halloween

- mixed media depicting dreams -

"Halloween is an ancient druidic holiday, one the Celtic peoples have celebrated for millennia. It is the crack between the last golden rays of summer and the dark of winter; the delicately balanced tweak of the year before it is given over entirely to the dark; a time for the souls of the departed to squint, to peek and perhaps to travel through the gap. What could be more thrilling and worthy of celebration than that? It is a time to celebrate sweet bounty, as the harvest is brought in. It is a time of excitement and pleasure for children before the dark sets in. We should all celebrate that." - Jenny Colgan

wise at last

"...I'm wild again, beguiled again.
A simpering, whimpering child again.
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I...

Couldn't sleep and wouldn't sleep
When love came and told me, I shouldn't sleep
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I

Lost my heart, but what of it
He is cold I agree
He can laugh, but I love it
Although the laugh's on me

I'll sing to him, each spring to him
And long, for the day when I'll cling to him
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I

He's a fool and don't I know it
But a fool can have his charms
I'm in love and don't I show it
Like a babe in arms

Love's the same old sad sensation
Lately I've not slept a wink
Since this half-pint imitation
Put me on the blink

I've sinned a lot, I'm mean a lot
But I'm like sweet seventeen a lot
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I

I'll sing to him, each spring to him
And worship the trousers that cling to him
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I

When he talks, he is seeking
Words to get, off his chest
Horizontally speaking, he's at his very best

Vexed again, perplexed again
Thank God, I can be oversexed again
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I

Wise at last, my eyes at last
Are cutting you down to your size at last
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - no more

Burned a lot, but learned a lot
And now you are broke, 

so you earned a lot
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - no more...

Romance, finis. 

Your chance, finis.
Those ants that invaded my pants, finis.
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - no more..."

- Ella Fitzgerald

my love

"...and what I am to you is not real,

what I am to you, you do not need,

what I am to you is not what you mean to me,

you give me miles and miles of mountains,

and I'll ask for the sea.

don't throw yourself like that,

in front of me.

I kissed your mouth, your back,

is that all you need?

don't drag my love around,

volcanoes melt me down.

...what I give to you is just what I'm going through,

there is nothing new, no, no just another phase of finding,

what I really need is what makes me bleed...

I kissed your mouth,

you do not need me."

- Damien Rice

with you

"My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yes, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Flying high.
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you." - James Blunt

mother courage

"I've been through it all, baby, I'm Mother Courage."

- Elizabeth Taylor (1932-2011)

mixed media on paper

whatever pieces

"Arrange whatever pieces come your way."
- Virginia Woolf (1882-1941)

mixed media on paper

riding the waves

"I love waves; I wish I had some in my hair. My daddy did, but I guess I didn't dive into that end of the gene pool. Virginia Woolf wrote my favorite book, The Waves, and I have a son who surfs them. I danced a thousand dances to Patti Smith's song "Wave" and I've waved a thousand good-byes. I've seen waves come and take my house, flood the same bedroom where they accompanied countless nights of lovemaking. I have ridden the waves of labor, of sorrow, and of bliss."

- Gabrielle Roth

despues que murmure la gente

- Frida Kahlo and Chavela Vargas, 2013 mixed media on paper -

"Tomate esta botella conmigo,
y en el ultimo trago nos vamos.

Quiero ver a que sabe tu olvido,
sin poner en mis ojos tus manos.

Esta noche no voy a rogarte,
esta noche te vas de deveras.

Que dificil tratar de olvidarte,
sin que sienta que ya no me quieras...

Nada me han enseñado los años,
siempre caigo en los mismos errores,
otra vez a brindar con extraños,
y a llorar por los mismos dolores...

Tomate esta botella conmigo,
y en el ultimo trago me besas.

Esperamos que no hayan testigos,
por si acaso te diera verguenza.

Si algun dia sin querer tropezamos,
no te agaches ni me hables de frente,
simplemente la mano nos damos,
y despues que murmure la gente..." - Chavela Vargas

but she had a husband

el me llamó y me contó lo siguiente:

"So I took her to the river.

I thought she wasn't married,

but she had a husband.

It was St. James' eve,

and almost as if agreed.

The streetlights went out,

the crickets went on.

At the far edge of town

I touched her sleeping breasts.

They opened to me suddenly

like fronds of hyacinth.

The starch of her petticoat

made a sound in my ears 

like a piece of silk

being ripped by ten knives.

Silver light gone from their leaves,

the trees have grown bigger,

and a horizon of dogs

barks far from the river.

Out beyond the rambles,

the hawthorns and reeds,

beneath her mane of hair

I made a hollow in the sedge.

I took off my necktie.

She took off her dress.

I, my belt and pistol.

She, four bodices.

No silken shell or spikenard

is finer than her skin,

nor did moons or mirrors

ever glow like this.

Her thighs eluded me

like startled fish,

one half filled with fire,

the other half with cold.

That night the road I ran

was the finest of them all,

without a bridle or stirrup

on a filly made of pearl.

