"You meet another person and there are qualities in that personality which offend you and there are qualities which attract you - some qualities seduce you - some qualities repel you - some qualities sexually excite you - some qualities revolt you - some qualities interest you - some qualities fascinate you - some qualities bore you. It's only when you can see through all that veil...through all your own desires... Beyond Sita walking in the path that you can see beyond all that to where the other being is." - Ram Dass
Updated Daily: January 2007 - February 2020
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Friday, December 8
Thursday, December 7
if she were a regular friend she might dump you as a miserable ingrate
"She shows up just when you need her. She always gives you the support and counsel you need, and never judges you.
She is an amazing psychic advisor: she knows what the future holds for you, and she can tell you what to do and what not to do to avoid something bad or find the right job, or the right home, or the right partner.
She is a...healer who can help you to fix your body before you get sick, and who has the right medicine and nurturing to speed you into healing and recovery...She makes house calls at any time, and she never charges you a cent.
She's fabulous fun and a great traveling companion. She makes you want to get up and dance, and sing, and play. She loves to fly off to exotic places...
She has wonderful energy. An hour in her company gives you a boost for a whole week.
She'll mother you when you, and your beautiful inner child self, need mothering, hold you when you need holding, and give you a shove when you need to jump through a hole in the world.
She knows you better than you know yourself, in your everyday mind. When she holds up a mirror in front of you, you don't notice the blemishes. You see a being of radiant power and possibility, your ancient and shining self. And in that moment of recognition, you begin to remember and live from your soul's purpose, the sacred contract you signed before you came into your present body.
...and you never say thank you, or remember her birthday. You ignore her advice more often than not...You forget the songs you sang together, and those nights of love and beauty...If you find the moon through the smog and city lights, you do not recollect that she flew you there...
If she were a regular friend, she might dump you as a miserable ingrate. This friend is beyond the ordinary, and she has the patience of an angel - but even the patience of angels is not endless. So if you won't take her advice, she might make less of an effort to warn you...Then the magic begins to flicker in your world, and you are more alone than you ever need or want to be.
...dreams require action. We must take action to honor the friend who visits and advises and travels with us in our dreams, but the most important is the one we find in the mirror - when our sight is clear: the ancient and shining self.
Taking the right action to honor dreams is practical magic of a high order. Real magic is the art of reaching into a deeper reality and bringing gifts from it into the physical world. This is what we do when we honor dreams, and the powers that speak through dreams."
- Robert Moss
Wednesday, December 6
anoint the earth
she wears feathers in her hair,
she dances barefoot with a babe at her breast,
sacred milk drips down and anoints the earth
Mother Earth
selfie
Tuesday, December 5
inertia
"The first layer of consciousness is inertia. It is a level of non-movement: it is a level in which your energy, whether on the dance floor or in your psyche, is simply stuck.
Everybody experiences inertia. It is the groggy, barely conscious state when you first wake up in the morning. Or when you return to work from vacation. Or when you are in momentary insecurity about something or other. It is the state of despairing inaction when you've locked into the same routine day after day. The drugged passivity of TV watching. The stoned immobility of drug-taking, drinking. The moral and intellectual laziness of just getting by.
The only question is whether you choose to live in inertia or pass through it in the flow of your life - day to day, year to year, cycle to cycle. Inertia is seductive. It has characteristics of the ecstasy we're seeking and knew in the womb. It's natural, effortless, totally accommodating. But we're made to move, to become, to grow, to change, to create, and the true paradise of ecstasy lies not in inaction but in action that is so totally absorbing it seems like no work at all. Quickly the false ecstasy of lazing around, indulgence, and passivity takes its toll in the self-destructive effects of imploded energy...
...As a temporary resistance to the demands of life, inertia is simply a place from which to start. As you recognize its grip on you, you can confront it with movement and vitalize your being with the energy of change. You can summon the dancer within, the part of you that instinctively knows how to explore the full range of the body's rhythms. It is natural for the body to move, and the simplest way out of inertia is to start moving it. Stretch, lean, shuffle, swirl, with or without music, alone or with others. The easiest way is just to ease into flowing movements that will gradually seduce the body into the other rhythms. Dance is always available no matter where you are and is a ready catalyst to get your energy moving.
