soy la reina de tus caprichos

el talismán de tu piel me ha dicho -
que soy la reina de tus caprichos,
yo soy el as de los corazones,
que se pasean en tus tentaciones,
el talismán de tu piel me cuenta
que en tu montura caerán las riendas

cuando una noche de amor desesperados
caigamos juntos y enredados
la alfombra y el alrededor, acabaran
desordenados
cuando una noche de amor que yo no dudo
la eternidad venga seguro
tu y yo, el desnudo y el corazón...seremos uno

yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: el talismán de tu piel lo dice,
yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: lo dice el corazón y el fuego de tu piel,
yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: el talismán de tu piel lo dice,
yo soy la tierra de tus raíces: a ver que dices tu

el talismán de tu piel me chiva
que ando descalza de esquina a esquina,
por cada calle que hay en tus sueños,
que soy el mar de todos tus puertos,
el talismán de tu piel me cuenta
que tu destino caerá a mi puerta 

- song lyrics - © ROSANA ARBELO

gratitude

a selfie with my soulful, talented brother tonight 

imagination in science

"We especially need imagination in science. It is not all mathematics, nor all logic, but it is somewhat beauty and poetry."

- Dr. Maria Montessori (1870-1952)

She was the first woman in Italy to receive a medical degree, and worked in the fields of psychiatry, education and anthropology.

A child’s education and development is not all math or logic...I too believe in balancing science with poetry...

wise and wild

"A healthy woman is much like a wolf: robust, chock-full, strong life force, life-giving, territorially aware, inventive, loyal, roving. Yet separation from the wildish nature causes a woman's personality to become meager, thin, ghosty, spectral. We are not meant to be puny with frail hair and inability to leap up, inability to give chase, to birth, to create a life. When women's lives are in stasis, ennui, it is always time for the wildish woman to emerge; it is time for the creating function of the psyche to flood the delta...It means to establish territory, to find one's pack, to be in one's body with certainty and pride regardless of the body's gifts and limitations, to speak and act in one's behalf, to be aware, alert, to draw on the innate feminine powers of intuition and sensing, to come into one's cycles, to find what one belongs to, to rise with dignity, to retain as much consciousness as we can."

- Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

...a beautiful, wild wolf has continued to visit my dreams 

dare my dear

"When I dare to be powerful -- to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid."

- Audré Lorde (1934-1992)

mixed media on paper

para los chismosos

I asked for wisdom and my beloved HAFIZ answered:

"One of the dumbest things you can do is backbite an animal or a human being. 

Reason is: Besides the fact that an animal who is feeling grouchy that day might bite you back...

Whenever you speak ill of any living creature something of their shadow might fall on you.

Some unwanted impressions of theirs could spill on your floor, 

and I imagine you are busy enough trying to keep things tidy."

- HAFIZ

snapshot - endless pearls with vintage silks and signature bronze sculpture

believe

...if you believe with all your might she'll make your dreams come true...

snapshots from shadows dancing on my walls (do you see the fairy?) and of my blessed little fairy goddess daughter 

holiness

"The dancer of the future will be one whose body and soul have grown so harmoniously together that the natural language of that soul will have become the movement of the body. The dancer will not belong to a nation but to all humanity. She will dance not in the form of a nymph, nor fairy, nor coquette but in the form of a woman in its greatest and purest expression. She will realize the mission of woman's body and the holiness of all its parts. She will dance the changing life of nature, showing how each part is transformed into the other. From all parts of her body shall shine radiant intelligence, bringing to the world the message of the thoughts and aspirations of thousands of women. She shall dance the freedom of women ..."

- Isadora Duncan (1877 – 1927)

mixed media on paper

un beso

"¡Amor, cuántos caminos hasta llegar a un beso,

qué soledad errante hasta tu compañía!
Siguen los trenes solos rodando con la lluvia.
No amanece aún la primavera.

Pero tú y yo, amor mío, estamos juntos,
juntos desde la ropa a las raíces,
juntos de otoño, de agua, de caderas,
hasta ser sólo tú, sólo yo juntos.

Pensar que costó tantas piedras que lleva el río,
la desembocadura del agua de Boroa,
pensar que separados por trenes y naciones

tú y yo teníamos que simplemente amarnos,
con todos confundidos, con hombres y mujeres,
con la tierra que implanta y educa los claveles." - Pablo Neruda

detail from 2013 mixed media on canvas in a private collection 

los hombres que la amaban

- mixed media on paper -

"Como a todas las muchachas del mundo,
también a Ella,
tejiéronla
con sus sueños,
los hombres que la amaban.

Y yo la amaba.

Pudo ser para otros un rostro
que el Viento del Olvido 
borra a cada instante.
Pudo ser,
pero yo la amaba.