As a man, I won't repeat

the things she said to me.

The light of understanding 

has made me more discreet.

I took her from the river

spiked with kisses and sand.

The sabers of the irises

were stabbing at the breeze.

I behaved as what I am.

A true-born gypsy.

I gave her a sewing basket 

made of straw-gold satin,

and refused to fall in love

because she had a husband,

though she said she wasn't married

when I took her to the river."

- Federico Garcia Lorca

con luna de tu frente

"Nadie comprendía el perfume

de la oscura magnolia de tu vientre.
Nadie sabía que martirizabas
un colibrí de amor entre los dientes.

Mil caballitos persas se dormían
en la plaza con luna de tu frente,
mientras que yo enlazaba cuatro noches
tu cintura, enemiga de la nieve.

Entre yeso y jazmines, tu mirada
era un pálido ramo de simientes.
Yo busqué, para darte, por mi pecho
las letras de marfil que dicen siempre,

siempre, siempre: jardin de mi agonia,
tu cuerpo fugitivo para siempre,
la sangre de tus venas en mi boca,
tu boca ya sin luz para mi muerte."

- Federico Garcia Lorca

"Nobody understood the perfume
of the dark magnolia of your belly.
Nobody knew how you martyred
the hummingbird of love between your teeth.

A thousand tiny Persian horses slept
in the plaza in the light of your forehead’s moon
while I for four nights laced myself
to your waist, the enemy of snow.

Between plaster and jasmine, your gaze
is a pale and seeding branch.
I searched through my chest to give to you
the ivory letters that say forever,

forever, forever: Garden of my agony,
your body fleeing from me forever,
the blood of your veins now in my mouth,
your mouth already lightless for my death."

- translation by Niina Pollari

2006 or 2007 carved wood block 

misterio

"Hay almas que tienen
azules luceros,
mañanas marchitas
entre hojas del tiempo,
y castos rincones
que guardan un viejo
rumor de nostalgias
y sueños.

Otras almas tienen
dolientes espectros
de pasiones. Frutas
con gusanos. Ecos
de una voz quemada
que viene de lejos
como una corriente
de sombra. Recuerdos
vacíos de llanto
y migajas de besos.
Mi alma está madura
hace mucho tiempo,
y se desmorona
turbia de misterio.
Piedras juveniles
roídas de ensueño
caen sobre las aguas
de mis pensamientos.
Cada piedra dice:
“¡Dios está muy lejos!”

- Federico García Lorca (1898-1936)

luz

¿Eva era rubia? No. Con negros ojos

vio la manzana del jardín: con labios

rojos probó su miel; con labios rojos

que saben hoy más ciencia que los sabios.

Venus tuvo el azur en sus pupilas,

pero su hijo no. Negros y fieros,

encienden a las tórtolas tranquilas

los dos ojos de Eros.

Los ojos de las reinas fabulosas,

de las reinas magníficas y fuertes,

tenían las pupilas tenebrosas

que daban los amores y las muertes.

Pentesilea, reina de amazonas;

Judith, espada y fuerza de Betulia;

Cleopatra, encantadora de coronas,

la luz tuvieron de tus ojos, Julia.

La negra, que es más luz que la luz blanca

del sol, y las azules de los cielos.

Luz que el más rojo resplandor arranca

al diamante terrible de los celos.

Luz negra, luz divina, luz que alegra

la luz meridional, luz de las niñas,

de las grandes ojeras, ¡oh luz negra

que hace cantar a Pan bajo las viñas!

- Rubén Darío (1867-1916)

como la tierra al sol

"Cada vez que te beso me sabe a poco.

Cada vez que te tengo me vuelvo loco.

Y cada vez, cuando te miro, cada vez,

encuentro una razón para seguir viviendo.

Y cada vez, cuando te miro, cada vez,

es como descubrir el universo.

Te quiero, te quiero

y eres el centro de mi corazón.

Te quiero, te quiero

como la tierra al sol.

Cada vez que la noche llega a tu pelo

de cada estrella blanca yo siento celos.

Y cada vez, cuando amanece, cada vez,

me siento un poco más, de tu mirada preso.

Y cada vez, entre tus brazos, cada vez,

despierta una canción y nace un beso.

Te quiero, te quiero

y eres el centro de mi corazón.

Te quiero, te quiero

como la tierra al sol."