If you live in inertia - "waking sleep," Gurdjieff called it - as your basic energy level, as most of us do, your reality is comprised of a structure of unquestioned beliefs and frozen attitudes that are a bulwark against change. Movement and change are feared as painful and disruptive. The status quo seems to offer a haven of security. Truthfully, you are a wallflower at the dance of life, refusing every offer to move, out of fear of the unknown or of making a fool of yourself; you don't make the effort. But this holding back - hanging on tight to everything, especially your body, which becomes the repository of all your repressed feelings, thoughts, and action - used up all your physical, emotional, and mental energy. And you have nothing to show for this use of energy but the same old patterns and a deteriorating body and spirit. Because you don't dare to breathe life in and let it out, you live on a very restricted energy supply.
At bottom, inertia is the level of being unconscious, the home of the victim, the place where life just happens to you and you're unaware of your responsibility to create your own reality. It's the level of the pregnant woman who obviously chainsmokes, the macho laborer who stupefies himself every night with a six-pack, the high-powered executive who's married to his job and measures everything and everyone, including himself, by company standards, or the actor who has nothing to say without a script.
In inertia we want our life and friends to be stable, predictable, homogenized. It's so much easier to be in control when things around us don't change and we have the security of the known. We stay in an unhappy marriage or job or situation for years and years rather than risk the uncertainty, the adventure, the pain of venturing forth. In fact, all our "adventure" is planned and prepackaged, innocuous and ultimately dissatisfying - we buy the hype of cruises, cars, beer, movies, to sate our frustrated desire for true novelty and authentic experience.
Often we turn around and watch even our children lock themselves into routines and perspectives that suffocate them, choke their growth and spontaneity, and snuff out the sparks we saw burning in them when they first entered the world. It hurts as we watch them lock into the vicious spiral of victimization, resentment, isolation. Or of flattery, melancholy, and self-importance. We know all the dances all too well. We taught them the steps. We reinforce these patterns rather than acknowledging our children's pain and guiding them to face the challenges that will nurture their growth. Because we are not bold, not warriors, we don't empower our children - to their lifelong detriment. Seeing their weakness, cowardice, and compromising is to watch parts of ourselves die, the parts that are young and fresh and full of promise.
Listen to the voices of inertia: Don't rock the boat. You're making a big mistake. Don't act impulsively. You've got to plan ahead. Be careful. Be prepared. But think of your family. Think of your friends. But if you do that... Don't burn your bridges. You'll regret it. You'll be sorry."
- Gabrielle Roth
so, my dear I invite you to step onto the dance floor with me...it is time to seduce the body into other rhythms...
Monday, December 4
my dear, it's what you don't say
"It's not what you say...it's what you don't say...There's not an ounce of excitement. Not a whisper of a thrill. This relationship has all the passion of a pair of tit mice. I want you to get swept away out there. I want you to levitate.
I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a Dervish...Yeah. Be deliriously happy or at least leave yourself open to be...I know it's a cornball thing, but love is passion. Obsession. Someone you can't live without. I say fall head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy, and who'll love you the same way back. How do you you find them? Well, you forget your head and you listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Because the truth is, honey, there's no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven't lived a life at all. But you have to try, because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."
- William Parrish from "Meet Joe Black"
circa 1998
Sunday, December 3
renunciation
I have started re-reading the amazing book, "Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change" by Pema Chodron.
On this full moon I contemplate these words of wisdom:
"For one day (or one day a week), refrain from something you habitually do to run away, to escape. Pick something concrete, such as overeating or excessive sleeping or over-working or spending too much time texting or checking emails. Make a commitment to yourself to gently and compassionately work with refraining from this habit for this one day. Really commit to if. Do this with the intention that it will put you in touch with the underlying anxiety or uncertainty that you've been avoiding. Do it and see what you discover."
- Pema Chodron
detail from mixed media on canvas, 2017
Saturday, December 2
longing
When I learned the name and address of that, I went to where you sell perfume.
I begged you not to trouble me so with longing.
Come out and play!
Flirt more naturally.
Teach me how to kiss.
On the ground a spread blanket, flame that's caught and burning well, cumin seeds browning, I am inside all this with my soul." - RUMI
a lovely poem that found this morning after my yoga and meditation
Friday, December 1
Thursday, November 30
and then he kissed me
"Well, he walked up to me and he asked me if I wanted to dance.