Yo veía las cosas más sencillas
volverse misteriosas
cuando Ella las tocaba.
Porque las estrellas de la noche
¡Ella con su mano las sembraba!

Los días de esmeralda,
los pájaros tranquilos,
los rocíos azules,
¡Ella los creaba!

Yo me emocionaba
con sólo verla pisar la hierba.

¡Ah si tus ojos me miraran todavía!

Esta noche no tendría tanta noche.
Esta noche la lluvia caería sin mojarme.

Porque la lluvia no empapa
a los que se pierden 
en el bosque de sus sueños relucientes,
y sus días no terminan
y son sus noches transparentes.

¿Dónde estás ahora?
¿En qué ciudad,
en qué penumbra,
en cuál bosque
te desconocen las luciérnagas?

Tal vez mientras escribo,
estás en un suburbio,
sola, inerme, abandonada...

¡Abandonada, no!

En tu ausencia
mi corazón todas las tardes muere."

- Manuel Scorza (1928-1983)

arrogancia del sol

"Tiene la expresión de una flor,
la voz de un pájaro,
y el alma como luna llena,
de un mes de abril...

Tiene en sus palabras calor,
y frío de invierno,
su piel es dura como el árbol,
que azota el viento...

Y tiene el corazón de poeta,
de niño grande y de hombre niño,
capaz de amar con delirio,
capaz de hundirse en la tristeza...

El tiene, el corazón de poeta,
de vagabundo y de mendigo,
y así lo he conocido,
y así me gusta a mi que sea,
que tenga el corazón de poeta...

Tiene la arrogancia del sol,
mirada cándida,
su piel de nieve se hace fuego cerca de mi...

Es amigo y amante fiel,
ve las estrellas,
camina junto a mi soñando,
con cosas bellas...

Y tiene el corazón de poeta,
de niño grande y de hombre niño,
capaz de amar con delirio,
capaz de hundirse en la tristeza...

El tiene, el corazón de poeta,
de vagabundo y de mendigo,
y así lo he conocido
y así me gusta a mi que sea,
que tenga el corazón de poeta..." - JEANETTE

en mi amor

"Para que nunca haya malentendidos

para que nada se interponga
voy a explicarte lo que mi amor convoca

tus ojos que se caen de desconcierto
y otras veces se alzan penetrantes y tibios
tienen tanta importancia que yo mismo me asombro

tus lindas manos mágicas
que te expresan a veces mejor que las palabras
tan importantes son que no oso tocarlas

y si un día las toco es solamente
para retransmitirte ciertas claves

tu cuerpo pendular
que duda en recibirse o entregarse
y es tan joven que enseña a pesar tuyo
es un dato del cual me faltan datos
y sin embargo ayudo a conocerlo

tus labios puestos en el entusiasmo
que dibuja palabras y promete promesas
son en tu imagen para mí los héroes
y son también el ángel enemigo

en mi amor estás toda o casi toda
me faltan cifras pero las calculo
faltan indicios pero los descubro

sin embargo en mi amor hay otras cosas
por ejemplo los sueños con que muevo la tierra
la pobre lucha que libré y libramos
los buenos odios esos que ennoblecen
el diálogo constante con mi gente
la pregunta punzante que me hicieron
las respuestas veraces que no di

en mi amor hay también corajes varios
y un miedo que a menudo los resume
hay hombres como yo que miran tras las rejas
a una muchacha que podrías ser vos

en mi amor hay faena y hay descanso
sencillas recompensas y complejos castigos
hay dos o tres mujeres que forman tu prehistoria
y hay muchos años demasiados años
de inventar alegrías y creerlas
después a pie juntillas

querría que en mi amor vieras todo eso
y que vos muchachita
con paciencia y cautela
sin herirme ni herirte
rescataras de allí la luna el río
los emblemas rituales
los proyectos de besos o de adioses
el corazón que aguarda pese a todo."

- Mario Benedetti 

flesh on our bones

"I see who you are

behind the skin

and the muscles

I see who you are, now

and when you get older later

I will see the same girl

the same soul

lioness, fire-heart

passionate lover

and afterwards

later this century

when you and I have become corpes

let's celebrate now all this flesh on our bones

let me push you up against me tightly

and enjoy every bit of you

I see who you are..."

- Bjork

recent selfie with my wild and wonderful daughter who is reminding me of my wildness and wonder, my essence 

wildness

"...in 1450 a beautiful Celtic mermaid named Asenora swam ashore on the coast of Cornwall where a Benedictine monastery had recently been established. After removing her fish tail and hiding it among the rocks, she explored the area on foot and discovered the community of men. She made many clandestine visits – -

....Suspicious that Asenora was no ordinary woman but a mermaid, and greatly alarmed by her presence, the abbot of the monastery hid himself by the water and waited. He witnessed Asenora swim ashore, remove her fish tail and hide it in a niche in the cliff.