-  José Luis Perales

esos que ennoblecen

"Para que nunca haya malentendidos

para que nada se interponga
voy a explicarte lo que mi amor convoca

tus ojos que se caen de desconcierto
y otras veces se alzan penetrantes y tibios
tienen tanta importancia que yo mismo me asombro

tus lindas manos mágicas
que te expresan a veces mejor que las palabras
tan importantes son que no oso tocarlas

y si un día las toco es solamente
para retransmitirte ciertas claves

tu cuerpo pendular
que duda en recibirse o entregarse
y es tan joven que enseña a pesar tuyo
es un dato del cual me faltan datos
y sin embargo ayudo a conocerlo

tus labios puestos en el entusiasmo
que dibuja palabras y promete promesas
son en tu imagen para mí los héroes
y son también el ángel enemigo

en mi amor estás toda o casi toda
me faltan cifras pero las calculo
faltan indicios pero los descubro

sin embargo en mi amor hay otras cosas
por ejemplo los sueños con que muevo la tierra
la pobre lucha que libré y libramos
los buenos odios esos que ennoblecen
el diálogo constante con mi gente
la pregunta punzante que me hicieron
las respuestas veraces que no di

en mi amor hay también corajes varios
y un miedo que a menudo los resume
hay hombres como yo que miran tras las rejas
a una muchacha que podrías ser vos

en mi amor hay faena y hay descanso
sencillas recompensas y complejos castigos
hay dos o tres mujeres que forman tu prehistoria
y hay muchos años demasiados años
de inventar alegrías y creerlas
después a pie juntillas

querría que en mi amor vieras todo eso
y que vos muchachita
con paciencia y cautela
sin herirme ni herirte
rescataras de allí la luna el río
los emblemas rituales
los proyectos de besos o de adioses
el corazón que aguarda pese a todo."

- Mario Benedetti 

corazones invencibles

"Hoy tu cara me lo dice todo,

En silencio me hablas de algún modo...

Algo no te deja ser feliz.

Sé, la vida no es cuento de hadas,

Y vamos de la fe a la nada,

Tratando de sobrevivir.

No hay difícil camino,

Cuando estamos juntos tú y yo,

Si vas en caída libre,

Y te sientes derrotada,

Yo me entregaré del alma,

Para curar tu dolor.

No te dejaré rendirte,

Yo te sanaré las alas,

Corazones invencibles,

Por la fuerza del amor...

Hoy te pido no pierdas confianza,

Aunque sientas que la luz se apaga,

Aquí yo sigo junto a ti,

Si nos lleva el destino,

Lo mejor está por venir...

Hoy te pido ya no tengas miedo,

Que yo me quedo junto a ti..."

- Aleks Syntek

my birthday

"When a woman is twenty, a child deforms her; when she is thirty, (s)he preserves her; and when forty, (s)he makes her young again."

- Leon Blum

breastfeeding in my mid-forties...

motherhood is making me young again...

motherhood is my fountain of youth...

gratitude for another year of life...

a recent filtered feline selfie with my fiercely feminine little goddess

inspiration

I am loving these colors together and can't wait to play with them on canvas soon...

Baby is wearing her older brother's blue overalls, yellow socks and turquoise shoes she chose herself. She holds one of my wonderfully wild Christian Lacroix journals and an embroidered purse my cousin gave me. The pale pink cotton blanket was amongst the first and few baby paraphernalia I bought (at a local TJ Maxx) when I found out I was having a girl. 

restless

"I'm awaiting a lover. I have to be rent and pulled apart and live according to the demons and the imagination in me. I'm restless. Things are calling me away. My hair is being pulled by the stars again."

- Anais Nin

a playful moment...my impromptu pillow is a mixed media on canvas...

kisses alone

"There are two ways to reach me: by way of kisses or by way of imagination. But there is a hierarchy: the kisses alone don't work." - Anais Nin 

snapshot: Peruvian feathers, grandmother's pearls, crystals and a rock my son painted blue when he was two...a corner of my world...

Papa-Coco

My brilliant grandfather whose soft, melodic voice I hear in my mind and in dreams, was born on this day in the year 1913. 

My beloved fellow Libran with eyes the color of skies...

Papa-Coco...

truths beyond

"The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself." 

- Anais Nin 

mixed media on paper 

melt

"I want to fall in love in such a way that the mere sight of a man, even a block away from me, will shake and pierce me, will weaken me, and make me tremble and soften and melt."

- Anais Nin

transformations

"I take pleasure in my transformations. I look quiet and consistent, but few know how many women there are in me."

- Anais Nin

shivers

"When she closed her eyes she felt he had many hands, which touched her everywhere, and many mouths, which passed so swiftly over her, and with a wolf-like sharpness, his teeth sank into her fleshiest parts. Naked now, he lay his full length over her. She enjoyed his weight on her, enjoyed being crushed under his body. She wanted him soldered to her, from mouth to feet. Shivers passed through her body."

- Anais Nin (1903-1977)

detail from 2015 mixed media on canvas 

dream on blue skies

"Dreams are necessary to life...Our life is composed greatly from dreams, from the unconscious, and they must be brought into connection with action. They must be woven together."

- Anais Nin

mixed media from my journals

Paris in October

what joy to introduce my children to Paris...

grateful to my aunts Edda and Lorena for the magical invitation...

such precious feelings

“You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever. 

I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it..."

- Jane Austen (1775 - 1817)

patience

"I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. 

I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. 

I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me.

I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. 

I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. 

I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. 

I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. 

I hate conflict and comparisons. 

I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. 

In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. 

I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. 

Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals.

And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.”

 - José Micard Teixeira 

snapshot - one of my pieces in a private collection