When he danced he held me tight.
And when he walked me home that night, all the stars were shining bright.
And then he kissed me.
Each time I saw him I couldn't wait to see him again.
I wanted to let him know that he was more than a friend.
I didn't know just what to do,
So I whispered I love you.
And he said that he loved me too
And then he kissed me.
He kissed me in a way that I've never been kissed before,
He kissed me in a way that I wanna be kissed forever more.
I knew that he was mine so I gave him all the love that I had.
And one day he took me home to meet his mon and his dad.
Then he asked me to be his bride,
And always be right by his side.
I felt so happy I almost cried
And then he kissed me..."
- Phil Spector, Ellie Greenwich & Jeff Barry
my lips, selfie from today
Wednesday, November 29
cuando tardas y demoras y hace tiempo que no vuelves y se retarda nuestro encuentro
"El amor es un bolsa de recuerdos
es un grito, una mirada entre los dos
es un abismo sin final
el esfuerzo de tu manos con las mias
la caricia de un buen beso y sin medida
Es sentirse mas que dos cuando caminas
es gastarse en una boca el corazon...
El amor es asertijo, es el pecado santigual
es la locura de los sexos, el sudor de nuestros huesos
y es un punto de partida en nuestra vida
que nos cega la mirada y nos lastima
Es sentirse mas que dos cuando caminas
es gastarse en una boca el corazon...
El amor es mi extructura, es la palabra
las esquinas de tu boca, la verdad
es pilar que me sostiene cuando siento que estoy solo
cuando tardas y demoras en volver
Cuando tardas y demoras
y hace tiempo que no vuelves
y se retarda nuestro encuentro es mi amor el que soporta
y es mi muro elaborado con heridas
el que inyecta su veneno y asi vivo
Es sentirse mas que dos cuando caminas
es gastarse en una boca el corazon...
El amor es complicado acurrucarlo
cuando decide marcharse del lugar donde aparco
el amor es nuestro punto de partida
es sentirse mas que dos cuando caminas
es tu pierna entre cruzada, que me anima la garganta
y te canto esta cancion
El amor es mi estructura, es la palabra
las esquinas de tu boca, la verdad
es pilar que me sostiene cuando siento que estoy solo
cuando tardas y demoras en volver
El amor es no espantarse a las miradas
es querer vivir el tiempo un poco mas
es pilar que me sostiene, cuando siento que estoy solo
cuando tardas y demoras en volver..."
- PERROZOMPOPO
Tuesday, November 28
move on
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By bonding to your past, you not only ensure that you'll be immobilized today, but you prevent yourself from healing...
In a universe that's an intelligent system with a divine creative force supporting it, there simply can be no accidents. As tough as it is to acknowledge, you had to go through what you went through in order to get to where you are today, and the evidence is that you did. Every spiritual advance that you will make in your life will very likely be preceded by some kind of fall or seeming disaster. Those dark times, accidents, illnesses, abuses, and broken dreams were ALL IN ORDER...
Practice living in the moment, and REFUSE to allow any thoughts based on your past to define you. Stop and take notice of all that's in your immediate space - the people, creatures, vegetation, cloud formations, building designs, everything. Stay in the present by meditating and getting closer to the ultimate now...God.
Your past history and all of your hurts are no longer here in your physical reality. Don't allow them to be here in your mind, muddying your present moments. Your life is like a play with several acts. Some of the characters who enter have short roles to play, others, much larger. Some are villains and others are good guys. But all of them are NECESSARY, otherwise they wouldn't be in the play. Embrace them all, and move on to the next act."
- Dr. Wayne Dyer
2013 limited edition mixed media on paper
Monday, November 27
Estrella Maruca
The story-poem is about a little star who dreams of becoming a mother...it was written for my beloved Grandmother, in her honor:
Un día, una estrellita muy bonita fue hablar con el Padre Sol, pidiéndole un gran favor.
- Padre, yo sueño con ser Madre. Quisiera vivir en la tierra para sentir y amar hasta llorar.
--- Estrellita, hija mía, tu lugar es en el cielo, de donde puedes alumbrar y atravez de esa luz, amar.
