"Listen to the presences inside poems,
let them take you where they will.
follow those private hints,
and never leave the premises."

- RUMI

secrets where the two worlds touch

-2009 photograph-

"The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep." - RUMI

what scares you?

- mixed media print available for purchase at CASIMIRA -

“Do one thing every day that scares you.
- Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 – 1962)

you made me sing

- 2013 mixed media -

I used to be shy.
You made me sing.

I used to refuse things at the table.
Now I shout for more wine.

In somber dignity, I used to sit on my mat and pray.

Now children run through and make faces at me.
 - RUMI

blossom

- 2013 mixed media -

we are on earth,
we are of earth,
we are to BLOSSOM...

"If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace." - Thich Nhat Hanh

new moon silent devotion

- 2013 mixed media -

"light reflects from your shadow,
it is more than I thought could exist,
you move through the room,
like breathing was easy,
if someone believed me,

they would be,
as in love with you as I am,
they would be,
as in love with you as I am,
they would be,
as in love with you as I am,
they would be,
in love, love, love...

and everyday,
I'm learning about you,
the things that no one else sees,
and the end comes too soon,
like dreaming of angels,

and leaving without them,

and with words unspoken,
a silent devotion,
I know you know what I mean,
and the end is unknown,
but I think I'm ready,
as long as you're with me,

being
as in love with you as I am
as in love, love, love..." 
- Romy Madley Croft

...NEW MOON tonight and I am in love with this song...

we shared a moment

- mixed media from a series -

"My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yes, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Flying high.
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last 'til the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you." - James Blunt

freedom of my mind

- mixed media from my journals -

"Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.” - Virginia Woolf (1882-1941)

intimate like the two pages of a closed book

- memento from my days living in Italia -

"He sweeps his arm across plates and glasses on a restaurant table so she might look up somewhere else in the city hearing this cause of noise.  When he is without her.  He, who has never felt alone in the miles of longitude between desert towns...He lies in his room surrounded by the pale maps.  He is without Katherine.  His hunger wishes to burn down all social rules, all courtesy.  Her life with others no longer interests him.  He wants only her stalking beauty, her theatre of expressions.  He wants the minute and secret reflection between them, the depth of field minimal, their foreignness intimate like two pages of a closed book.  He has been disassembled by her..." - Michael Ondaatje

my words are spoken silence

- mixed media -

"Muchos me han dicho: El viento, el mar, la lluvia, el grito de los pastores...

Otros: La hembra humana y el cielo;
otros: La errante sombra y el invisible velo de la Verdad, 

y aquellos: La fantasía, el mito.

Yo no. 

Yo sé que todo es inefable rito en el que oficia un coro de arcángeles en vuelo,
y que la eternidad vive en sagrado celo,
en el que engrenda el Hombre y pare lo infinito.

Por eso, mis palabras son silencio hablado,
y en la fatal urdimbre de cada ser, 

encuentro difícil lo sabido y fácil lo ignorado...

Yo soy el Mercader de una divina feria en la que infinito es círculo sin centro
y el número la forma de lo que es materia."

- Alfonso Cortés (1893-1969)

it's friday i'm in love

"Dressed up to the eyes,
It's a wonderful surprise,
To see your shoes and your spirits rise,
Throw out your frown,
And just smile at the sound,
And as sleek as a sheikh,
Spinning round round round,
Always take a big bite,
It's such a gorgeous sight,
To see you in, in the middle of the night,
You can never get enough,
Enough of this stuff,
It's Friday I'm in love..." - THE CURE

volver sentir vivir

- mixed media self-portrait -

"Yo adivino el parpadeo,
de las luces que a lo lejos,
van marcando mi retorno.
Son las mismas que alumbraron,
con sus pálidos reflejos,
hondas horas de dolor.
Y aunque no quise el regreso,
siempre se vuelve al primer amor.
La vieja calle donde el eco dijo:
"Tuya es su vida, tuyo es su querer",
bajo el burlón mirar de las estrellas,
que con indiferencia hoy me ven volver.

Volver,
con la frente marchita,
las nieves del tiempo,
platearon mi sien.
Sentir, que es un soplo la vida,
que veinte años no es nada,
que febril la mirada,
errante en las sombras,
te busca y te nombra.

Vivir,
con el alma aferrada
a un dulce recuerdo,
que lloro otra vez.

Tengo miedo del encuentro
con el pasado que vuelve
a enfrentarse con mi vida.
Tengo miedo de las noches
que, pobladas de recuerdos,
encadenan mi soñar.
Pero el viajero que huye,
tarde o temprano detiene su andar.
Y aunque el olvido que todo lo destruye,
haya matado mi vieja ilusión,
guarda escondida una esperanza humilde,
que es toda la fortuna de mi corazón.