When she wandered off in the direction of the abbey, the shrewd abbot retrieved the fish tail, bundling it into his robe. He tucked it inside a secret compartment hidden under the seat of his chair, in the church. Without her tail, the poor mermaid could never go back to the sea, and soon the wildness of it drained out of her. Asenora was converted, and eventually became Saint Senara...”

excerpt from “The Mermaid Chair” a novel by Sue Monk Kidd @ 2005

layers

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. 

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. 

A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..."

- Elizabeth Gilbert 

sketches on a paper table cover by the light of a candle in New York City

to make you feel

"When the rain is blowing in your face,

And the whole world is on your case,

I could offer you a warm embrace,

To make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,

And there is no one there to dry your tears,

I could hold you for a million years

To make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet, but I will never do you wrong.

I've known it from the moment that we met, no doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,

And I'd go crawling down the avenue.

No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do

To make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea

And on the highway of regret.

The winds of change are blowing wild and free,

You ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.

Nothing that I wouldn't do.

Go to the ends of the Earth for you,

To make you feel my love..."

- Bob Dylan 

snapshot taken at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City

exquisite misery

This little sketch is a mixed media from 2011.

"My love has made me selfish. I cannot exist without you. I am forgetful of everything but seeing you again - my life seems to stop there - I see no further. You have absorbed me. I have a sensation at the present moment as though I was disolving - I should be exquisitely miserable without the hope of soon seeing you...I have no limit now to my love...Love is my religion. I could die for that, I could die for you."

- John Keats

exquisite misery...an interesting concept 

bare my soul in time

"Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow..."

- Sacha Skarbek, sung by James Blunt 

lovers and tribes

"We die containing a richness of lovers and tribes, tastes we have swallowed, bodies we have plunged into and swum up as if rivers of wisdom, characters we have climbed into as if trees, fears we have hidden in as if caves. 

I wish for all this to be marked on by body when I am dead. I believe in such cartography - to be marked by nature, not just to label ourselves on a map like the names of rich men and women on buildings. We are communal histories, communal books. We are not owned or monogamous in our taste or experience."

- Michael Ondaatje 

detail from mixed media on canvas

my grandfather guillermo

mi bello abuelo de colonias y cuentos 

el que me enseño a dibujar 

a jugar con palabras 

a platicar con seguridad

a ser una verdadera pavo-real-la de plumas blancas y plateadas como las de las hadas

siempre impecable y notable

un genio genial y jovial de medallas y honores

el de mis amores

siento su mirada noche y día

escucho sus consejos

segura que nos encontramos en mis sueños

excerpt from my journals 

testing and healing

"Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy."

- Pema Chodron 

new moon blessings

"The moon is a loyal companion.

It never leaves. 

It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. 

Every day it’s a different version of itself.

Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. 

The moon understands what it means to be human.

Uncertain.

 Alone. 

Cratered by imperfections."

― Tahereh Mafi

your taste

"still a little bit of your taste in my mouth

still a little bit of you laced with my doubt... 

still a little bit of your ghost - your witness  

still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed...  

still a little bit of your song in my ear, 

still a little bit of your words I long to hear..."

- Damien Rice

excerpt from my journals, mixed media on canvas 

besarnos en la cara o en los labios

"Parece mentira,

Que después de tanto tiempo,
Rotos nuestros lazos,
Sigamos manteniendo la ilusión,
En nuestro aniversario.

La misma mesita,
Que nos ha visto amarrar,
Las manos por debajo,
Cuida que el rincón de siempre,
Permanezca reservado.

Y aunque la historia se acabó,
Hay algo vivo en ese amor,
Que aunque empeñados en soplar,
Hay llamas que ni con el mar.

Las flores de Mayo,
Poco a poco cederán,
A las patas de gallo,
Y nos buscaremos con los ojos,
Por si queda algo.

El siete de Septiembre,
Es nuestro aniversario,
Y no sabremos si besarnos,
En la cara o en los labios.

Y aunque la historia se acabó,
Hay algo vivo en ese amor,
Que aunque empeñados en soplar,
Hay llamas que ni con el mar.

El siete de Septiembre,
Es nuestro aniversario...

- Mecano

curvature

"it's a lip thing with you.

the first time we met i could not

take my eyes off them.

you probably thought you had something 

in your teeth with the way i was staring.

i know their curvature like the reminiscent

smell of my mother.

give me a photograph of every mouth in the

world and i will pick yours out without question.

i do not have a religion but if i did it

would be them...

...they are what roses and mountains and oceans

could only hope to be.

with you it's a lip thing.

and then it became a heart thing.

and then soul.

and then all."

- Christopher Poindexter