- O, Padre Sol, te pido que me dejes caminar el mundo. Prometo llevar conmigo el manto de nuestra Madre María, ya que es por Ella que sueño con ser Madre un día.
excerpt from "Estrella Maruca" © 2005
Sunday, November 26
almost
“You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever.
I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it..."
I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it..."
- Jane Austen (1775 - 1817)
Saturday, November 25
divine prey is always near my dear
"Why abstain from love when like the beautiful snow goose - someday your soul will leave this summer camp?
Why abstain from happiness, when like a skilled lion your heart is nearing and will someday see the divine prey is always near!"
- my beloved HAFIZ
self-portrait from a series
Friday, November 24
something's gotta give
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- 2013 mixed media on paper - |
When an irresistible force such as you
Meets and old immovable object like me
You can bet as sure as you live
Meets and old immovable object like me
You can bet as sure as you live
Something's gotta give
Something's gotta give
Something's gotta give
Something's gotta give
Something's gotta give
When an irrepressible smile such as yours
Warms an old implacable heart such as mine
Don't say no because I insist
Warms an old implacable heart such as mine
Don't say no because I insist
Somewhere, somehow
Someone's gonna be kissed
Someone's gonna be kissed
So En Garde who knows what the fates have in store
From their vast mysterious sky?
I'll try hard ignoring those lips I adore
But how long can anyone try?
From their vast mysterious sky?
I'll try hard ignoring those lips I adore
But how long can anyone try?
Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight it with all of our might
Chances are some heavenly star spangled night
We'll find out as sure as we live
Chances are some heavenly star spangled night
We'll find out as sure as we live
Something's gotta give
Something's gotta give
Something's gotta give
- original music and lyrics by Johnny Mercer, sung by Ella FitzgeraldSomething's gotta give
Something's gotta give
Thursday, November 23
so I danced
Dance, when you're broken open.Dance, if you've torn the bandage off.Dance in the middle of the fighting.Dance in your blood.Dance, when you're perfectly free.- RUMImixed media on paper from my journals
Wednesday, November 22
Tuesday, November 21
disassembled
"He sweeps his arm across plates and glasses on a restaurant table so she might look up somewhere else in the city hearing this cause of noise. When he is without her. He, who has never felt alone in the miles of longitude between desert towns...He lies in his room surrounded by the pale maps. He is without her. His hunger wishes to burn down all social rules, all courtesy. Her life with others no longer interests him. He wants only her stalking beauty, her theatre of expressions. He wants the minute and secret reflection between them, the depth of field minimal, their foreignness intimate like two pages of a closed book. He has been disassembled by her..."
- Michael Ondaatje
Monday, November 20
reality is merely an illusion
"The Australian Aborigines believe that two separate realities exist: that of everyday life, and that of the dreamtime, the timeless realm from which energy beings (the gods) first sung the world into existence. The dreamtime is the domain of song and poetry, of symbols and archetypes; the shamans believe that it's the more important of the two realities, for it births, shapes, and forms the physical world. They'd probably agree with Einstein, who said, 'Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.'
In our own culture, we've come to value our waking reality so much that we've forgotten our power to conceive from the invisible world of the dreamtime and co-create with the universe."
- Alberto Villoldo
from childhood I learned that I could receive messages through dreams...
ideas for my artwork and poetry often originate in vivid, detailed dreams...
Sunday, November 19
dame de tu boca esa furia loca
"Ay, Rosa, Rosa tan maravillosa
como blanca diosa,
como flor hermosa
tu amor me condena
a la dulce pena de sufrir...
Ay, Rosa, Rosa dame de tu boca
esa furia loca
que mi amor provoca
que me causa llanto
por quererte tanto,
sólo a ti.
Ay, Rosa, Rosa eres orgullosa
y sin contemplarme
tu fe se destroza
mientras tanto yo
agonizo por ti, ay!
Ay, Rosa dame todos tus sueños
dueño de tu amor quiero ser
ay, dame de tu ayer las heridas
vida, junto a mí has de tener, ay!
Ay, Rosa, Rosa eres orgullosa
y sin contemplarme
tu fe se destroza
mientras tanto yo
agonizo por ti, ay!
Ay, Rosa, Rosa pide lo que quieras
pero nunca pidas
que mi amor se muera
si algo ha de morir,
moriré yo por ti.
Ay, Rosa! Ay, Rosa!"
- SANDRO
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