Volver..." - Estrella Morente

on my mind

- 2008 mixed media -

"Somebody's on my mind
Like an old sweet song, "The Lasting Time"
Somebody's on my mind
So I'm walking on clouds on a silver line
To dream my dream could be my mistake
But I'd rather be wrong
And sleep right along than wake
Love may be blind I'll take my chances
That it cares this affair, my real romance
That's why you'll find somebody's on my mind"

- Billie Holiday (1915 – 1959)

cuando tardas y demoras

- mixed media -

"El amor es un bolsa de recuerdos
es un grito, una mirada entre los dos
es un abismo sin final
el esfuerzo de tu manos con las mias
la caricia de un buen beso y sin medida

Es sentirse mas que dos cuando caminas
es gastarse en una boca el corazon...

El amor es asertijo, es el pecado santigual
es la locura de los sexos, el sudor de nuestros huesos
y es un punto de partida en nuestra vida
que nos cega la mirada y nos lastima

Es sentirse mas que dos cuando caminas
es gastarse en una boca el corazon...

El amor es mi extructura, es la palabra
las esquinas de tu boca, la verdad
es pilar que me sostiene cuando siento que estoy solo
cuando tardas y demoras en volver

Cuando tardas y demoras
y hace tiempo que no vuelves
y se retarda nuestro encuentro es mi amor el que soporta
y es mi muro elaborado con heridas
el que inyecta su veneno y asi vivo

Es sentirse mas que dos cuando caminas
es gastarse en una boca el corazon...

El amor es complicado acurrucarlo
cuando decide marcharse del lugar donde aparco
el amor es nuestro punto de partida
es sentirse mas que dos cuando caminas
es tu pierna entre cruzada, que me anima la garganta
y te canto esta cancion

El amor es mi estructura, es la palabra
las esquinas de tu boca, la verdad
es pilar que me sostiene cuando siento que estoy solo
cuando tardas y demoras en volver

El amor es no espantarse a las miradas
es querer vivir el tiempo un poco mas
es pilar que me sostiene, cuando siento que estoy solo
cuando tardas y demoras en volver..."
- PERROZOMPOPO

april in paris - why not? let's go...

"April in Paris,
chestnuts in blossom,
holiday tables under the trees...
April in Paris,
this is the feeling,
no one can ever reprise,
I never knew the charm of spring...
I never met it face to face...
I never new my heart could sing...
never missed a warm embrace...
till April in Paris,
whom can I run to?
what have you done to my heart? "
- E.Y. Harburg / Vernon Duke (circa 1933)

new born life, love & peace

"For I remember it is Easter morn,

And life and love and peace are all new born."

- Alice Freeman Palmer (1855-1902)

pueblo blessing

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.

Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.

Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.

Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.

Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.

- Pueblo Blessing

re-birth

- 2007 mixed media from my journals -

Little Bird hatched from Mother’s ancient crystals with a precious gem balanced upon its beak.

“Why am I here?” Little Bird asked Water Buddha.

Little Bird, you are here to live.
To breathe and to fly.
To laugh and to cry.
Little Bird, you are here to die.

“To die? But have I not just now begun to live? I do not understand,” Little Bird cried.

Little Bird, life would not exist without death.
And really, death is but re-birth.
Little Bird, you have always been and shall always be.

excerpt from short story, originally published in 2007

poetic thoughts

- 2008 mixed media -

Don't tell me women
are not the stuff of heroes,
I alone rode over the East Sea's
winds for ten thousand leagues.
My poetic thoughts ever expand,
like a sail between ocean and heaven.
I dreamed of your three islands,
all gems, all dazzling with moonlight.
I grieve to think of the bronze camels,
guardians of China, lost in thorns.
Ashamed, I have done nothing;
not one victory to my name.
I simply make my war horse sweat.
Grieving over my native land
hurts my heart. So tell me;
how can I spend these days here?
A guest enjoying your spring winds?

- Qiū Jǐn (1875-1907) translated by Zachary Jean Chartkoff

A writer. A poet. A feminist. A revolutionary. A hero.
She believed and fought for FREEDOM, for women's rights to marry, to be educated, to be free of bound feet...

originally posted in 2008

luna llena

- 2013 mixed media -

let us dance and dream under the full moon tonight

the heart finds its morning

- mixed media -

"For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed." - Kahlil Gibran

a kiss like melting snow

"How did it happen that their lips came together? How does it happen that birds sing, that snow melts, that the rose unfolds, that the dawn whitens behind the stark shapes of trees on the quivering summit of the hill? A kiss, and all was said." - Victor Hugo